Day 15
Half a month no porn, no alcohol. I was invaded in the morning by flashbacks and fantasies. I started breathing more deeply and I focused on the action of breathing, trying to ignore the images, and it worked. The urges lost their intensity and I calmed down.
You know, this is that moment: I've passed, for the first time in I think months, the 10-11 days mark that was my limit and now I have this feeling that I can go on even more. Only crossing the line in my head could sabotage me now, focusing too much on the craving and not on the strategy to go through urges. The craving manifests itself through a feeling of low, of wanting stimulation, a desire for pleasure. The urges are easier to beat, in my opinion, when I don't focus all day long on craving pleasure. I've noticed this is the thing that uses to get me in the end: I start craving the pleasure too much, I start becoming very sexually frustrated and I justify why I need porn to meet my sexual needs. It has the ability to cloud my mind and make me forget that porn doesn't satisfy anything. Think about it: Things like exercise, eating, sex, studying etc. have a purpose, they do something for your life. Now see if you can find something that porn does to you. Is it educational? Nutritious? Helps you reproduce, connect with your partner? Helps you reduce stress and anxiety? After 17 years, I haven't found one single thing that porn gives me. Easy Peasy is right: Porn is absolutely nothing for our lives. Get rid of it, y'all! Stay strong and don't listen to the addicted beast!