Never forget that there is always a way out, even if it seems impossible. I'm speaking from my own experience, I am the "serial relapser", that type of guy who relapsed himself to death and longer streaks seemed accidental. But what I've learned is that quitting this addiction involves (just my findings, this is not a definitive, complete list):
1) A core
This is keeping the dopamine of porn to the lowest possible. It's the way porn addiction actually works, at the most basic level: We feed the addicted beast with the dopamine of porn. How is this dopamine of porn created? By watching porn and thinking about porn. Necessary are zero visual porn used and avoiding to think about porn or engage the porn thoughts and flashbacks/fantasies. <- This, being the core, it's crucial. We could be doing absolutely great in all aspects of our lives but playing too much with the porn from our head will eventually lead us back to watching porn. The same with peaking and "a little bit is not too much to cause damage, I can handle it, I will stop there."
2) What we add on top of the core
Here we can basically include whatever helps us like disrupting the repetitive, habitual and ritualistic nature of the addiction, working out, getting involved in something, socializing more, going back to study, building new habits, changing our lives, keeping the phone away from our room, moving the computer somewhere else, rearranging the structure of our room, meditation, practicing mindfulness etc.
3) Accepting and preparing
Accepting that the quitting process might suck big time. We might need to deal with massive urges, craving porn so much that it makes us feel like a crackhead, feeling of low and craving stimulation, higher anxiety, flatline, trouble sleeping, mood swings, extreme irritability (everything and everybody is getting on your nerves for no reason), -insert here whatever else-. One could experience all of them or some of them. But some seem to be common with all of us. We need to prepare mentally for all this.
4) Giving up things that interfere with quitting porn
This could be temporarily or permanently. Stuff like quitting alcohol, caffeine (in my case), masturbation, maybe even sex. Most of them should be only temporarily, I can't think of something we must completely give up in order to stick to the recovery. Of course there is one: Porn. The joke aside, of course I'm talking at this point about non-porn things that interfere with the recovery. I have to stay away from alcohol (and I have a drinking problem), I have to stay away from caffeine because, for some reason, it makes me have higher urges, I have to stay away from other libido stimulants like ginseng, and I love that thing, it gives me good energy and great mood but at the same time mad urges for porn. I have to stay away from masturbation.
I don't know what else to write. But what I want to say is that there is actually a plan that we can create and make it work. I was hopeless, buried alive, suicidal, with no idea what to do until I figure out those 4 points. Now it's a matter of actually being serious about them and sticking to them. And like that, a serial relapser like me will escape the slavery. You can do it too. It could be accomplished only breaking everything down to the smallest time molecule. Not even one day at a time, but one second at a time. Setting a goal like "I will go the whole April without porn" is great to have but thinking too much about a long streak, when your best is 1 week (not talking about you, just for the sake of example, but I was there), could feel really scary. Like Phineas likes to say: Set it and forget it. (Paraphrasing). Choose the goal (The whole April without porn <- Just an example) and then focus on second by second.
You got this, man!
