Nice job Simon on day 51.
I completely agree with you that to quit this you have to want it with all your heart. Will power WILL get you far, but at the same time, for a decisive victory you have to want it more than even breathing itself. I've always said coming to this forum is a great step and is extremely helpful in your recovery. However, I think many people think that by just coming here they will somehow be magically healed from their porn use - unfortunately it doesn't work that way.
I liken this to marriage counseling, where it's often told that by the time couples go, it's alreadly too late in the game. What often happens is that one of the two will go to marriage counseling just to check it off the list of things they "tried" to do, so when they're asked they can say "Of course I tried to save my marriage". Obviously this isn't always the case, but it happens often enough to make my point. Showing up here to RN isn't enough to quit porn, and can be for some just another way to say either to themselves or their loved ones "See, I tried to quit, but it still didn't work". Thus, they can put the blame on something or someone else but themselves.
The only person who can save us from our own bullshit is ourselves - no one else is coming to the rescue.
No institution like RN can save us, not a religion or God, not even our partners or wives. Yes, all these things can help, but they can only help if we've truly decided to quit - otherwise they're just icing and decoration on a moldy cake that no one wants to eat.
So how do we get there?
I think it's different for all of us.
Some of us get there by utterly destroying everything in our lives until we're at our wit's end and are staring down off the precipice. I would suggest not going this route, because it will destroy everything in your path that is dear to you. I sometimes read the horror stories on RN just for my motivation in case I haven't quite got it drilled in my head how far the rabbit hole some of us are capable of going. Do not go this path!
I think for me personally, it was a little of the above but not too much. I was mostly just sick and tired of looking in the mirror and knowing I wasn't the man I knew I could be. One day I said enough of this shit, I will do what it takes to quit.
What is your reason for quitting? Are you tired of looking at the man in the mirror?
Hopefully this rambling will help a little.
Best