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Whoa - major temptation right now. Nope.

Day 30 - Oh yeah, bad phrasing. And not posting for a couple days. I did not relapse, but I was hitting a low. Parenting and teaching are emotionally draining when things aren’t going as hoped. In the past, I would turn to porn as a way to relieve stress or just because I was feeling low. Quick...

Day 27 - TY TryingHarder. All about finding that balance between taking care responsibility and pursuing things I find personally rewarding. Falling behind only job causes stress. Not finding time for myself causes malaise. Both led to porn and beer.

Day 26 - back to work!

Day 25 - my wife is outta town for the weekend. Another great justification for porn foiled by my desire to be a better version of myself. Or maybe it’s just exhaustion. Either way, I’m staying clean today.

Day 23 - and…last night it turns out my 10 year old son made a racist joke at soccer practice. Nothing like an existential crisis coupled with a parenting crisis to cause insomnia. And…what’s the perfect justification for whacking it to porn? Battling insomnia. Nope, I’m gonna lay here...

Day 22 - I am a teacher and I’ve had enough of lesson planning. I love the students, but starting to feel like I’m not able to connect through history and literature like I could back in the day. Nothing like an existential crisis to take my mind off porn…

Super tired and unmotivated at work today. I went for a hike this afternoon and kinda felt like I was perving out when I saw pretty ladies walking or riding bikes. Like…appreciating their physique in a way that was only creepy in my mind. Got home and had some urges for porn as well. Funny how...

Day 20. Pretty worn down today. Had some trouble sleeping last night. No desire to lazily look at the female figure.

Wait…I’m not glad I failed on my previous attempt. Well, I guess I’m glad I at least tried and failed rather than coming into this quit for my first time. I think I was a bit cocky last time due to my success with quitting chewing tobacco using an online forum like this. Funny though, I made it...

Hey - it’s 9:40 in the PM and this is the first time that my porn addiction even crossed my mind. Wasn’t a craving, just a “oh shit, I didn’t check in today.” I’m glad I failed on my previous quit, because I know I can’t take that for granted. I will be tested.

Thanks DM. I appreciate the support. It really helps to know I’m not alone. I don’t think it’s 100% clicked yet, but I feel close to shutting the door. One moment at a time though.

I was researching withdrawals yesterday. Only had a couple cravings but I will stay aware of hitting low points or flatlining. I can be a super lazy pile of crap on the weekeends.

Day 17 - not a lot to say, but all good!

Day 16 - holy shit. Too tired to even think about porn. Actually, this would be prime time for mindless crotch scrolling. Ridiculous.

Day 15 - booyah

Day 14 - staying busy quiets the voice. Isn’t there some saying about idle hands doing the devil’s business? Can’t stay busy at all times, but I’ll be aware when the urge arises next.

Day 13 - Whoa! My addict voice is kicking in right now. My family is gone for the evening, and I haven’t had sex for about a week. So, I’m here posting. Then, gonna mow the lawn. Then I’ll do something else productive. I am in control of my actions. But, shit, that other voice is still strong...

Day 12 - today will be clean!

Day 11 - heading out this morning to be a volunteer spotter at a disc golf tournament. I chose to drop out from playing so I could attend my kids’ soccer game and marching band parade. Busy family day yesterday, so it’ll be nice this morning to kick it with a novel in the woods and make sure...