Road to freedom

cookiemonster

Active Member
Day 88 clean.

I let myself down quite often in little ways. I have big ambitions but still struggle to control my mind. I eat too much sugar and let my focus be stolen away by games, social media and my phone. I'm working on these.

I have made it 88 days without looking at PMO and MO. I'm proud of myself.

The goal for today is another porn-free day. No porn, no p-subs, no engaging in activities which activate the porn pathways. I will not touch my dick unless peeing.

I had morning wood again this morning.

I'm a little emotionally depleted right now and sad.

From here on out let's keep making the right decisions more often than not and improving my life.

Porn is insidious. I'm still not free from its clutches but every day is a step in the right direction. Got to beat the other vices in my life too.

See you tonight or tomorrow, keep me accountable.
 

Androg

Administrator
Admin
Moderator
Welcome to being human. Mastering those powerful mammalian appetites is a challenge for us all. Be pleased with your porn progress, and keep chipping away at the others. You're doing great.
 

cookiemonster

Active Member
Day 89 clean.

Partied all night last night and had some attention from girls. Importantly I had fun and enjoyed the social event, and meeting new people.

I was flirting with a girl and she showed me some graphic manga she reads. We also played a game as a group where you have a random photo from your camera roll shared and a guy had a porn photo shared from his. All good fun.

All of this, plus no action, plus alcohol, plus lack of sleep could have been quite triggering.

It wasn't though. I was way more interested in the people there and attracted to the real girls.

Fuck porn.

Rest day today. Just don't play with my dick or look at pornographic content finishing off this evening and we'll be good.
 

swimmer97

Active Member
Day 89 clean.

Partied all night last night and had some attention from girls. Importantly I had fun and enjoyed the social event, and meeting new people.

I was flirting with a girl and she showed me some graphic manga she reads. We also played a game as a group where you have a random photo from your camera roll shared and a guy had a porn photo shared from his. All good fun.

All of this, plus no action, plus alcohol, plus lack of sleep could have been quite triggering.

It wasn't though. I was way more interested in the people there and attracted to the real girls.

Fuck porn.

Rest day today. Just don't play with my dick or look at pornographic content finishing off this evening and we'll be good.
Sounds great mate, keep killing 💪
 

cookiemonster

Active Member
I think I'm going to start another counter for overcoming social media and phone game distractions. I can start tomorrow by simply saying phone games and youtube are banned and using them at all is a "relapse". The problem with things like youtube and social media is sometimes there is a legitimate reason to use them like messaging or intentional consuming of content. Anyway, I'm just thinking I'll start taking overcoming distractions more seriously. The easiest one to beat is games on my phone because there is never any real legitimate reason to use them when I'm being honest about things.

See you tomorrow morning. Don't play with dick going to sleep. Just have to get through this evening, not forever.
 

cookiemonster

Active Member
Day 90 clean.

Morning wood again this morning. I thought about playing with my dick in the shower but decided against it because I couldn't be bothered hahah. That's a big improvement on the compulsive porn use from 3 months ago.

I'm adding a new day counter to implement more positive habits in other areas of my life. That starts today by aiming to not play games on my phone. The goal is to just get through today, then maybe we can set longer and longer targets. I'm hoping these habits will be much easier to kick than a pornography addiction. I suspect they will be easier because I'm not as much of an addict and more of a compulsive user. I'm not exactly sure what the difference is but I hope you get the point. I have many things I would like to introduce into my life: healthier eating, meditation, a more regular sleep schedule, very little social media use and phone use, stretching each day and some more significant long-term goal alignment by working on the business ambitions I have.

For now we'll start by just trying to make it through one day without playing games on my phone. Achievable!

The main thing is still to stay porn-free so my focus will still be on that. But it's also time to make use of some of the freedom I'm creating to improve other aspects of my life too.

So the goal today is a porn-free day. No porn, no p-subs, no fantasy. I won't touch my dick unless peeing. And most importantly no blowing shit up just out of curiosity or because I can. The goal is also to make it through one day without playing games on my phone.

See you tomorrow or tonight to keep me accountable.

Day 0 no games on phone.
 
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cookiemonster

Active Member
Day 91 clean. 13 weeks clean.

Business as usual today. The goal is a porn-free day. No porn, no p-subs, no playing with dick. I had morning wood again this morning. Infinite morning woods at this point.

Feeling a lot of positive momentum and I'm excited that I now am adding the cultivation of more positive habits into my agenda.

Today I aim to not play games on my phone at all and to not use YouTube at all. One bad app/habit at a time haha.

Fuck porn and fuck the industries that hold us back from our potential.

See you tomorrow or tonight to keep me accountable. I mustn't get cocky.


Day 1 No games and no YouTube
 
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Blondie

Respected Member
Day 91 clean. 12 weeks clean.

Business as usual today. The goal is a porn-free day. No porn, no p-subs, no playing with dick. I had morning wood again this morning. Infinite morning woods at this point.

Feeling a lot of positive momentum and I'm excited that I now am adding the cultivation of more positive habits into my agenda.

Today I aim to not play games on my phone at all and to not use YouTube at all. One bad app/habit at a time haha.

Fuck porn and fuck the industries that hold us back from our potential.

See you tomorrow or tonight to keep me accountable. I mustn't get cocky.


Day 1 No games and no YouTube
Congrats @cookiemonster on three months, I didn't see that yesterday!
 

Trisquel

Active Member
Lonely and sad tonight.

I guess business as usual. This too shall pass.

Don't fuck shit up. Go to bed and read and journal. Don't masturbate. Only have to get through today, it won't be like this forever.
You are right! It won't be like this forever
Is just a temporary state, it comes and goes, and this feeling right now doesn't mean tomorrow will be the same.

I often have depressive mood, specially at night z when I'm tired after a long day (that influences you a lot, tiredness).
But is okay to be like that, there's nothing really wrong with it and it passes away rather quickly.

I'm improving day by day on not engaging with this moods, in accepting them and letting them pass, without loosing focus on my life.

Nothing you don't know.

Take care!
 

cookiemonster

Active Member
Day 92 clean.

Pretty sure I had morning wood again and then went back to sleep.

Business as usual. The goal is a porn-free, p-sub free day. I won't touch my dick unless peeing.

I feel better this morning.

I did well yesterday with my goal of staying off YouTube and games. I didn't play games on my phone at all but I did watch one single YouTube video at the end of the day. Overall, a success. My time spent on other social media apps went up slightly so I was compensating for taking YouTube away but my total time was still decreased. Today the goal is no YouTube, no Facebook, no Instagram. If I spend like 5 minutes on them once my work day is over then that's a success. But during the work day, zero tolerance policy.

No phone games at all is the goal. That's an easy hard line.

Anyway, got to make sure my reboot keeps going well because that's the precursor to success everywhere else.

See you tomorrow or tonight.


No phone games at all. No YouTube at all. No Facebook or Instagram at all during the day, but 5 minutes after the work day is potentially acceptable.
 

cookiemonster

Active Member
You are right! It won't be like this forever
Is just a temporary state, it comes and goes, and this feeling right now doesn't mean tomorrow will be the same.

I often have depressive mood, specially at night z when I'm tired after a long day (that influences you a lot, tiredness).
But is okay to be like that, there's nothing really wrong with it and it passes away rather quickly.

I'm improving day by day on not engaging with this moods, in accepting them and letting them pass, without loosing focus on my life.

Nothing you don't know.

Take care!
Thanks for the support Trisquel
 

Ezel

Respected Member
Day 92 clean.

Pretty sure I had morning wood again and then went back to sleep.

Business as usual. The goal is a porn-free, p-sub free day. I won't touch my dick unless peeing.

I feel better this morning.

I did well yesterday with my goal of staying off YouTube and games. I didn't play games on my phone at all but I did watch one single YouTube video at the end of the day. Overall, a success. My time spent on other social media apps went up slightly so I was compensating for taking YouTube away but my total time was still decreased. Today the goal is no YouTube, no Facebook, no Instagram. If I spend like 5 minutes on them once my work day is over then that's a success. But during the work day, zero tolerance policy.

No phone games at all is the goal. That's an easy hard line.

Anyway, got to make sure my reboot keeps going well because that's the precursor to success everywhere else.

See you tomorrow or tonight.


No phone games at all. No YouTube at all. No Facebook or Instagram at all during the day, but 5 minutes after the work day is potentially acceptable.
Man it's crazy. I noticed lately that our relapses always start with social media. Sometimes if you were in a low mental state as you scroll through social media and you see some triggering content without intentionally looking for it, it's like fire meeting gazoline that shyt could blow up at any second.
Moderation is key, and trying to not use your phone while not in the mood.
Congratulations on 3 months of freedom Monster. Outstanding performance.
Keep it up champ.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Man it's crazy. I noticed lately that our relapses always start with social media. Sometimes if you were in a low mental state as you scroll through social media and you see some triggering content without intentionally looking for it, it's like fire meeting gazoline that shyt could blow up at any second.
Moderation is key, and trying to not use your phone while not in the mood.
Congratulations on 3 months of freedom Monster. Outstanding performance.
Keep it up champ.
Definitely. Social media is porn in disguise, right in front of us. I'm glad I don't use it almost at all however this is where I go sometimes to "warm up" for a porn session, because I let my porn addicted brain to convince me that "I'm not there yet, this is not bad enough yet." Yeah sure...
 

cookiemonster

Active Member
Day 93 clean.

I haven't been at this level of performance and energy in years. Don't get me wrong, I'm not feeling like superman or anything, but I just don't feel exhausted moving from task to task throughout the day. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I'm actually giving my mind a small rest in between activities instead of stimulating it by playing around on my phone.

I'm sexual limbo where I'm fairly certain I have no PIED problems anymore and feel ready to be intimate with the right girl when she comes along but yet nothing is happening. I'll come back and quote this post in a month or two when the "sexual awakening" occurs hahaha. It will come. And boy oh boy am I going to be happy with myself when I find myself in an intimate moment with a girl and I know I have MONTHS of being clean under my belt. It will feel great to learn what real intimacy is like without porn colouring my thoughts, and also without any performance anxiety!

The goal for today is the same as always. The goal is to have a porn-free day and a porn substitute free day. I won't touch my dick unless peeing.

Yesterday was a success, I spent very little time on social media and didn't play any games on my phone. Although, it blew my mind that the innocuous 5 minutes or so I spent on social media was full of triggering content. For example, I was trying to find a specific video on YouTube to share with a friend and an interview clip of an adult performer I once watched was right there, completely unrelated to my search. On my instagram news feed there's softcore pornographic material coming from girls I know in real life, like wtf. It's everywhere!

Definitely. Social media is porn in disguise, right in front of us. I'm glad I don't use it almost at all however this is where I go sometimes to "warm up" for a porn session, because I let my porn addicted brain to convince me that "I'm not there yet, this is not bad enough yet." Yeah sure...
I used to do the exact same thing.
Man it's crazy. I noticed lately that our relapses always start with social media. Sometimes if you were in a low mental state as you scroll through social media and you see some triggering content without intentionally looking for it, it's like fire meeting gazoline that shyt could blow up at any second.
Moderation is key, and trying to not use your phone while not in the mood.
Congratulations on 3 months of freedom Monster. Outstanding performance.
Keep it up champ.
Yep. Or you're in a low mood so you just go to social media to pacify yourself and deep-down know there will eventually be a trigger - there always is. Then you just fly past all of your mental fortifications fast, before you have time to think. Sorry to hear about your recent relapse but as everyone has been saying, you've been healing significantly and as long as you don't binge it will just become a small blip on a much larger trend of healing. Thanks for the encouragement.

Fuuuuucccckkkk porn man. Seriously, the more time I spend away from it the more I hate it. Now that I'm starting to heal and not constantly feeling urges to use it, I'm like, when was the last time I was a free man? When I was fucking 13? I don't want to go back. I mean, if anything it's probably just saved me an extra hour each day, like a month of work days each year!

Alright. No porn. No p-subs. No social media until after the work day and then keep it to only a few minutes. No phone games at all, they are to be excommunicated.

Let's fucking go!
 

cookiemonster

Active Member
Day 94 clean.

Yesterday we mainly achieved our objectives. I stayed focussed all throughout the work day but did get sucked into scrolling through Facebook for too long at the end of the day. Overall a really good day.

This morning I already got sucked into scrolling through facebook. I recognise that I'm not so much to blame. I had a hard time sleeping last night and woke up tired, when I'm tired these things happen a lot easier. I've actually just decided that after writing this I'm going to go rest my eyes for 20 minutes.

The goal for today is a porn-free day and a porn substitute free day. I've already seen some triggering content on facebook unfortunately, that's why I just need to stay off social media. I won't touch my dick today unless peeing.

The goal is to not play on games on my phone at all. Games on the phone truly bring me nothing, they're like porn, just a sink of time, energy and life-force. The goal for today from here on out is to not use YouTube, instagram, facebook at all during the work day. This evening I will uninstall facebook. Another goal is to set a 5 minute timer at the end of the day when I "check in" and make sure my social media use doesn't exceed this time. There's no real reason to be there longer.

Alright, that's it for today.

This reboot is really making me realise the power of accumulated daily efforts.

Got to keep beating porn, looking after my wellbeing and improving my life. No point in self-sabotaging, things are going really well, let's keep it that way.

See you tomorrow or tonight to keep me accountable.


Objectives today:
No games on phone at all.
No facebook, instagram, youtube at all during the work day. Then in the evening only 5 minutes.
Meditate/rest eyes for 10 minutes after lunch.
 
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