36 months - Will I ever heal ?

Age 26

PMO (porn, masturbation, orgasm) from age 13 - 22.

Month 37 currently and I still have PAWS (post acute withdrawal symptoms).

Other name for PAWS is "protracted withdrawal".

PAWS lasts between 1 - 4 years.

I had PAWS reductions at month 4, 6, 18 and 32.

Current symptoms: Social anxiety, brain fog, anhedonia, fatigue, low energy, low motivation, low libido, no morning wood, weak bladder and urine stream.

No relapse, no sex, no masturbation, no porn, no conscious ejaculation, no alcohol, no drugs, no medication, nothing.

I was mostly unemployed and I'm not working right now. I have mostly received unemployment benefits and currently live off my savings. I don't do anything. I am mostly at home. I lie in my bed more than I sit or stand.

I spend my day mostly watching movies and series. I try to distract myself as much as I can. I have no drive to work or study. I don't even have the motivation to shower or shave. I do it sometimes though, because I feel a little better afterwards.

I don't feel sad but I don't feel happy either. My emotions are turned off. Everything bores me. Everything is the same. I don't feel any excitement or anticipation. If someone gave me 1 million swiss francs, I would feel nothing. There would be no excitement and motivation to do something with this money.

If you don't feel emotions and nothing brings you joy, then you also have no motivation to do anything.

->

These success stories keep me alive. They write:

39 months PAWS - Benzodiazepine

42 months PAWS 1 - Benzodiazepine

42 months PAWS 2 - Benzodiazepine

43 months PAWS - Benzodiazepine

When I reach month 42, I will publish a new post with success stories that lasted up to 48 months.

I have found many success stories between 1 - 3 years and only a few between 3 - 4 years on "benzobuddies".

So I have to get out of PAWS this year. It can't be that PAWS from PMO takes longer than PAWS from benzos. This makes no sense to me as PAWS from benzos is much worse than from PMO.

It seems that I am one of the worst cases.

->

The NoFap sub has 1 million members but only 1-2% know about PAWS.

Symptoms of the flatline: Low libido, feeling asexual, no morning wood, fatigue, low motivation, low mood.

Flatline - NoFap

PAWS, however, includes more symptoms than those of flatline, such as social anxiety or insomnia.

PAWS - Wikipedia

The symptoms that are included in the flatline are included in PAWS. Therefore, it can be said that the flatline is a symptom of PAWS.

Check my 30 months PAWS post and my Reddit profile for more information.
 

Red Moon

Member
Age 26

PMO (porn, masturbation, orgasm) from age 13 - 22.

Month 37 currently and I still have PAWS (post acute withdrawal symptoms).

Other name for PAWS is "protracted withdrawal".

PAWS lasts between 1 - 4 years.

I had PAWS reductions at month 4, 6, 18 and 32.

Current symptoms: Social anxiety, brain fog, anhedonia, fatigue, low energy, low motivation, low libido, no morning wood, weak bladder and urine stream.

No relapse, no sex, no masturbation, no porn, no conscious ejaculation, no alcohol, no drugs, no medication, nothing.

I was mostly unemployed and I'm not working right now. I have mostly received unemployment benefits and currently live off my savings. I don't do anything. I am mostly at home. I lie in my bed more than I sit or stand.

I spend my day mostly watching movies and series. I try to distract myself as much as I can. I have no drive to work or study. I don't even have the motivation to shower or shave. I do it sometimes though, because I feel a little better afterwards.

I don't feel sad but I don't feel happy either. My emotions are turned off. Everything bores me. Everything is the same. I don't feel any excitement or anticipation. If someone gave me 1 million swiss francs, I would feel nothing. There would be no excitement and motivation to do something with this money.

If you don't feel emotions and nothing brings you joy, then you also have no motivation to do anything.

->

These success stories keep me alive. They write:

39 months PAWS - Benzodiazepine

42 months PAWS 1 - Benzodiazepine

42 months PAWS 2 - Benzodiazepine

43 months PAWS - Benzodiazepine

When I reach month 42, I will publish a new post with success stories that lasted up to 48 months.

I have found many success stories between 1 - 3 years and only a few between 3 - 4 years on "benzobuddies".

So I have to get out of PAWS this year. It can't be that PAWS from PMO takes longer than PAWS from benzos. This makes no sense to me as PAWS from benzos is much worse than from PMO.

It seems that I am one of the worst cases.

->

The NoFap sub has 1 million members but only 1-2% know about PAWS.

Symptoms of the flatline: Low libido, feeling asexual, no morning wood, fatigue, low motivation, low mood.

Flatline - NoFap

PAWS, however, includes more symptoms than those of flatline, such as social anxiety or insomnia.

PAWS - Wikipedia

The symptoms that are included in the flatline are included in PAWS. Therefore, it can be said that the flatline is a symptom of PAWS.

Check my 30 months PAWS post and my Reddit profile for more information.
43 months in my case, still have PAWS.

I'm getting the impression that forums are almost useless for cases like ours. Either people don´t believe, understand or fear our predicament.
 

Scorpio1990

Active Member
43 months in my case, still have PAWS.

I'm getting the impression that forums are almost useless for cases like ours. Either people don´t believe, understand or fear our predicament.
I think a lot us with less time look at both your experiences and use it as inspiration or freak out. Honestly I am both but that’s why I am trying to go different routes on recovery and not try to wait it out for so long. I definitely wish you both luck and hope you both recover this year.
 
Age 26

PMO (porn, masturbation, orgasm) from age 13 - 22.

Month 37 currently and I still have PAWS (post acute withdrawal symptoms).

Other name for PAWS is "protracted withdrawal".

PAWS lasts between 1 - 4 years.

I had PAWS reductions at month 4, 6, 18 and 32.

Current symptoms: Social anxiety, brain fog, anhedonia, fatigue, low energy, low motivation, low libido, no morning wood, weak bladder and urine stream.

No relapse, no sex, no masturbation, no porn, no conscious ejaculation, no alcohol, no drugs, no medication, nothing.

I was mostly unemployed and I'm not working right now. I have mostly received unemployment benefits and currently live off my savings. I don't do anything. I am mostly at home. I lie in my bed more than I sit or stand.

I spend my day mostly watching movies and series. I try to distract myself as much as I can. I have no drive to work or study. I don't even have the motivation to shower or shave. I do it sometimes though, because I feel a little better afterwards.

I don't feel sad but I don't feel happy either. My emotions are turned off. Everything bores me. Everything is the same. I don't feel any excitement or anticipation. If someone gave me 1 million swiss francs, I would feel nothing. There would be no excitement and motivation to do something with this money.

If you don't feel emotions and nothing brings you joy, then you also have no motivation to do anything.

->

These success stories keep me alive. They write:

39 months PAWS - Benzodiazepine

42 months PAWS 1 - Benzodiazepine

42 months PAWS 2 - Benzodiazepine

43 months PAWS - Benzodiazepine

When I reach month 42, I will publish a new post with success stories that lasted up to 48 months.

I have found many success stories between 1 - 3 years and only a few between 3 - 4 years on "benzobuddies".

So I have to get out of PAWS this year. It can't be that PAWS from PMO takes longer than PAWS from benzos. This makes no sense to me as PAWS from benzos is much worse than from PMO.

It seems that I am one of the worst cases.

->

The NoFap sub has 1 million members but only 1-2% know about PAWS.

Symptoms of the flatline: Low libido, feeling asexual, no morning wood, fatigue, low motivation, low mood.

Flatline - NoFap

PAWS, however, includes more symptoms than those of flatline, such as social anxiety or insomnia.

PAWS - Wikipedia

The symptoms that are included in the flatline are included in PAWS. Therefore, it can be said that the flatline is a symptom of PAWS.

Check my 30 months PAWS post and my Reddit profile for more information.
Have you spoken to a doctor?
 
43 months in my case, still have PAWS.

I'm getting the impression that forums are almost useless for cases like ours. Either people don´t believe, understand or fear our predicament.

I think you regret that you had 31 conscious ejaculations in those 43 months.

You may not like to hear it but I think that has set you back a bit.

When you mention that you have 43 months of PAWS, you should also mention that you had 31 conscious ejaculations.

On "benzobuddies" you will find people who understand us. They even have a section for "protracted withdrawal".

I believe that these are the reasons why it takes so long:

- I started with PMO when I was 13.

- I did PMO as a coping mechanism.
 

Red Moon

Member
I think you regret that you had 31 conscious ejaculations in those 43 months.

You may not like to hear it but I think that has set you back a bit.

When you mention that you have 43 months of PAWS, you should also mention that you had 31 conscious ejaculations.

On "benzobuddies" you will find people who understand us. They even have a section for "protracted withdrawal".

I believe that these are the reasons why it takes so long:

- I started with PMO when I was 13.

- I did PMO as a coping mechanism.
That's not the point.

If my relapses give you some kind of comfort or hope for your own case, fine by me. When you reach 43 months of PAWS, please do tell me about your 0 relapses. Then we will both know that you still have PAWS for 43 months with no relapses.

Or perhaps you already know that in 6 months you will be fully rebooted. By your math.
 
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Scorpio1990

Active Member
That's not the point.

If my relapses give you some kind of comfort or hope for your own case, fine by me. When you reach 43 months of PAWS, please do tell me about your 0 relapses. Then we will both know that you still have PAWS for 43 months with no relapses.

Or perhaps you already know that in 6 months you will be fully rebooted. By your math.
Regardless you both should support each other. We’re all pretty much screwed so it doesn’t matter if you relapse or not. Just heal
 
That's not the point.

If my relapses give you some kind of comfort or hope for your own case, fine by me. When you reach 43 months of PAWS, please do tell me about your 0 relapses. Then we will both know that you still have PAWS for 43 months with no relapses.

Or perhaps you already know that in 6 months you will be fully rebooted. By your math.

Yes it does. Because I am a bit afraid when someone says that he is at month 43 (without mentioning that he had 31 relapses) and has not been cured yet.

Otherwise, tomorrow there will be another person who says that he has been in PAWS for 6 years, but doesn't mention that he had 100 relapses.

You know it by yourself that relapses can delay healing.

I hope that I will be cured in 6 months.

PS: This was not a personal attack. I did not mean for this to come across that way. That's how I see these things.
 

LionHeart

Member
I assume you have tested your blood? Total testo, free testo, globulin, vitamin D and lutenizing hormone? And those are ok?

My LH and testo are fluctuating and that means there are some problems in my pituitary gland and/or hypothalamus. LH tells testicles to produce testo but i believe it alone also affects libido and erections. Women have fluctuating LH, being highest just before and during ovulation. And that is the time when women are crazy horny :) but for men LH should not fluctuate.

Reference values for LH in men is 2.5-8. my lowest was 0.9 and highest 2.0. Total testo for men should be something between 10 and 38 my testo fluctuates from 11 to 17. This makes me fall into apathy. I'm annoyed all the time. Not interrested in anything. No proper joy in my life. But every couple of months i feel energetic, joyful and motivated. I talk to people with crazy good confidence. I laugh with them, they laugh with me, i keep an eye contact. I have good libido, good solid erection and i feel horny. But then... *Poof* it's all gone in just a matter of hours. I might feel like a king when i wake up in the morning and that feeling might last till the evening and then suddenly it just fades away and drags me back into the dark abyss of squeamishness and no libido.
 
I assume you have tested your blood? Total testo, free testo, globulin, vitamin D and lutenizing hormone? And those are ok?

My LH and testo are fluctuating and that means there are some problems in my pituitary gland and/or hypothalamus. LH tells testicles to produce testo but i believe it alone also affects libido and erections. Women have fluctuating LH, being highest just before and during ovulation. And that is the time when women are crazy horny :) but for men LH should not fluctuate.

Reference values for LH in men is 2.5-8. my lowest was 0.9 and highest 2.0. Total testo for men should be something between 10 and 38 my testo fluctuates from 11 to 17. This makes me fall into apathy. I'm annoyed all the time. Not interrested in anything. No proper joy in my life. But every couple of months i feel energetic, joyful and motivated. I talk to people with crazy good confidence. I laugh with them, they laugh with me, i keep an eye contact. I have good libido, good solid erection and i feel horny. But then... *Poof* it's all gone in just a matter of hours. I might feel like a king when i wake up in the morning and that feeling might last till the evening and then suddenly it just fades away and drags me back into the dark abyss of squeamishness and no libido.

Everything is ok. It's just flatline / PAWS.
 
Does your penis increase in size to normal during the recovery period? Is there a "penis revival"?

I don't think it is normal size. It looks small, old, numb and dead. Absolutely no morning woods and no sexual drive. No libido.

Revival ? I am on hardmode, so I will not try anything.
 

Androg

Administrator
Admin
Moderator
Don't be silly.

Sounds like he needs to rewire to real partners. He may also want to read recovery accounts of actual users for inspiration.
 
Don't be silly.

Sounds like he needs to rewire to real partners. He may also want to read recovery accounts of actual users for inspiration.

I don't believe in rewiring. I think this will delay my healing. Rewiring is a false theory.

You may feel better temporary because you get your dopamine from sex and sexual things but it's nothing for the long run.
 
No, he needs to get out of the flatline. Then he will GAIN the DESIRE to socialize.

Don't be silly.

I agree. Most people on this site believe in this nonsense called "rewiring".

Having no libido is the least of my problems. I mainly just want the other symptoms like brain fog, anhedonia and fatigue to go away.

Many here are so obsessed with their libido.
 
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