Recent content by Jswizzle

  1. Jswizzle

    Amor Fati (Recovery Journal)

    Thanks for your support brother. I'm not the same person I once was. Hope life is going well for you.
  2. Jswizzle

    Amor Fati (Recovery Journal)

    Thank you for the encouragement and support. Going to keep moving forward.
  3. Jswizzle

    Amor Fati (Recovery Journal)

    October 19th 2022 Relapsed last night. PMO. Doing my best to keep accountable. Searched for pornographic PDFs as my phone filter limits much of the streaming websites. Contributing factors: turned down from my wife for sexual intimacy, it was late at night after working all day (rejected, not...
  4. Jswizzle

    Amor Fati (Recovery Journal)

    Sunday, October 9th, 2022 Relapsed. Full PMO. Again it's the websites that allow explicit images my filters are not catching. I know how to get around the filter. Contributing factors: Stress, shame, disappointment, fighting with my spouse.
  5. Jswizzle

    Amor Fati (Recovery Journal)

    Monday, October 3rd 2022 Struggled today and relapsed. Full PMO. Been doing better up until today. Searched for and found websites that allow images. Couldn't sleep this morning. Woke up at 4 am and couldn't go back to bed. Succumbed to temptation. Contributing factors: tired, elevated stress...
  6. Jswizzle

    Amor Fati (Recovery Journal)

    Monday, September 19th 2022 Relapsed this morning. Images. Full PMO. Know how to search for content that gets around filter.
  7. Jswizzle

    Amor Fati (Recovery Journal)

    Tuesday, September 13th 2022 Struggled today and relapsed. Sought out porn. Wife working. Daughter at school. Despite many filters on my phone, viewed on my cell phone. Trying not to live in shame. PMO to image. Tomorrow is a new day. Want to keep fighting. Want to heal and be free of this.
  8. Jswizzle

    Amor Fati (Recovery Journal)

    Monday, August 29th 2022 Porn free today. Day 4 Grateful to get to spend quality time with my wife and daughter tonight. Evening walk after she got off work.
  9. Jswizzle

    Amor Fati (Recovery Journal)

    Sunday, August 28th 2022 Checking in. End of day 3 since relapse. Good day overall. Determined not to succumb to temptation again. Noticing since my relapse, urges rising to give in to other vices that haven't given me problems for a while (vaping and smoking). Haven't given in. Just observing...
  10. Jswizzle

    Amor Fati (Recovery Journal)

    Orbiter & Blondie, thank you for your support. Working on getting myself back into a pro-recovery mindset. I've done well since last reporting relapse.
  11. Jswizzle

    Amor Fati (Recovery Journal)

    Want to be accountable. Relapsed yesterday full PMO. 8/25. Didn't want to report as I was/am feeling shame. Secrets keep me sick. Fuck secrets. Idle time. Boredom. Stress. Hunger. All players in the relapse.
  12. Jswizzle

    Amor Fati (Recovery Journal)

    Friday, August 12 2022 I relapsed tonight. Full PMO. Viewed on my game console. Feeling pretty shitty. Got caught up in the "obsession." Triggered as I was shopping on Amazon. A scantily dressed female triggered me while browsing the website. Got caught up in the surge of dopamine in the...
  13. Jswizzle

    Amor Fati (Recovery Journal)

    Hello, It's been a while since I've been on here. Feeling conflicted and shameful. Good indicator that the addict that lies within is alive and well. Just want to check in and report relapse. Despite being unsuccessful in being able to find porn all the behaviors that go along with...
  14. Jswizzle

    Amor Fati (Recovery Journal)

    Hello! It has been a while since I have been on the forum. I'm grateful to still be porn free. I think I'm over 200 days. By far the longest time I have ever been in my life since I was 13 years old. Since my last post there have been times I have faced temptation. I even searched something...
  15. Jswizzle

    Amor Fati (Recovery Journal)

    Sunday, June 19th 2022 Day 179 no porn Happy Father's Day! Just wanted to check in as it has been a while since I have been on the forum. Six days. Today I was scrolling my Facebook feed and found a friend recommend. I have been using it lately for professional networking. It was a female and...
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