I need to up my game.

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Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
zackergeet said:
Fight back those urges you know that if you go back to the same patterns you will have the same feelings about not having control of your lives and failing. Fight with all your forces man!
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Thanks, man. That's right, I need to survive this. I don't even remember when I've made it to 2 weeks last time. It's been months, I guess. If I relapsed now, it would be just like back then. I've said this a million times around the forum: This could easily turn into a "Relapse/Restart treadmill" for life, while I keep telling myself this time is the last time, this streak will be the streak. Sometimes I feel like I know everything I need to do to beat this then the craving hits me hard and I feel like I don't know shit. Sometimes I'm afraid I won't be able to live up to my own expectations. I know I should take it easy, stop being that hard with myself, I know all this, but it's hard to shake the thought that I've made too little progress in fuckin years. Shit.
 
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zackergeet

Active Member
rebootingyogi said:
Hi Escape, I have been following you since June 2021. You might recall me as "Yogi".

Now I am back, not able to recover my account. And yeah I relapsed, badly.

Disappeared since September 2021, I am making another attempt at rebooting.

Keep up the good work! Every streak, however short, is a small step towards victory!
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Hey @rebootingyogi yogi welcome back! I remember you as well. Although you had a fall you have to continue fighting! Best wishes
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Day 12

I have this long history of masturbating/edging to porn flashbacks and fantasies first thing when I wake up in the morning and my brain enters the autopilot, man. This morning I almost started but I stopped right before it.

And massive urges, man.

This is the first time ever when I start the year in this way. I never had a 12 days streak at the beginning of the year. And it's the first time when I don't go all the way in December before the "New Year's resolution" bullshit, I don't believe in it anymore, I believe in you start the day you are in, be it December or whatever. What I mean by "all the way": I watched porn and did some edging in December last year but I didn't binge PMO. I used to. Anyway, it's difficult with the urges and the craving, man.
 
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rebootingyogi

Member
Escapeandnevercomeback said:
Day 12

I have this long history of masturbating/edging to porn flashbacks and fantasies first thing when I wake up in the morning and my brain enters the autopilot, man. This morning I almost started but I stopped right before it.

And massive urges, man.

This is the first time ever when I start the year in this way. I never had a 12 days streak at the beginning of the year. And it's the first time when I don't go all the way in December before the "New Year's resolution" bullshit, I don't believe in it anymore, I believe in you start the day you are in, be it December or whatever. What I mean by "all the way": I watched porn and did some edging in December last year but I didn't binge PMO. I used to. Anyway, it's difficult with the urges and the craving, man.
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My observation:
You do this first thing in the morning on waking up
It means habituation to porn-based masturbation similar to brushing teeth
So one way to break this is to practise getting up a different, preferably earlier, time than your routine

Eg: If you get up everyday at 8 am, I suggest you force yourself to get up at 7 am, then go directly to brush your teeth, finish toilet needs and straightaway do some exercise (any damn thing you can think of). Then rest for sometime and straight for a shower!

This routine (wake up earlier than expected-brush teeth-toilet done-exercise-rest-bath) might help you break this part of the porn habit.

Just a suggestion, I have no idea how you live your daily life.
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
rebootingyogi said:
My observation:
You do this first thing in the morning on waking up
It means habituation to porn-based masturbation similar to brushing teeth
So one way to break this is to practise getting up a different, preferably earlier, time than your routine

Eg: If you get up everyday at 8 am, I suggest you force yourself to get up at 7 am, then go directly to brush your teeth, finish toilet needs and straightaway do some exercise (any damn thing you can think of). Then rest for sometime and straight for a shower!

This routine (wake up earlier than expected-brush teeth-toilet done-exercise-rest-bath) might help you break this part of the porn habit.

Just a suggestion, I have no idea how you live your daily life.
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Thanks for suggestion.
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Man, at least today I feel better than I've felt in a while. Only after 12 days hard mode. However, there is a downside for this: Massive urges, bro. The craving and the urges are crazy, man. But, I am here to write this for me as a reminder and motivational why I should not relapse.

Here is what porn gives me:

- High social anxiety;
- Lethargy for days after relapse;
- Lack of motivation;
- Lack of drive to succeed and do things in life;
- Low mental tolerance (a.k.a small things bother me more than they should);
- Physical pain feels stronger;
- Panic moments;
- My voice starts sounding thinner and more quiet in general;
- It makes me be mediocre overall;
- Concentration problems;
- Memory problems;
- It messes up my dopamine system and I can't enjoy anything anymore.

Did I forget something?

P.S:

You don't give up anything when you give up porn because, in order to give something up that thing must give you something, must be of some importance to you and the truth is that porn gives you absolutely nothing. Pleasure? This is not a good reason to throw your life away. Pleasure is never enough.

Comfort? Self-medication? It alleviates boredom, stress? Porn doesn't give comfort or medication, it causes discomfort and suffering on long term. The comfort is just a temporary illusion. Porn doesn't alleviate stress or boredom, it actually increases stress and makes you even more bored because you can't enjoy anything anymore.

Oh, there is actually something to give up when you quit porn: You give up all the problems caused by porn.
 
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logicprox

Well-Known Member
rebootingyogi said:
My observation:
You do this first thing in the morning on waking up
It means habituation to porn-based masturbation similar to brushing teeth
So one way to break this is to practise getting up a different, preferably earlier, time than your routine

Eg: If you get up everyday at 8 am, I suggest you force yourself to get up at 7 am, then go directly to brush your teeth, finish toilet needs and straightaway do some exercise (any damn thing you can think of). Then rest for sometime and straight for a shower!

This routine (wake up earlier than expected-brush teeth-toilet done-exercise-rest-bath) might help you break this part of the porn habit.

Just a suggestion, I have no idea how you live your daily life.
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I like this. I might also suggest replacing 'rest' with 'meditation'. Just sitting around doing nothing can be a trigger for some people, myself included. Meditation, on the other hand, replaces doing nothing with...consciously doing nothing lol, and can be a good long term way to begin to recognize and deal with urges.
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
logicprox said:
I like this. I might also suggest replacing 'rest' with 'meditation'. Just sitting around doing nothing can be a trigger for some people, myself included. Meditation, on the other hand, replaces doing nothing with...consciously doing nothing lol, and can be a good long term way to begin to recognize and deal with urges.
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Replaces doing nothing with consciously doing nothing :ROFLMAO: You've made me laugh hard.
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
There is nothing to give up when you give up porn, man. Porn actually gives you nothing. When you do something, you should look at what you achieve with that, how is that something that matters in your life. And then you look at porn and you see that it doesn't fit that criteria at all. It brings nothing to your life, it doesn't teach you anything, it doesn't help you connect, reproduce etc. Nothing to be missed, really.
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
And I've almost forgotten to mention that I have 12 days without alcohol too. I think it's been a period of 12 days of some sort of dopamine detox and it shows a little bit. Both porn and alcohol work the dopamine. When I stimulate my brain too much, I can't even sleep, I become agitated and stay up all night with a hyperactive brain unable to fall asleep. I remember a year ago when I was heavy into getting myself drunk out cold a few days a week and binging porn like crazy, for days in a row, I couldn't even sleep for a day or two. Once I was up 3 days in a row, by the third day I felt sick and dizzy because of lack of sleep. If I don't take care of myself, who would? It's time to live more healthy.
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Phineas 808 said:
Well said, Escape!
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Nobody comes to save us. We might have wives, friends, a shrink whatever but at the end of all this, we remain there alone with ourselves. If someone should save us from the chains of porn, is actually us. People can only give advice, tell us what they think, what worked for them but at the end of the day we are alone in our head with ourselves and only we can save ourselves.
 
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rebootingyogi

Member
Escapeandnevercomeback said:
Nobody comes to save us. We might have wives, friends, a shrink whatever but at the end of all this, we remain there alone with ourselves. If someone should save us from the chains of porn, is actually us. People can only give advice, tell us what they think, what worked for them but at the end of the day we are alone in our head with ourselves and only we can save ourselves.
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True indeed. We are responsible for ourselves.

Are you practising or considering yoga or meditation? They are very good techniques of self-discipline besides fostering both physical and mental health. Might help in diminishing those urges.
 
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