Finally sick and tired of being sick and tired

FreedomFromTheStruggle_11

Well-Known Member
Day 17. Mind is super clear. Feeling just really calm which is great. No MW, but I did get randomly hard earlier so I feel like I'm definitely improving a lot with that. Had urges to pmo last night, but I stayed on task of what I was doing and the urge eventually left. Yes, it felt uncomfortable at times but I'm the only one who can give it the power to take me under the water. Glad I didn't. Really proud of myself for this reboot in particular. I've seen some stuff that triggered me by accident a few times, but I've kept going and didn't let the worry and anxiety of that ruin my progress by causing a relapse. Usually, I would have gotten in my head about those things and would have eventually relapsed so it's huge that I didn't. Also, it's amazing how anxious pmo makes you. Usually I'm really anxious and I worry a lot. But today I'm calm, not anxious and my worries are very very weak. It took me a bit longer to get these benefits than it usually does, I think the first 2 weeks was my flatline period. Thankful to be out of that...or I seem to be. Have a great day, everyone.
 

FreedomFromTheStruggle_11

Well-Known Member
20 days without watching porn or going to a porn site. I'm so proud of myself. Especially this time. I definitely feel so much better. Also, not worrying about hard mode anymore. If I achieve that someday for a long period of time, great. If not, then that's fine too. Porn is the problem. Porn is the destructive variable we are all trying to fight.
Looking forward to these next 10 days. Thank you all for your support.
 

FreedomFromTheStruggle_11

Well-Known Member
Not sure what day I'm on. I only know that I'm close to 1 month of no porn. This isn't hard mode, but I plan on picking that up again beginning today. Today has been my best day mentally since I began. My mind is crystal clear. No anxiety, no worries, no overthinking/analyzing and no intrusive thoughts. It's amazing how removing only one thing from your life can change so much and bring so many positive benefits. My confidence is also better. I feel like my most authentic self now. It's only gonna get better and I look forward to it.
 

FreedomFromTheStruggle_11

Well-Known Member
Music sounds amazing now. I don't know why, or how but it's amazing. Anyone else experience this? Day 20something. So close to a month porn free. Last night, I couldn't sleep and my mind went towards the old habit and I immediately took action and said "no we aren't going there I'm going to sleep." It was easier than ever to deal with those situations. Anxiety is super low. Very strong feeling of wellbeing and peace mentally and emotionally. This is so worth it.
 

FreedomFromTheStruggle_11

Well-Known Member
Day 30. No porn.
Benefits: Mental clarity, better sleep, higher sense of well-being, morning wood, easier to get aroused with minimal fantasy. Just thinking of a girl I like can make me almost 100% hard in 30 seconds - 1 minute. Before quitting porn, it took forever to just get the slightest bit hard. I wake up with a clear mind. Gonna stop counting days now. This is now my new life and my new lifestyle. I may count every month, but not every day. Also on day 2 of retention. I truly feel better. I'm so happy. Thank you so much everyone who has continued to support me through all of my many many.....many relapses over the last year or so. So happy to finally have a good streak. Ready to achieve even more in the months to come. Huge thank you to @Gabe Deem I first saw Gabe and his videos a few years ago. I still go and watch his YouTube videos today. His success and journey inspires me so much. Thank you for all you do, Gabe. Love y'all.
 
Last edited:

FreedomFromTheStruggle_11

Well-Known Member
Day 41 porn free. Last night I was able to get 50% - 60% hard without any fantasy at all. Progress is definitely being made. Woke up this morning with so much energy. I also sense my tastes changing. What used to interest me when I would watch porn is no longer something I think about or really want. Last night, I saw a picture of Reese Witherspoon, my lifelong crush, and I didn't stare at her picture forever. I just kept scrolling along. She was just a person to me, no longer an object of my fantasy. I still think she's beautiful of course, but in a very normal and healthy way. My confidence is also getting so much better. I am now taking stock of my friendships and cutting off the deadweight ones that only use me. I deserve better than that. These last 41 days, have been absolutely amazing. Goal now is to just continue on. Gonna keep working out daily, seeing Reese witherspoon as a person. Lol. And work on not testing myself as much so I can heal more. Mentally I'm better than I've been in such a long time. Have an amazing day.
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Last night, I saw a picture of Reese Witherspoon, my lifelong crush, and I didn't stare at her picture forever. I just kept scrolling along.
Thank you @FreedomFromTheStruggle_11 for just making my day. I don't know why, but when I read that, I just fucking lost it in laughter! A real LOL moment.

Props to you man, and props to your crush, you have good taste. :cool:

Keep killing it.
 

FreedomFromTheStruggle_11

Well-Known Member
Something I've noticed recently, when I MO without porn it's like I go into a mini flatline. Morning wood goes away and a bit of anxiety creeps back in. Also, it shrinks down again. I'm not sure if any of you have also experienced this, but I've definitely noticed it more. Takes about a week or two to get things back to 100%.
 

GBS

Respected Member
Hi @FreedomFromTheStruggle_11 - the post MO recovery issue I think is totally normal. However my (scratched record) response is this: try to avoid MO. See if you can do something close to a month. Those neural pathways don’t get used if you abstain completely but they do if you MO. If you’re in this for the long haul, then accept there’s probably a load of damage you did to your brain. You ain’t fixing that fast. To get back to factory settings (literal reboot) where in the penis world you are trying to see what it was like before you used to masturbate - when you were about 14, right? - you have to see how you cope with abstinence. I went through what you’re going through and I promise you the post MO recovery gets way way better. But you have to give the hand shandy a miss for a while.
 

FreedomFromTheStruggle_11

Well-Known Member
Hi @FreedomFromTheStruggle_11 - the post MO recovery issue I think is totally normal. However my (scratched record) response is this: try to avoid MO. See if you can do something close to a month. Those neural pathways don’t get used if you abstain completely but they do if you MO. If you’re in this for the long haul, then accept there’s probably a load of damage you did to your brain. You ain’t fixing that fast. To get back to factory settings (literal reboot) where in the penis world you are trying to see what it was like before you used to masturbate - when you were about 14, right? - you have to see how you cope with abstinence. I went through what you’re going through and I promise you the post MO recovery gets way way better. But you have to give the hand shandy a miss for a while.
Thanks for this!!
 

FreedomFromTheStruggle_11

Well-Known Member
Getting close to 50 days porn free. I feel better in my head. My anxiety is low and my stress level has gone down significantly. It also seems, that my premature ejaculation has gone away. I'm not sure if that's true, but it seems that way. However, I want to stop MOing. Frankly it's not that fun anymore without porn. I just do it to test my progress. It feels good for a few minutes, but I'm still alone at the end. I also feel like I go into a small flatline afterwards. I've read so many accounts on YBOP.com and also on here. Just today, @GBS Inspired me to also want to go on hard mode. So I guess today is day 1 of no MO. Thank you all for your help and support. Hopefully one day, I can help someone else on here the way all of you have helped me.
 
Top