Recent content by SimonM

  1. SimonM

    Amor Fati (Recovery Journal)

    I'm sorry to hear about your relapse. But remember, right now it's just one bad day in over 200 good ones. Don't let this setback lead to a bunch of acting out. Just continue the way you've been going all year. Move forward not back. Why did you fail? Maybe in the answer to that you can find...
  2. SimonM

    Miles to Go

    That's amazing! Congratulations. Your journey is certainly an inspiration and motivates me to keep pushing on! I feel exactly the way you do about MO. It's hard to imagine leaving it behind forever. It's hard to consider doing it, even occasionally, without eventually letting that slide into P...
  3. SimonM

    Holding the Fool (me) to Account

    Good day today. Progress on some important fronts professionally. Date night last night that ended well. Today I'm feeling very charged, if you know what I mean, but I shall save it for my wife. I have been a guy who was on a forum for a few years with an initial long streak and then a string...
  4. SimonM

    Holding the Fool (me) to Account

    Just another day when I won't be looking at P. My focus is on not even letting the option enter my mind. I feel a physical pull to satisfy the craving (achy privates mostly and a bit of a lack of ability to focus), but in my mind there is zero chance right now of going there. I'm just not...
  5. SimonM

    The Road to Redemption

    It all starts with self-knowledge doesn't it? ... and you have gained a lot of that! Your inner freedom can give you an illuminated life even IF there's a lot of crap to deal with. Stay strong and true! :)
  6. SimonM

    My Journey

    Hey! Welcome! Well, your situation is super different from mine so I don't have that much to say right now. The only thing that immediately comes to my mind is that maybe you are too focused on climaxing? I think we really are trained to think that sex isn't good unless we climax. Which is...
  7. SimonM

    Battle Journal

    That's awesome! Keep going! :)
  8. SimonM

    To always start again

    Lately I've been thinking a lot that to beat P, we have to truly eliminate it as an option in our lives. We cannot toy with even the idea of looking at it. It's just not an option. I don't know... I've been trying to beat this for 15 years without success, so maybe I don't know much... But as...
  9. SimonM


    I am similar. Not many regrets, but my addiction is a big one. So much time wasted! So much energy... What if... Well maybe we can get a sense for that if we just truly put it in our past? We can maybe live the rest of our life like it doesn't exist? Never too late...
  10. SimonM

    Miserable due to porn addiction

    Yeah. The "dog shit" days are the worst. But if we push through them it does get easier after! There is light at the end of the tunnel! Keep it up!
  11. SimonM

    The boring reboot

    Life has tested you and you've stayed strong. Keep it up! I find that becoming resentful of my wife is a normal part of the recovery. I go from wanting her like mad, to feeling barely any attraction, to being mad at her, to finding some balance eventually... I think maybe we project our own...
  12. SimonM

    Holding the Fool (me) to Account

    Thank you guys! It helps to know that we're not alone in this! Got a week of being by myself with the computer for the majority of the time ahead of me. I'm going to hold myself to account here by saying that I CANNOT let that tempt me to stray. P is not an option. Not today, not ever again for...
  13. SimonM

    I'm a porn addict (by far the crappiest, lamest addiction ever)

    Congratulations! That's awesome! And I totally agree about getting a hobby. It can be very helpful to fill our time with something we look forward to. P is often about getting a dopamine high, and a good hobby can give you that too!
  14. SimonM

    Untethered Soul

    Great to hear! Keep it up! :)
  15. SimonM

    Crawling from the wreckage

    Oh boy! I'm glad you turned it off! You'll have to be extra vigilant for a while now if my experience is any indication. Those images might come back to tempt you. Don't go back. Despite it's sweet temptation we know it's hell. It ain't worth it! Strength brother!