Recent content by Phineas 808

Instead of a Boeing, that was a time machine!

Self-worth. How much a man is tied up in what he does or what his work is... Isn't that always a go-to question at parties or social gatherings? "So, what do you do for a living?" I've always disliked this line of questioning, especially as it seems to suggest that all one is can be summed up in...

You won't be kicked out of this forum for that. We understand these things are a challenge to overcome... For further information, please read our Forum Rules & Guidelines. Hope that helps.

This is the rub, and something we have to get used to (especially those of us who don't have that support). We have to be okay with, and expect that, we hit our milestones or successes without that 'pat on the back' from our spouses. No parade will be held in our honor (particularly for doing...

This may be controversial, but I wouldn't put too much reliance on willpower. It's good in a pinch, but it's best to not wrestle with our urges, but rather to ignore them. Let them dissipate (and they will!) on their own. It's like a law of the universe (or biology), the urges, no matter how...

The brain gets full, and it seeks its release. It does what brains do. But, we (with executive power) get to tell the lower 'beast-brain' where to get off! The lower brain doesn't always have good suggestions (as we all know), but we get to choose which ones to listen to, and which ones aren't...

It's worth celebrating that you went what, 6 or 7 days without it? That's pretty significant as part of your recent experiences, right? I hope you stopped to give yourself props, and even celebrate it somehow- and then try again.

Definitely! This troublesome addiction is only a small part of who you are. It's imposed itself, so to speak, on your marriage in a big way, but in the overall story of your life, it has but a small part. Healthy to see yourself as separate from this habit.

Dangermouse, I know how that can be a real challenge when the spouse is upset (or worse) over this addiction. It's problematic, because the wife being upset is itself a 'trigger' or cue to act out. Wishing you success in your travel to UK, and for things to cool down.

Never underestimate the habits that surround your [unwanted] habit. Pay close attention to yourself. What's going on internally, emotionally, that leads up to a lapse? What's going on externally, in your environment, your circumstances or your activities, that lead up to a lapse? Hack into...

Sorry to hear that, bro. I know it's a challenge to gather yourself up, pick yourself up, and go again after a lapse or a binge. Okay, so a lapse = a binge for you. It was about a week, right? So, it's not as mentally challenging (according to perception) as lapsing after, say, 200 days. But...

I've known this place all too well, all to often. What you described, too, as the anticipation to watch p is more exciting than the actual doing of it..., this is due to at least two factors: 1. Dopamine itself is anticipatory in nature, meaning that, it's a little injection of excitement to...

I feel that. Thoughts are lighting fast, whereas emotions can linger (but only so long if ignored; they linger longer with attention). See them (and its a matter of perception) as 'thought-feeling', as a unit arising from the 'lower brain' suggesting future p-use. We dismiss them simply by...

Good, that just means your brain is healthy- it's just simply (but innocently) trained to give you the wrong suggestions to the unwanted emotional or physical stimuli. 'Embrace the suck'- but with a focus on the no-suck (lol...), that is, on the version of you who overcomes this habit and...

Are you changing unwanted behaviors with willpower or no-will power? You've heard the term 'white-knuckling' ? This is where you're exerting every effort not to do the thing you're obsessing about, P, PMO, or for some MO. And yet, you're barely making it. Maybe you're peeking, maybe you're...