Ready to Quit

Zeile

Zeile

Active Member
I was researching withdrawals yesterday. Only had a couple cravings but I will stay aware of hitting low points or flatlining. I can be a super lazy pile of crap on the weekeends.
 
Zeile

Zeile

Active Member
Dangermouse said:
Hey @Zeile, stay strong, you can do this, there are lot of people rooting for you and here to support it what way possible.
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Thanks DM. I appreciate the support. It really helps to know I’m not alone. I don’t think it’s 100% clicked yet, but I feel close to shutting the door. One moment at a time though.
 
GBS

GBS

Respected Member
@Zeile - mate, you are not alone. I won’t give you my sob story but not only are there some good people on here trying to change themselves but there are thousands on this planet who are also trying or need to try.

You’re doing great. Stay true to your new values. We have got your back.
 
Zeile

Zeile

Active Member
Hey - it’s 9:40 in the PM and this is the first time that my porn addiction even crossed my mind. Wasn’t a craving, just a “oh shit, I didn’t check in today.” I’m glad I failed on my previous quit, because I know I can’t take that for granted. I will be tested.
 
Zeile

Zeile

Active Member
Zeile said:
Hey - it’s 9:40 in the PM and this is the first time that my porn addiction even crossed my mind. Wasn’t a craving, just a “oh shit, I didn’t check in today.” I’m glad I failed on my previous quit, because I know I can’t take that for granted. I will be tested.
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Wait…I’m not glad I failed on my previous attempt. Well, I guess I’m glad I at least tried and failed rather than coming into this quit for my first time. I think I was a bit cocky last time due to my success with quitting chewing tobacco using an online forum like this. Funny though, I made it over 100 days on that site and caved only to come back harder a year later. I’m almost 16 years clean on the nicotine front. So, yeah, maybe I am glad I failed on my first time here. No use crying over spilled semen.
 
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Zeile

Zeile

Active Member
Super tired and unmotivated at work today. I went for a hike this afternoon and kinda felt like I was perving out when I saw pretty ladies walking or riding bikes. Like…appreciating their physique in a way that was only creepy in my mind. Got home and had some urges for porn as well. Funny how this can feel so easy for an entire week, and then it hits hard out of nowhere. C’mon brain - work with me here! Oh yeah, and fuck the YouTube algorithm. Last time when I was here, I would kinda cheat by watching track and field or diving videos. Seriously haven’t watched either of those in months, and now that I’m quitting again, they start showing up in my suggested feed. Maybe they’ve always been there, but it just wasn’t on my radar. I may have to sign in with a new account and watch a bunch of nature documentaries or something.
 
Zeile

Zeile

Active Member
Day 22 - I am a teacher and I’ve had enough of lesson planning. I love the students, but starting to feel like I’m not able to connect through history and literature like I could back in the day. Nothing like an existential crisis to take my mind off porn…
 
Zeile

Zeile

Active Member
Day 23 - and…last night it turns out my 10 year old son made a racist joke at soccer practice. Nothing like an existential crisis coupled with a parenting crisis to cause insomnia. And…what’s the perfect justification for whacking it to porn? Battling insomnia. Nope, I’m gonna lay here, meditate, and quiet my brain.
 
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Zeile

Zeile

Active Member
Day 27 - TY TryingHarder. All about finding that balance between taking care responsibility and pursuing things I find personally rewarding. Falling behind only job causes stress. Not finding time for myself causes malaise. Both led to porn and beer.
 
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