Recent content by 46and2

  1. 4

    A way back to the light

    Hi all, its been a long time since I logged on. I have started therapy and it is going well. Right now there isn´t much more to tell except this; no-one can ever hand us the meaning in life we search for, we must decide for ourselves what the meaning of our lives will be. For each person it is...
  2. 4

    A way back to the light

    I've decided to return to therapy and see if that can offer me a path forward. Reached out to a therapist today and will know more tomorrow hopefully.
  3. 4

    A way back to the light

    Well I was warned by everyone not to give into the chase but I didn't listen and yeah I relapsed again. Surprise surprise! I want to say something positive....to feel it. But I don't. I feel like I'm broken, like my hand is constantly hovering over the self-destruct button just waiting to push...
  4. 4

    A way back to the light

    So I Mo'd yesterday and rather than restting my counter I'm still going to take the victory of being 4 days clean of P. Im not resetting my counter cause I had a harmless wank; its too psychologically upsetting for me to keep resetting for somrthing as harmless as a wank and releasing sexual...
  5. 4

    A way back to the light

    I hear you man. The chaser effect was is certainly present but awareness as always is the key. 2 days clean thank God! One day at a time.
  6. 4

    A way back to the light

    You're so right brother and thats what I did. So thats something new, usually once I use I spiral into hell but fuck that that this time. Straight back on the horse. 1 day clean thank God! One day at a time.
  7. 4

    A way back to the light

    Thanks man but I must surrender up that I used! Jesus man I'm so annoyed with myself. Every time I think this could be it but I fall into triggers easily. I cannot smoke weed; its a fucking trigger!
  8. 4

    This time I have to quit it for good!

    Awesome my man! Keep going!!!
  9. 4

    A way back to the light

    17 days clean thank God! One day at a time. Yesterday was tough, I pray for an easier day today.
  10. 4

    A way back to the light

    16 days clean thank God! One day at a time. Dealing with urges today but to use the analogy of a fellow brother in recovery; sail on the wave of the urge, it'll eventually break! God grant me the strength to continue my journey of self-discovery, peace and eternal love. Be well my friends.
  11. 4

    Rebooting trough self-parenting

    Thankyou for that insightful post brother!
  12. 4

    A way back to the light

    15 days clean thank God! One day at a time. Fuck you porn, you can kiss my skinny pale ass!
  13. 4

    This time I have to quit it for good!

    Sounds like you had a rough one all right brother! Yet you perservered, we're stronger than we give ourselves credit for. We don't need this shit in our lives. As I walk around each day I often reflect on how free I feel without pornography in my life. Keep it up brother; we're here for you.
  14. 4

    A way back to the light

    14 days clean thank God! One day at a time. In an effort to find new ways of Being, I´ll be deepening my meditation practice by joining an online group today which is totally new for me. 45 minutes meditative practice, really looking forward to it! Much love all.
  15. 4

    A way back to the light

    13 days clean thank God! One day at a time. Yesterday evening was a tough one and I came very close to a relapse. Coming on here and surrendering the urges to the community really helped me. Today I'm very glad I didn't follow through on them. Much love all.
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