Day 005
Thank you all for the encouragement and insights. I had to look up the, "Veteran of 1000 psychic wars" it sounded familiar but I couldn't place it. Blue Oyster Cult (Heavy Metal), awesome! Those lyrics ring true, like they've been here too. In times past I wasn't sure victory was attainable for me, but I've since moved on from their, realizing its a matter of faith. It would be impossible if I relied or expected victory in my flesh alone, but in faith it all becomes possible. Feeling good today, its quiet in my mind and even though I know the tempting thoughts will return at some point, I'm not concerned, just aware. My fast I had to abort for a few days, you can't do any heavy physical labor the first few days and my mother called to tell me my father was misbehaving and that I needed to come get him back on track and that means doing a bunch of stuff he's made excuses for not doing. So I had lunch, packed a bag, got some tools together and was ready to head out. That's when the wheels came off the wagon, my car broke down here in the driveway and my wife had the other car at her work. Then my mom called back and said that my father had sprung into action at hearing I was coming and that I wasn't needed. He's always been that way, for some reason he has to compete with me and try to show me up at everything, even if I'm not competing with him. Its crazy, but it was just enough to ruin my fast... Uggh! Anyway, so today I begin again with that. I think everyone else has more say over my life than I do. Yes, youth has past me by, but I'm far from done and a thousand times wiser. I am a veteran of a 1000 psychic wars, with all the scars and fresh from the fight. Once more unto the breech dear friends, Once more! I see your Blue Oyster Cult and raise you an Iron Maiden.
"Veteran Of The Psychic Wars"
You see me now a veteran of a thousand psychic wars
I've been living on the edge so long
Where the winds of limbo roar
And I'm young enough to look at
And far too old to see
All the scars are on the inside
I'm not sure that there's anything left to me
Don't let these shakes go on
It's time we had a break from it
It's time we had some leave
We've been living in the flames
We've been eating up our brains
Oh please don't let these shakes go on
You ask me why I'm weary, why I can't speak to you
You blame me for my silence say It's time I changed and grew
But the war's still going on, dear, and there's no end that I know
And I can't say if we're ever...
I can't say if were ever gonna be free
Don't let these shakes go on
It's time we had a break from it
It's time we had some leave
We've been living in the flames
We've been eating out our brains
Oh please don't let these shakes go on
You see me now a veteran of a thousand psychic wars
My energy's spent at last
And my armor is destroyed
I have used up all my weapons and I'm helpless and bereaved
Wounds are all I'm made of
Did I hear you say that this is victory?
Don't let these shakes go on
It's time we had a break from it
Send me to the rear
Where the tides of madness swell
And been sliding into hell
Oh please don't let these shakes go on
Don't let these shakes go on
Don't let these shakes go on
"Wasted Years"
From the coast of gold across the seven seas
I'm travellin' on far and wide
But now it seems
I'm just a stranger to myself
And all the things I sometimes do
It isn't me but someone else
I close my eyes, and think of home
Another city goes by in the night
Ain't it funny how it is
You never miss it 'til it's gone away
And my heart is lying there
And will be 'til my dying day
So understand
Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years
Face up... make your stand
And realise you're living in the golden years
Too much time on my hands, I got you on my mind
Can't ease this pain so easily
When you can't find the words to say
It's hard to make it through another day
And it makes me wanna cry
And throw my hands up to the sky
So understand
Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years
Face up... make your stand
And realise you're living in the golden years
So understand
Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years
Face up... make your stand
And realise you're living in the golden years
So understand
Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years
Face up... make your stand
And realise you're living in the golden years