forestwater
Member
Day 41: I was happy to wait for longer, but my partner ended up feeling better, and we had sex. It was really good. I had another O, which I was happy about for several reasons:
Now that I'm making this kind of progress, I think it's important to clarify something. I started this reboot after over a year of reducing my porn consumption due to being in a relationship, and after several months of even further reduction of usage due to living with my partner. This period of reduced consumption was by no means a reboot, since 1. It wasn't zero consumption, 2. I didn't know that porn was actually damaging; all I knew was that it made me feel kind of gross, and 3. I was still employing plenty of porn-related unhealthy attitudes & behaviors without realizing it. While PMO itself hadn't been a frequent habit for me for awhile, I was definitely in need of a reboot.
But despite that, I think my period of reduced consumption gave me a head start on my reboot. By the time I began my reboot, it was already fairly easy for me to avoid PMO, and I had already been rewiring (somewhat) to my partner.
I say this not to brag, but to be honest. I don't want anyone looking at my journal and getting frustrated by comparing themselves to me when they began their reboot under vastly different circumstances than I began mine. If I seem to be making progress "sooner" than other people might, there's a reason for that, and it's not because I'm in any way better. (Plus, I've still got a long ways to go.)
As has been said many times on here before, we all have a different reboot timeline which depends greatly on many, many factors. Whatever your factors may be, it's important to stick with this process and trust that it's going to make a difference. Good luck!
P.S.
P.P.S.
- It proved that last time was not an anomaly, and that I really can O to another person's touch now!
- It took less time than last time, demonstrating that both of us are getting better at making this happen
- I didn't go into the act thinking "I really want to orgasm from this." Instead, I went into it thinking, "This feels really good, and I would be content to just spend awhile feeling good without anything in particular happening." This shows that I'm making progress in healing from my "need" to reach climax
- As someone who is easily distractible, I often close my eyes while experiencing pleasure so I can focus. But this time, whenever I opened my eyes and saw my partner, it turned me on even more. It seems like good evidence that I'm making progress rewiring. I'm gonna try and keep my eyes open more often
Now that I'm making this kind of progress, I think it's important to clarify something. I started this reboot after over a year of reducing my porn consumption due to being in a relationship, and after several months of even further reduction of usage due to living with my partner. This period of reduced consumption was by no means a reboot, since 1. It wasn't zero consumption, 2. I didn't know that porn was actually damaging; all I knew was that it made me feel kind of gross, and 3. I was still employing plenty of porn-related unhealthy attitudes & behaviors without realizing it. While PMO itself hadn't been a frequent habit for me for awhile, I was definitely in need of a reboot.
But despite that, I think my period of reduced consumption gave me a head start on my reboot. By the time I began my reboot, it was already fairly easy for me to avoid PMO, and I had already been rewiring (somewhat) to my partner.
I say this not to brag, but to be honest. I don't want anyone looking at my journal and getting frustrated by comparing themselves to me when they began their reboot under vastly different circumstances than I began mine. If I seem to be making progress "sooner" than other people might, there's a reason for that, and it's not because I'm in any way better. (Plus, I've still got a long ways to go.)
As has been said many times on here before, we all have a different reboot timeline which depends greatly on many, many factors. Whatever your factors may be, it's important to stick with this process and trust that it's going to make a difference. Good luck!
P.S.
Thanks for the encouragement!Good good job on your journey! You seem to be making some great gains. It's funny (not really) what porn does to us, makes us sexualize everything and everyone, thinking we have a "right" to get off whenever we want. But that's not life, even for highly sexed couples. It's just a fact of life that you just can't have sex whenever you want, and that's okay. Porn, and all the associated problems that come with it, is never an option for anyone who wants a life of stability and true lasting happiness. Keep it up!
P.P.S.
Thanks for your perspective. That all makes sense. I don't have time right now to share my experience as a woman on this forum, but maybe within the next few days I will.About the environment that you think is not welcoming to woman.
I think a problem is, that on the one hand especially the NoFap-Community overlaps with Mans-Rights Activists who are against porn mainly because it makes man "weak" and follow the old, boring story of the evil woman who is tempting the man and on the other sadly big parts of self-proclaimend feminists are pro porn and think it is empowering and shit.
I really think this forum is good, because I know the people behind it are against sexual exploitation, too, but on the other hand there are also many conservative guys here (especially in the 40+ section, better not go there =D).
That's why I think it is very valuable to have the insights of woman who are partners and suffer from the addiction of their man on the one hand and woman who are addicted themselfes on the other, so it is not only men talking about their problems and partly trying to find someone to blame for it.
I think it would be very helpful or at least interesting to hear what makes you feel unwelcomed as a woman and like if you would share your view with us.