Crawling from the wreckage

[TryingHarder]

Day 759 (no PMO)

Day 0 (no looking at porn or porn substitutes)

I don't wish to go into a tailspin over looking at some arousing content lately, but it's a sobering thought: even after two years of being clean and no PMO, this fucking porn addiction still has an influence on me.

As I opined earlier, it's the same scenario: depression + bad behaviour = somehow, this will make me feel better.

Time to shut off my computer and go for a long walk.

 

[GBS]

Dear @TryingHarder , may I enquire? Did you just look at some porn subs are did that then make you MO with the thoughts? I realise my drawing a distinction is dangerous, but the simple truth is you know you’re just mildly clearing away some of those nettles that grew 8 foot high over the neural pathways. Not actually much more than that.

 

[Blondie]

It's okay @TryingHarder, I understand how you feel. It's a humbling thought to think you're getting over it (which you are) but then find yourself jumping back into it for a moment and realizing it can still have a grip on you if you let it. The fact is, you are over it, however, that little part of your brain still wants it once in a while, and that part I imagine will take a long time to go away.

Keep fighting man, you haven't lost it. You still didn't PMO. You're still going strong. One mistake does not define you.

Best