Recent content by anewlife

Completed 5 months recently and my life was moving on the right track for the first time in a while. However, relapsed today totally out of the blue. It all happened in a matter of minutes and I could not get control of the situation. The only thing to do now is to forgive and forget, and start...

It has been around 50 days since I stopped using P. I saw through the illusions and it is no more a part of my life and I have no fear that I might fall back. Once we see through the illusions, it is impossible to even think about going back to the miserable state we were in. This also requires...

Day 5 - Had to resort to MO today. I do not consider it a relapse in the traditional sense. The pressure buildup was very high and there looked no way out but to release it. As long as there is no P or mental stimulation, I am okay with it for now. However, I consider it too as an unhealthy...

Have to start over again. Recently had a month long streak, but lost the momentum since then and have been relapsing every few days. Earlier I usually felt some guilt and sadness after a relapse which would be enough to get me up, but now even that has disappeared. What I have noticed is that...

Very tired of living this empty and soulless life. Have been stuck in reboot-relapse cycle since several years. I don't have much hope that I can change at this stage. I feel that life has already slipped out of my hands. Living as a zombie with no motivation or goals in life. I still want to...