A new chapter in my life.

Scorpio1990

Active Member
Hi everyone, I am new to this forum. I wanted to come here to start my new journey. My background is I was shown porn when I was 8yrs old but never really looked at it until I was around the age of 18. I normally would PMO to it here and there. I had girlfriends, long relationships, and others short. I had a lot of sex in my past. So through my 20s I would pmo whenever I had a chance but wasn’t addicted like I had to have it. It was normally when I was bored or before bed. The past two years I had successful sex with my gf nonstop and never had issues. My issues started to occur around March when I couldn’t really get hard with my gf. I freaked out and she got bothered because she though it was her which obviously wasn’t. After later that night we had sex three times which was successful. Then later on I would have issues again but still managed to have sex after but then I would have PE. I stopped porn right I away since I felt it was my issue. Then I would get awesome erections after and felt good again.

The 1st of May I woke up feeling different like never before, I felt unmotivated, helpless, depressed, lots of anxiety, and suicidal. I got help right away with mental health. I didn’t know giving up porn would give me withdrawals. I eventually learned I was in a flatline because I felt my sexual energy was gone. I didn’t have morning wood or any erection until two weeks. Then I started to get them more but still felt no sexual energy later around 20 days I managed to get turned on by my gf and had sex twice but after I couldn’t go a third round because I wouldn’t get it up.

To this day I have gone without pmo or mo. I haven’t watched porn and definitely don’t plan on ever relapsing because I wanna quit for good. My emotional symptoms have improved. The anxiety has a little bit but I get it because of the worry this is gonna be forever which I know isn’t just the amount of time it will take.

Now my questions are, Am I still in a flatline low libido even I if have erections with my gf not as hard but enough to penetrate and do I have PIED? Kissing my gf and grabbing her get me aroused. I also want to ask if sex is okay in a flatline? I read that sex keeps people in flatline for months or years. I can abstain for sure if that’s the only way to get cured. Thank you
 
I have been two weeks without PMO or MO of any sort and just today had my first morning erection in a long time. Unfortunately I am not at a point where I can answer your questions myself but I have a question for you: How did you become aware of the issue, and how has your girlfriend been about the situation? I'm in a relationship too and she discovered everything while going through my old phone and since I have been having ED assumed it was PIED instead. Having hid all this from her it's become very escalated to the point she threw me out. Guess I'm just looking for some hope since you seem to be still going with the same girl.
 

Scorpio1990

Active Member
She doesn’t know it’s from porn in fact she told me to watch to check which I didn’t. I knew porn was the issue. She actually doesn’t know my issue. I have been going through withdrawals so she’s been supportive. I want to tell her but I am afraid she will take it the wrong way. Eventually I will come clean but I’m just not ready.
 

Scorpio1990

Active Member
I have been two weeks without PMO or MO of any sort and just today had my first morning erection in a long time. Unfortunately I am not at a point where I can answer your questions myself but I have a question for you: How did you become aware of the issue, and how has your girlfriend been about the situation? I'm in a relationship too and she discovered everything while going through my old phone and since I have been having ED assumed it was PIED instead. Having hid all this from her it's become very escalated to the point she threw me out. Guess I'm just looking for some hope since you seem to be still going with the same girl.
She doesn’t know it’s from porn in fact she told me to watch to check which I didn’t. I knew porn was the issue. I have been going through withdrawals so she’s been supportive. I want to tell her but I am afraid she will take it the wrong way. Eventually I will come clean but I’m just not ready. I’m am hoping to get better soon because my I know lack of sex will become a issue. I know it’s tough man. I just know I’m done with porn and PMO.
 

Scorpio1990

Active Member
I have been two weeks without PMO or MO of any sort and just today had my first morning erection in a long time. Unfortunately I am not at a point where I can answer your questions myself but I have a question for you: How did you become aware of the issue, and how has your girlfriend been about the situation? I'm in a relationship too and she discovered everything while going through my old phone and since I have been having ED assumed it was PIED instead. Having hid all this from her it's become very escalated to the point she threw me out. Guess I'm just looking for some hope since you seem to be still going with the same girl.
My issue was back in April, I when I couldn’t get it up. My gut feeling told me it was porn. I still managed to have sex a few times with strong erections. I can still get hard but I don’t feel sexual energy like before.
 
She doesn’t know it’s from porn in fact she told me to watch to check which I didn’t. I knew porn was the issue. I have been going through withdrawals so she’s been supportive. I want to tell her but I am afraid she will take it the wrong way. Eventually I will come clean but I’m just not ready. I’m am hoping to get better soon because my I know lack of sex will become a issue. I know it’s tough man. I just know I’m done with porn and PMO.
You should tell her whether you are ready to or not. By not telling her you're taking away her option to stay and work on it with you or to leave because it's too much for her. If you love her you'll tell her.
 

Scorpio1990

Active Member
You should tell her whether you are ready to or not. By not telling her you're taking away her option to stay and work on it with you or to leave because it's too much for her. If you love her you'll tell her.
Yeah your definitely right, the thing that makes it difficult as well is that I’m dealing with the anxiety and depression. So it’s like I also need a support which she always been. So you got thrown out, did your gf take you back and has she forgave you?
 
She did take me back with a series of restrictions, and boundaries along with no promises that I'll be around for good. I can't expect more than that and we both agreed that it would be a different set of circumstances if I hadn't lied and hid things. Most betrayed women will forgive the betrayal before they forgive the deceptions. She doesn't forgive me, not yetm Don't be a fool like me. Tell her.
 

Scorpio1990

Active Member
Well, I’m glad to hear because there is hope that she could stick around. I think the restrictions are definitely understandable because it helps you stay away from P. You just gotta prove yourself. I know I definitely want to let my gf know but I can definitely see her hurt. For us I think everything will come in time. The withdrawals and flatline definitely taught me a lesson. I wish I could have been warned because now this is starting to take a toll on my life. I read a lot of success stories and they give me hope.
 
Well, I’m glad to hear because there is hope that she could stick around. I think the restrictions are definitely understandable because it helps you stay away from P. You just gotta prove yourself. I know I definitely want to let my gf know but I can definitely see her hurt. For us I think everything will come in time. The withdrawals and flatline definitely taught me a lesson. I wish I could have been warned because now this is starting to take a toll on my life. I read a lot of success stories and they give me hope.
There is certainly hope but believe me, you want to get in front of it. I know it's not easy to have that conversation but if you love her you'll be honest with her. You're, at this point, lying to her and deceiving her into being with you. You have a problem and you're already working on it by being here, she'll respect you more if you go to her with that than if she has to find out on her own. I understand your reluctance, I just don't want you to make the same mistake as me.
 

Scorpio1990

Active Member
There is certainly hope but believe me, you want to get in front of it. I know it's not easy to have that conversation but if you love her you'll be honest with her. You're, at this point, lying to her and deceiving her into being with you. You have a problem and you're already working on it by being here, she'll respect you more if you go to her with that than if she has to find out on her own. I understand your reluctance, I just don't want you to make the same mistake as me.
I honestly appreciate your support man. My gf at this point is telling me thing are different between us and I’m different. The withdrawals are what has changed me. Plus we have had sex in over a month now. I already feel she’s ready to walk away. So I don’t even think it’s worth telling her my issue at this point.
 
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