Getting my life back

ShadeTrenicin

Well-Known Member
Freddy said:
Day 7 hard mode going again... have some good stuff going on in private life with a new job ahead.

Het,

First of all, congrats on the new job!

And are you still doing the new sleep routine? How is that working out for you???

Keep going strong
 

Freddy

Active Member
Same as before.
Except that now my wife is considering leaving me due to bad relationship and brainfog over the past pandemic months. Really feels like shit but a good new wakening call. This crap though seems to be really difficult to get rid of.
New job turned out to be mentally very demanding which was/is bad for me. Struggling with being in control of my life obviously making a good excuse for PMO.
Starting to consider professional help and sleep meds to just be able to sleep properly and be more rested and have more energy day-time.
Sexually I have been able to perform ok lately but not like prior to this PIED. It is more affecting my overall health and energy state negatively at the moment without detrimental impact on sex performance.
 
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yogi

Active Member
Freddy you are back after quite a long time.
Keep journaling regularly.

Don't be disheartened. Keep fighting the good fight.
 

AJM

Active Member
Also realising that I have been in burn out mode for the past years
Yes indeed , an addiction to PMO ing is self inflicted pain
It affects us in every aspect, sex being only one of them.
It is very natural to fell burn out , feel it and dont numb it by PMOing this time.
Take care.
 

yogi

Active Member
Indeed Freddy, burn out is what this addiction does.
Always feeling tired, fatigued, not able to wake up in the morning feeling fresh, mood down, no interest in work, no interest in conversation or socialising- seems like wasted years.

But what is the main aim now, it's not to ruminate on the past, but rather craft a new future for ourselves. So many years of life ahead, in fact 30's are the time LIFE actually begins!

We aim to become productive and victorious men, not losers who keep self-pitying and doing the same shit over and over again.
 

Freddy

Active Member
Indeed Freddy, burn out is what this addiction does.
Always feeling tired, fatigued, not able to wake up in the morning feeling fresh, mood down, no interest in work, no interest in conversation or socialising- seems like wasted years.

But what is the main aim now, it's not to ruminate on the past, but rather craft a new future for ourselves. So many years of life ahead, in fact 30's are the time LIFE actually begins!

We aim to become productive and victorious men, not losers who keep self-pitying and doing the same shit over and over again.
Yes, but burn in this case also relates to having three kids now aged 4,6 and 7 in very short time, combined with a demanding job and poor relationship. Difficult to know what is the reason for which thing…
 

yogi

Active Member
Yes, but burn in this case also relates to having three kids now aged 4,6 and 7 in very short time, combined with a demanding job and poor relationship. Difficult to know what is the reason for which thing…
Freddy if you give up porn you will notice a substantial shift in mood, energy and thought patterns in the day. The family and 3 kids might seem irritating to the porn-addicted brain. But as you reboot, you will begin to see everything in a different light.

Continue your effort in self-transformation.
 
Hi Freddy,

I empathize with you - my wife and I both work full time and have two kids. When we are burnt out it makes it all to easy to revert to our sub conscious conditioning to make us feel good again but it only makes us feel good for a matter of minutes before the usual feelings of guilt, shame and regret come pouring in. After these feelings subside I would usually suffer bouts of anxiety for a day. What I am trying to do currently when I get the urge to consume porn is to stop everything and ask myself what benefit are to be gained from consuming. I also practice deep breathing techniques (similar to meditation) and try to shift my mindset to somewhere more positive. If I'm still feeling the urge and am losing the mental battle I try for a cold swim, shower, walk to physically try and shock myself out of the habitual way of thinking. I find this is two fold - takes my mind off P and eases the symptoms of being burnt out. It certainly isn't easy though. But you got this!
I realize it can be hard to get away from the family for 20 - 30 min to try these techniques but the advantages for me are far too beneficial to not find the time...
Keep moving forward mate!
Cheers.
MR
 

Freddy

Active Member
Hi Freddy,

I empathize with you - my wife and I both work full time and have two kids. When we are burnt out it makes it all to easy to revert to our sub conscious conditioning to make us feel good again but it only makes us feel good for a matter of minutes before the usual feelings of guilt, shame and regret come pouring in. After these feelings subside I would usually suffer bouts of anxiety for a day. What I am trying to do currently when I get the urge to consume porn is to stop everything and ask myself what benefit are to be gained from consuming. I also practice deep breathing techniques (similar to meditation) and try to shift my mindset to somewhere more positive. If I'm still feeling the urge and am losing the mental battle I try for a cold swim, shower, walk to physically try and shock myself out of the habitual way of thinking. I find this is two fold - takes my mind off P and eases the symptoms of being burnt out. It certainly isn't easy though. But you got this!
I realize it can be hard to get away from the family for 20 - 30 min to try these techniques but the advantages for me are far too beneficial to not find the time...
Keep moving forward mate!
Cheers.
MR
Thanks, not much hope to get things working with the wife anymore… but of course I need to get myself into shape in any case.
 

Freddy

Active Member
I'm sorry to hear this. Start looking after yourself first and foremost and with time and patience things will start looking up for you.
Agree to that. But phew to have to deal with divorce and jealousy feelings in the middle of Summer vacation. But our marriage might have been doomed from the start. Difficult to know. Still very sad because of course there are feelings after 9 years together. We basically went head over heals into a relationship, moved together and started to have kids. After the second it was enough for me and I wanted to focus on life and our relationship but my wife wanted a third(she does not know why). So the last 5 years have been quite stressful with 3 kids born within 3 years and 3 months. Now she is basically saying that she perhaps has not had feelings for many years and just has stayed for the kids sake. But now they are big enough and she wants to start living her life again. Kind of hurts because I get confirmed what I always thought, that she does not really love me which is why she does not provide me with acceptance. Trying not to blame her here, of course we should have done something earlier. Good to write about it though
 
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