Hi guys, I struggle to find answers on the Internet about a specific issue, described below.
I am already porn-free (5 months now) and I was also completely porn abstinent for 2 years in the recent past before a relapse.
Does anybody currently in reboot and complete abstinence experience something like the following?
1) Sight of any attractive (to you) woman out in the world, on the streets, triggers strong sexual craving, so strong that it causes suffering. Meaning, you suffer because you feel you absolutely need to touch or otherwise sexually engage with that person; you realize that that is impossible, of course, so you suffer, you are extremely frustrated [Ethics prevent me from any kind of creepy or inappropriate behavior; rationally, I recognize that these feelings are like an objectification of women, so an additional level of frustration is feeling morally reprehensible for this objectification]
2) The trigger is not person-specific. A few seconds later, the sight of another woman on the other side of the street causes the exact same problem. And so on ad infinitum.
3) These feelings lack any aspect of romantic fantasy. It's more like I am seeing real women in the world as I used to see porn actresses online. Again, I rationally realize that is not the case, but it does nothing for the symptoms. The strong craving and resulting frustration continue unabated.
4) This problem does not seem to change no matter how long I have been abstinent from porn, as if the "pornification" of everyone I see is unchangeable and eternal (and that scares me).
5) This phenomenon is the same whether I am single or have a romantic partner. It's so strong, in fact, that I keep perusing the streets for attractive "sights" even when I am walking around with my girlfriend (and of course I feel ashamed about it).
6) I constantly compare my girlfriend's body with these "bodies" I see in the world. My partner usually comes up short, even if I love her personality and feel affection for her; in fact, even sex with her is actually fun for both of us.
7) Finally, I would like to emphasize that the sense of VISION is really crucial here. It is the SIGHT specifically—or conjuring a VISUAL image of a woman in my mind—that triggers the craving.
Has anybody experienced this and did you manage to find a solution? The lack of change (even when I was "clean" for 2 years) worries me extremely.
Thank you for reading
I am already porn-free (5 months now) and I was also completely porn abstinent for 2 years in the recent past before a relapse.
Does anybody currently in reboot and complete abstinence experience something like the following?
1) Sight of any attractive (to you) woman out in the world, on the streets, triggers strong sexual craving, so strong that it causes suffering. Meaning, you suffer because you feel you absolutely need to touch or otherwise sexually engage with that person; you realize that that is impossible, of course, so you suffer, you are extremely frustrated [Ethics prevent me from any kind of creepy or inappropriate behavior; rationally, I recognize that these feelings are like an objectification of women, so an additional level of frustration is feeling morally reprehensible for this objectification]
2) The trigger is not person-specific. A few seconds later, the sight of another woman on the other side of the street causes the exact same problem. And so on ad infinitum.
3) These feelings lack any aspect of romantic fantasy. It's more like I am seeing real women in the world as I used to see porn actresses online. Again, I rationally realize that is not the case, but it does nothing for the symptoms. The strong craving and resulting frustration continue unabated.
4) This problem does not seem to change no matter how long I have been abstinent from porn, as if the "pornification" of everyone I see is unchangeable and eternal (and that scares me).
5) This phenomenon is the same whether I am single or have a romantic partner. It's so strong, in fact, that I keep perusing the streets for attractive "sights" even when I am walking around with my girlfriend (and of course I feel ashamed about it).
6) I constantly compare my girlfriend's body with these "bodies" I see in the world. My partner usually comes up short, even if I love her personality and feel affection for her; in fact, even sex with her is actually fun for both of us.
7) Finally, I would like to emphasize that the sense of VISION is really crucial here. It is the SIGHT specifically—or conjuring a VISUAL image of a woman in my mind—that triggers the craving.
Has anybody experienced this and did you manage to find a solution? The lack of change (even when I was "clean" for 2 years) worries me extremely.
Thank you for reading