Recent content by kadeshzelbriel

  1. kadeshzelbriel

    Hell's cowboy - riding the bucking bronco into sexual freedom

    I feel like if we just had a good fuck id feel a lot more nonchalant about this tension, but I also want to acknowledge for myself that I want more sexual connection with her than an occasional fuck, I want to feel like energy in our connection more, I want her to flirt with me, I want her to...
  2. kadeshzelbriel

    Hell's cowboy - riding the bucking bronco into sexual freedom

    Just a quick note. I'm at a day 0 over here, in a relapse period. I'm still running and I'm trying on a little vegan phase. I'm in some creativity..things aren't all lost. Maybe the recent return of the damn pornbrain is at work here to some extent. I'm feeling frustrated with my partner. I'm...
  3. kadeshzelbriel

    Hell's cowboy - riding the bucking bronco into sexual freedom

    Day 30. Actual rest day today, no running or walking. I was sore as hell yesterday, needed an Epsom salt bath and 2-3 stretching breaks throughout the day. I'll start the cycle back up tomorrow...1.5, 2.5, then 3.5 miles.
  4. kadeshzelbriel

    Let's start with 3 weeks, boys !

    What up what up, how's it hitting on day 29?? Sharing with people you're close to is essential...otherwise the shame builds up and locks the whole neurosis in place.
  5. kadeshzelbriel

    Hell's cowboy - riding the bucking bronco into sexual freedom

    Day 29. Ran 3.5 miles yesterday, had a fantastic eve with the lady, and we had a very sexy connection time, which sealed the deal for me, I'm a believer. I'm responsible for my own sexual energy, and the strength and assertiveness and independence and drive and fire that derive from within. If...
  6. kadeshzelbriel

    Hell's cowboy - riding the bucking bronco into sexual freedom

    Day 27. 2.5 or 3 miles this morning.
  7. kadeshzelbriel

    Hell's cowboy - riding the bucking bronco into sexual freedom

    Day 26. Many of my best friends from high school were in town this week, and we hung out a lot. It was a highly inspiring and reinvigorating experience. 1) one of my friends has been vegan for a few years and runs 60 miles a week. I'm extremely impressed and feel like I absorbed some serious...
  8. kadeshzelbriel

    28 And Done With Porn

    How you doin
  9. kadeshzelbriel

    Starting over

    Failure is part of the process. Stay with it. Know the purpose. The return of your sincere intention is more important than anything. "Come, lovers of leaving. Though you have broken your vows 1000 times, come. Ours is no caravan of despair"
  10. kadeshzelbriel

    Hell's cowboy - riding the bucking bronco into sexual freedom

    Alright my babes, I'ma check back in. You know how the story goes. I knew on some level it was just a matter of time before I wrote this post. A and I kept dating. She moved in right at the start of quarantine. All sexual energy instantly bottomed out and never really came back. After a few...
  11. kadeshzelbriel

    Website down a lot lately?

    Is everyone else experiencing this? Any update as to what's going on?
  12. kadeshzelbriel

    Shadow Integration Method (versus willpower method)

    Hey all, Do you relapse again and again? As time goes on in your recovery, do you feel more powerless? Has relapse become an incredibly frustrating and shameful event? Following up on some conversations in the journals, I've recorded this talk explaining what I call the "shadow integration...
  13. kadeshzelbriel

    abstinence versus understanding

    hey people! as i'm reading through these forums, i've been thinking a lot about how the major focus on abstinence can be a little unhelpful, because it's usually not actually possible to overcome an addiction solely through willpower and discipline. i know for myself, it has made a huge...
  14. kadeshzelbriel

    Hell's cowboy - riding the bucking bronco into sexual freedom

    Okay, okay, okay. I'm here, y'all. Porn user since age 11, PMO mostly before bed ~4-5/week ages 13-25. Whenever life got tough, I sunk into a pornhole. Thanksgiving 2016 my sister blew my mind by playing beautiful piano and telling me discipline is possible. The next day I decided to pick up...
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