Recent content by searching4good

  1. searching4good

    Starting again

    Ended up slipping Monday and Tuesday, which was not great, but they were also less self destructive slips than what has come before over the last few weeks. Yesterday I returned a laptop I had basically purchased nearly a month ago in a moment of weakness so I could dive back into p*rn. By the...
  2. searching4good

    Starting again

    Thanks for checking in @Dungalef - truthfully, not well. The last couple of weeks have been filled with more binges and not really trying that hard at all to get out of the hole. There's been a lot of wasted time, energy and money poured into the never ending pit of filth in this time and I can...
  3. searching4good

    Starting again

    I've had a rough couple of weeks since I last posted. Was slipping back into bad habits but still maintaining some semblance of control until last Thursday when I slipped really badly. I ended up buying a laptop on the way home from work essentially just so I could use it to binge on PMO. And...
  4. searching4good

    Another story - probably the same as everyone else

    I've just caught up a little bit on your thread @GBS - so sorry to hear about your recent loss and wishing you and those around you all the best. Fantastic, amazing work on knocking down those days. What an exciting milestone tomorrow!
  5. searching4good

    Porn is not an option

    That a boy @Blondie - keep killing it! Proud of you man.
  6. searching4good

    Starting again

    Day 2 So, I ended up slipping on day 8. It was a strange one as the big meeting I was worried about went well, albeit I found it very very draining. But getting back home from work in the evening I felt strong and convinced that I was going to have another clean day. That was going well until I...
  7. searching4good

    Starting again

    Today was a lot, busy and stressful and inflammation flared up which always makes me feel worse about things. Tomorrow is even busier with a big meeting I'm leading but, I stayed clean today and feel really good for that. Have made it to the 1 week clean mark for the first time since September...
  8. searching4good

    Porn is not an option

    Just a quick one @Blondie to say so damn impressed and proud of you for putting your shit on the table. It sounds so hard and painful and draining, buttt, it's also a massive sign of growth, regardless of how it felt/feels in the immediate aftermath. Day by day you are finding more and more of...
  9. searching4good

    Starting again

    I awoke early yesterday feeling quite triggered - decided to MO to fairly innocuous images sent to me by someone in my life I have a crush on. Note that this wasn't my GF. Found the process was sort of firing up those pathways closely associated with PMO, and I had to stop myself from peeking at...
  10. searching4good

    Escape and never come back

    For what it's worth @Escapeandnevercomeback I am always just really impressed at your raw honesty and commitment to keep coming back, even when you do relapse. Shit, I've sure as hell been too cowardly to post about mine most of the time and end up just going completely off the grid for weeks...
  11. searching4good

    Starting again

    Still felt a bit hungover today, which actually wasn't the best way to start the week on reflection, despite my previous post 😂. That said, a day in the office kept me away from any temptations and I ended up having a productive one all things considered. Had a good evening too and am turning...
  12. searching4good

    Starting again

    Day 4 down. Starting the week in the right way for the first time in a while.
  13. searching4good

    Starting again

    Yesterday was a good day, another one clean and fought hard for it. Went out for drinks last night and have woken up feeling like a bag of crap this morning but I'm also with the GF which means I can have a 'nice' hangover day and also not worry about temptations. Note to self - did I really...
  14. searching4good

    Starting again

    Quick one just to say that I followed through on the above and took that laptop back to the store for a refund. And have just sorted through a load of overdue expenses to get on top of that too. God life is better when I'm not lost down the rabbit hole. Well done me.
  15. searching4good

    Starting again

    Today I'm switching off the lights with a hard-fought win. Dug deep when I got home to resist temptations and do little things that would nourish me. As little as starting a series that I was looking forward to, making myself a green tea. Getting an early night. During my recent lapse I caved...
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