Andrew Wiggin
Member
"Who is that?" That question can be asked in two different ways; it can be a "who is that?" uttered with pity and even disgust when at thirty you look back and see your 25 year-old you being a loser in a dark room. But also, it could be a "WHO IS THAT?" uttered with surprise at thirty looking back and seeing a young man taking control of his life.
I want to be able to ask that question in all-caps, as a new man, a succesfull man, a free man, someone who I am not today.
This is like the third, maybe fourth, time I try Reboot Nation since 2021. I have to be honest, I have never done it truly committed which has led me back to the filth, and the very big problem is that towards the end of last year I actually started to experience mental changes; when a few years ago I was full of shame and guilt and there was struggle, now I had nothing of the sort. I started to enjoy watching the filth, even with all the things I knew were bad about it, from the issues to my health and my motivation and even my psychology, to the social consequences and the criminal activities of the industry. I reached the "I don't give a fuck" phase, and that is terrifying.
It is terrifying to see that even though I am conscious of how much harm I am doing to myself and to those around me, and even to people who I don't even know, I just don't care. At all. There is no after thought. No guilt.
At least some of the times; because deep down, I know. If I didn't, I wouldn't be here, would I?
So, here I am. I know I am capable of change. I have seen it, even in my own life. I used to smoke around half a pack of Marlboro Reds per day since 2020, and on January 1st 2024 I put out my last cigarrette conscious that it was the last one I would ever smoke. And I have done it so far; haven't smoked, not a single puff. My non-smoking streak is currently at Day 121.
So, I know it is possible; and here I am, to try it once again.
I want to be able to ask that question in all-caps, as a new man, a succesfull man, a free man, someone who I am not today.
This is like the third, maybe fourth, time I try Reboot Nation since 2021. I have to be honest, I have never done it truly committed which has led me back to the filth, and the very big problem is that towards the end of last year I actually started to experience mental changes; when a few years ago I was full of shame and guilt and there was struggle, now I had nothing of the sort. I started to enjoy watching the filth, even with all the things I knew were bad about it, from the issues to my health and my motivation and even my psychology, to the social consequences and the criminal activities of the industry. I reached the "I don't give a fuck" phase, and that is terrifying.
It is terrifying to see that even though I am conscious of how much harm I am doing to myself and to those around me, and even to people who I don't even know, I just don't care. At all. There is no after thought. No guilt.
At least some of the times; because deep down, I know. If I didn't, I wouldn't be here, would I?
So, here I am. I know I am capable of change. I have seen it, even in my own life. I used to smoke around half a pack of Marlboro Reds per day since 2020, and on January 1st 2024 I put out my last cigarrette conscious that it was the last one I would ever smoke. And I have done it so far; haven't smoked, not a single puff. My non-smoking streak is currently at Day 121.
So, I know it is possible; and here I am, to try it once again.
Last edited:
