Recent content by Seafly

[MO: 2 -- Me: 21] Relapse I relapsed this morning. My thoughts were self-shaming and self-attacking when it happened. Why should I care about no porn if I don't have a family or a girlfriend or a daughter or anyone else that won't get hurt by my actions? I'm trying to remain positive...

[MO: 1 -- Me: 21] Day 13 Happy Sunday everyone! It's going to be a beautiful day and I'm going to spend most of it outside doing yard work. Maybe I'll ponder some thoughts while I'm at it. That's my report and I'm sticking to it. I woke up this morning craving porn. My brain was, "hey, you...

[MO: 1 -- Me: 20] Day 12 I don't have a lot to say today other than this is the third day in a row I woke up with an active libido. I think this is normal. Another goal I'm going to add is playing my video games in moderation. A few hours a day only and the rest of the day do something...

[MO: 1 -- Me: 19] Day 11: My libido is still strong apparently as I fought the urge to look at lewdness this morning when I woke up. It sucks we can't just turn off our desire to procreate whenever we want to. It takes effort to control the actions our feelings want to go in. I wonder if...

I KNOW you're right when you say this, but sometimes I just fail without any lessons learned. How do you grow when you can't fathom the mistakes you made or the lessons that stem from it? I'm resisting what you're saying and I think this is why. Thank you for your response!

[MO: 1 -- Me: 18] Day 10 -- On confidence Yesterday was another fine day. No shitty suffering to go through. Another success in avoiding porn despite the urge to see some nakedness. Have a few thoughts on confidence, though. Throughout my life, I've struggled to have confidence with myself...

[MO: 1 -- Me: 17] Day 9 Yesterday was finally a good day. Finally a day worth writing about. It wasn't fan-freakin'-tastic by any stretch of the imagination, but I wasn't suffering all day either. I spent a few hours at the animal shelter with the cats which always makes me feel better...

[MO: 1 -- Me: 16] Day 8: What doesn't kill us makes us stronger My edit in yesterday's entry disappeared or I didn't click the right button so I gotta write up my experiences in this one. Yesterday basically sucked goat balls. I felt nothing but shame and despair the entire day even when...

[MO: 1 -- Me: 15] Day 7: Rough Seas Woke up feeling emotionally vulnerable this morning. The war that's going on in my head between my love of video games and the negative big picture they're attached to is still raging. Depression seems inevitable today. I'm already feeling it. And the...

[MO: 1 -- Me: 14] Day 6: Semi-lazy Sunday Feeling much less fatigued but still a little wary about it. Probably shouldn't over-exert myself too much just to be safe. Going to go outside every once in a while and pick up pine cones or maybe even chop some wood if I'm feeling frisky. A bath...

[MO: 1 -- Me: 13] Day 5: Resistant catepillar Still bedridden with whatever is making me feel fatigued. Luckily, my side is getting better and I can breathe deeply without too much pain. I had the urge to PMO earlier today but I ignored it. That urge is probably still lurking around...

[MO: 1 -- Me: 12] Day 4: Sick Day I'm pretty sure the drinking did something to my organs that is making me sick. Or at least not be able to fight off what is ravaging my system right now. I did this to myself and now I have to pay the price. At least I didn't give in to any other...

[MO: 1 -- Me: 11] Day 3 -- Plot Twist So, I briefly lost my mind last Friday. Out of some sense of caring for the people I live with, I separated myself from them by living in my car at the homeless shelter for about five days. Was it worth it? No. Why did I do it? Because I thought I was...

[MO: 0 -- Me: 10] Day 10: AM -- Confessions of an unhealthy mistake Oh, to be 16 again and be able to eat junk food and not feel the consequences to it! Those days are long past but sometimes I get the hankering for something sweet and I give in a little. I think I'm at the age where bad...

Thank you! I think at this point I don't really care if I don't feel my libido. Sometimes I want to just chemically castrate myself and call it good. All this jerking off doesn't do anyone any good, especially me.