What exactly do you do when you are "embracing your authentic masculinity?" - do you have some examples?
Most of my boost has came from knowing that it is okay to be masculine and it has helped to calm my tumultuous soul (since masculinity was a huge part of my identity growing up but I tried to suppress it over time).
Authentic masculinity is open to interpretation. For me, it is:
Becoming the best version of yourself - regular exercise, healthy eating, ambitious goals to achieve, disregarding people's opinion (unless you specifically asked for their opinion on something, or they prove themselves to give valuable advice even when not asked for it). Read a lot of books, fiction, non-fiction, it doesn't matter! Reading is very good for the soul and it grows your personal vocabulary and your knowledge base. It also helps to develop your imagination, which is very important. We should always be learning new things, primarily focus on things that you
want to learn but you should also put some energy into learning things that you
need to learn (plumbing, basic electrics, putting up shelves, basic car maintenance etc). Naturally, you need to wait until you are ready to learn these things, I know more than anybody that concentration and memory can be the first to leave and the last to come back. Be patient and trust the process, porn abstinence will help!
Supporting your fellow people - this goes across the board. Support your friends in their ambitions and goals, give good advice (only when you know what you're talking about, bad advice can be very detrimental to people). Support acquaintances and strangers, even if it is simply smiling and saying hello as you cross eachother in the street. Ask people how they are doing (nobody ever does, believe me. It will help them a lot). Help people online, in forums etc, when they ask for help and you know the answers (or you feel that your interpretation can help). Check up on your friends (and family, if you like them) regularly, especially if you know they are in a bad place or their life is going through a major change (moving house, new job, new relationship etc)
Learn to love your own company. Don't put energy into trying to find any relationship that you can (95/100 times, these relationships always end badly and quell your progress as a human being). If you've been single for a while, that's great! You're happier than a lot of people who are in relationships! If you are in a healthy, happy relationship, make sure to ask them how they are regularly and support them in their goals, much like with friends. Note down their hobbies and interests and surprise them with something that aligns with these hobbies and interests every now and then (it doesn't have to be often, and it doesn't have to be expensive).
Be assertive, learn how to make good decisions quickly (abstinence from porn helps MASSIVELY with this). On the topic of porn, go nowhere near it! Porn quells your testosterone, self esteem, thinking skills, ambitions, sex drive, energy and it makes you depressed. It turns you into an empty shell and a slave to your job and other people (since you have no assertiveness and your self esteem is low). If possible, stop masturbating in general as well. Your confidence will go up and that crippling self awareness will disappear!
Learn how to be cruel if the situation requires but always CHOOSE kindness, when applicable
Hope this helps!
Day 138
Day 24 of no MO