To The Better Things in Life

TealCactus

Member
Day 9 of 30

still going strong! Went to the gym again today and had a good relaxing Saturday with my wife and dog.

On a sidenote: I have to say, meditation has been a game changer, especially on weekdays (I have yet to get around to it on the weekend). Nothing puts me in a better mood than a 10-minute youtube meditation.
 

TealCactus

Member
Day 10 of 30

still going strong. I don’t have much more to add then that. I’m proud of myself and I’m motivated to keep going. Thanks to everyone who follows along. It’s surprising to me how encouraging just a couple likes on an Internet forum can be, just to someone is out there reading these.
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Rock on @TealCactus!
Thanks to everyone who follows along. It’s surprising to me how encouraging just a couple likes on an Internet forum can be, just to someone is out there reading these.
Yes, this place is great for all the encouragement that can be found. It really helps, especially when you're feeling the temptation.

Best!
 

TealCactus

Member
Day 11 of 30

Mondays are never super fun but todays going well. I did feel pretty tempted to watch porn this morning but I was able to be mindful of my thoughts and push them away. I’m tired and it’s gloomy out but I’m going to stick with being intentional about taking breaks and meditating or going for walks.
 

TealCactus

Member
Day 0 of 30 / Day 12 of 30

Im sad to say I relapsed today. I think of it as a sidetrack rather than a reset though. The reality is May is still looking to be the best month I’ve had in a year, and I’m still super motivated to keep going. I told my wife right after, so I’m really happy with my honesty. I had a really bad morning (my dog hid under the bed and made me late to work cus I couldn’t get him to daycare… smh buddy). And then I didn’t post here in the morning like I usually do, and I didn’t meditate. All in all it was a really testing day, and even though I failed today, I feel ready to succeed tomorrow. I only watched porn for about 20 minutes, which I’m proud of because my relapses are usually binges that last 1-3 hours.
 

Androg

Administrator
Admin
Moderator
Good job not bingeing. Just know that your control may be a little rocky for a bit. Be on guard. And next time...no porn. :cool:
 

TealCactus

Member
Day 1 of 30

resetting the clock today and especially focusing on making sure I finish out May without any relapses. I went to the gym last night even though I didn’t feel like it, which is just always good for mental fortitude (and physical of course). I’ve been managing to get up earlier in the mornings too which helps me get a better start to the day. I also have therapy today for the first time in a couple weeks so it’ll be good to catch up with my therapist.
 

TealCactus

Member
Day 2 of 30

off to have a good day today! I’ve had a busy day today which has been good to just distract me. I’ll also be out of town for a wedding this weekend which will give me even more distractions which is good for keeping me on track. I had therapy yesterday, and we mostly talked about making sure I’m honest with my wife if I do relapse again, since that’s been an issue in the past. On the other side of things, I’m just going to keep doing what I’m doing. Journaling on here, exercising about every other day, and meditating most mornings.
 

TealCactus

Member
Day 4 of 30

I’ve got a super busy weekend, so I forgot to post yesterday, but everything is going well. I was actually feeling pretty tempted to look at porn just now but I decided to post here instead. If I forget to post the next couple days I’ll for sure be back on Tuesday.
 

TealCactus

Member
Day 0 of 30

I was excited to come back and say Day 7 of 30 but I relapsed this morning before I posted here. I’m still only at 2 times in May, and I plan to keep it there. My routine was thrown off being gone over the weekend but I need to be better at adapting, especially because I have a week long work trip in a couple weeks, which historically can be tempting for me. That said, I’m excited to get back to posting here, meditating, and working out.
 

TealCactus

Member
Day 1 of 30

another fresh start today. I went to the gym yesterday after work, I meditated this morning, and I already fought off a pretty strong temptation to watch porn. I ended up watching Batman Beyond instead, ya gotta do what ya gotta do. I’m really struggling to focus at work today which is often a big trigger for porn, but I’m just rolling with the punches and accepting that I just won’t get much done today, as long as I also stay strong and don’t watch porn. I have therapy later today too so I’ve got some good momentum going. Here’s to finishing out May without another relapse, which will be my best month in over a year.
 

TealCactus

Member
Day 2 of 30

Doing well today. I woke up at 5 this morning and went to the gym and got to work around 7, so I started off with a good day. I’m pretty stressed this morning just cus my wife was calling me complaining about our annoying dog (he’s cute but he’s got some issues). That said, I’m going to meditate after this and clear my head. I’m transitioning to a new team at work so a lot of my responsibilities get to be dropped soon, so I have some flexibility to drop the ball a bit this week. I love hard work but until I beat porn, sometimes it’s just not sustainable. There’s a balance of course, but I tend to lean towards overworking myself which leads to stress which leads to porn. I’m going to try to take some walks today as well.
 

TealCactus

Member
Day 4 of 30

still doing well, I didn’t post yesterday cus I was having a really lazy, depressed day, but I’m proud to have made it through regardless. Todays also been a great day. It’s super nice outside and I’ve been going to the gym every other day lately. It’s definitely becoming an obsession but obviously a much healthier obsession than porn, so I’m pretty happy about it.
 

TealCactus

Member
Day 6 of 30

still going strong. I started a push/pull/legs split at the gym so I can go more frequently, I was just getting into stuff doing full body workouts but I want to spend more time in the gym. I’ve been loving going at 5 in the morning before work. I did it a couple times last week and again today and it’s just a great start to the day. I take my dog out, go to the gym, shower at work, start work around 7, get home before 4 and have the whole night to chill. It’s also beautiful outside in Wisconsin lately. I’m a little anxious about work this week just cus next week is a trip and it’s my last week on this team (lots of just handoff stuff), but I think once I get a couple main things done today and tomorrow the rest of the week will feel easy.
 

TealCactus

Member
Day 7 of 30

another week down! I’m really trying to maintain a mental attitude where I’ve conquered my porn addiction. Even though I’ve had recent relapses, I feel much more in control lately. That said it’s still an addiction and I know how easily it can flare up if I leave it unchecked. Posting here is so key for reminding myself everyday to think about how I don’t want to watch porn. Otherwise it’ll just pop into my thoughts and I’ll be in a dangerous spot. I highly recommend meditation too, it’s really helped my self awareness.
 

TealCactus

Member
Day 8 of 30

went to the gym yesterday again and I have therapy today after work. I have a couple things I really need to prepare for in the coming weeks though. My work trip next week will be difficult, because I’ve always relapsed on them in the past. Then after that I move to my own office at work, which has always been tempting in the past. I’m not sure how to prepare for these but I’ll talk to my therapist about it today. Any suggestions are welcome!
 

TealCactus

Member
Day 2 of 30

I put off posting on here the last couple days cus I’ve been really down after relapsing on Wednesday. It was with a subsitute, but I count it as a fail regardless and it certainly doesn’t feel much better. That said, I did start to look at another subsitute today and then I managed to stop myself before getting too involved. I guess that could be considered a fail too, but I’m proud I got myself to stop and I want to encourage myself to have a mentality of not giving up, cus oftentimes I give up for an entire day if I failed for even a second.
 
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