Recent content by Impermanence

R4-D1:- I have been going down the ditch again. The only problem I have in my life is this - Uncontrollable & insatiable Passion & Lust- it hinder my professional work, my relationships, my life choices and my spiritual progress. From yesterday night I have Masturbated to Pron thrice. And...

December start till now I have fully engaged in PMO. I m unable to regulate or point as to why this is happening. I feel like i need a break from professional and even personal life. I wish to become a monk for few years to fully study my mind in isolation without any external distractions...

R3-D 34,- (oct 31st) Had a good run so far. But yesterday night felt an urge to feel good. Naturally instead of moving to Porn i made a choice to allow myself to only masturba te without porn. On an suprising note it was one of the best i have had so far. Having felt best pleasure. Mind was...

R3 -D7- (4t Oct) I m okay now. I do notice some part of me at times getting narrow and stuck on attractive female body parts and shapes in real time. In real sense it may be natural but my last relapse has certainly influenced my visual perceptions. Another subtler noticing there were some...

R3-D5&6 (2 & 3rd Oct) Yesterday I did have a craving I even noticed myself latch the door in an impulse but somehow instead of seeking porn I made a call to a colleague over a something she wanted to discuss. Somehow impulse subsided. Today as I was browsing some youtube videos i saw a semi...

R3-D4 Yesterday was day 4. I have noticed one thing when I am in this phase i often step down from whom who i am. In a sense that i would do a job like that of a clerical which is not in my profile. There is more permissiveness in my personality. i guess it's coz of messed up judgement system...

R3-D3, When head is messed up it is so easy for mind to get angry, hold grudges. It easily feels hurt and want to share hurt by spreading bad about others that hurt us. This is so not me. Who is this that I have become?. Lying and hiding and shrinking from challenges. This is definately not...

R3-D2 I don't know what to say about today pritty weird day. Internally i felt confused, impulse driven, face was dead and lifeless. My colleague could sense something different in me and needing a vacation to recuperate from the state i was in she called me disoriented, multiple things on mind...

This is the law of nature, which no one can escape: a defiled mind remains agitated, an unstained mind is happy. –S.N. Goenka Dhamma qoute of the day .. so true 🙏

R3- Day 1 Feeling exhausted in one part of my brain and .. memory, concentration, judgement has taken backseat not functioning fully.. Wishing well for self and days to come

Thanks Blondie. I really needed this supportive words.. I have known God like strength in the absence of PMO.. today it feels hard to navigate. I don't even know how i got through the day.. I'll try to do as you say get up, look in heart for reasons, try again and keep going👍

From sunday to tuesday I have masturbated atleast 6 times 5 of it to the porn. It's saddening to see that something in me seeks this and I don't have any conscious control over it. From today on I have decided that I will restart the reboot (3) with an option to have masturbation but without...

R2-day 3 Feeling like coming to some normalcy.may I continue to do what is right by my spirit. May I always walk on the right path.

R2- Day 2 Every moment feels heavy, Lethargic, dry.. like zest for life is lost.. desire for life has taken backseat.. like i just want to go to sleep or hide and wake up when all this is over. I was the one who would support other people's life.. today i don't feel like engaging much...

Reboot 2 - Day 1, Pornographic images shows up in mind even as i sit to meditate. There is urge that aslo shows up in body to engage again in porn images. Some part in me justifies it as okay , pleasurable and sweet. as I write something saying in ..That i like it when I m touching my genitals...