Recent content by alrevenant

Its been a week now. I feel like something is different than the other times I reached day 7. I can remember vividly how PMOing made feel worst.

Day three; I was busy the entire day, didn't even think about P. I had a lot of stress though, but it was only stress not anxiety. Looking forward to those wsymptoms .

Day two! I had a sudden urge to watch some, I struggled a bit because I was tired at the time, but at the end I didn't fall and it feels great! Need more days like this.

Back to day one. I'm gonna crush those little pieces of P neurons in my brain. Imagine taking your PMO memories like in Harry Potter, and throwing them in the trash.....no....in the fire, and incinerate them. That would be convenient wouldn't it.

Cheering for the swimmer here!! Carry on, you'r the man!!

I lost today. Though, even when I access P, I try to limit my consumption time. I think I went for 120 or 170 minutes. I'm not even mad. I don't see the point in getting mad anymore. Tomorrow is another day, better stay busy, and strong!!

I won today!! I'm having negative thoughts though. Especially about people, but I don't think its because of WS, its too early for that. Despite all that, I'm feeling well. My days are all about being productive, and present.

Another day, another victory. Though, I realize that this is just the beginning. I just hope that I'd resort to jurnaling here rather than to P, when I get stressed, or feel down and anxious. I wish that for everybody here!! Take care guys!

Thank you, glad I'm not alone, and there is a solid solution for this. Unfortunately, I don't have access to professional help, physically and financially. But its okay, I can pull through this, I'm sure of it. I just have to be patient.

Alright, clean day!! feels good, but I have to stay strong for tomorrow, this is just the beginning. It was a hell of productive day. Keep it up!!!

Did the nasty today. Its really annoying. I hope I can read this in the future and laugh about how insignificant this whole thing was. We tend to overestimate the cloud when we're in the middle of it. Tomorrow is gonna be a clean day, I promise you future self.

I basically have to do some daily tasks, and when i'm in the PMO mood, I neglect everything!!! I'm in a 1-1 cycle = 1 day PMO, 1 day rest, then, repeat. Now I have to do my tasks every other day? No way jose!

Its really hard to do such a task alone. I wish I had someone with me, who could help me. Of course there are online people, which is a blessing, but somebody physically hearing you out, and taking it seriously, and actually helping you, couldn't hurt either. Any advice on how to do this alone irl?

I feel so small, and insignificant. It is true that I'm just a human being, but to not be able to control my own actions is just absurd. Although I didn't crumble to a rock bottom in a longtime, and other people have had worse experiences with addiction, I pitty myself for I have so many things...

Day #1: As usual, the day went with an iron will, sharp thoughts determined on stopping. But as always, this resolve will wither. I need a way to revive it everyday....I know its hard, you guys know too. anyways, I've thought about P for a second, but it was the end of the day and I didn't want...