Recent content by McNutty

  1. McNutty

    Freedom By Any Means Necessary...

    I'm back for more. I just came out of a nasty binge-relapse where I wasted 4 hours edging to porn. Things are at an all time low over here in more ways than just one. But PMO is one of those things that, even after all this time, I could still single it out as one of the most destructive forces...
  2. McNutty

    Escaping the status addictus...

    1% - No PMO: I logged in tonight and realized that I haven’t put an entry since the end of June. I had a tough night tonight, bingeing for hours like a zombie – most of us know this scenario too well, and only the lucky ones experience it as a sour memory of where they once were. I have trouble...
  3. McNutty

    Escaping the status addictus...

    Day 7 – No PMO: Mood: 4.5/10 Energy: 4/10 Today was better than I expected. I woke up feeling rundown but as the day progressed I started feeling better. Some days I handle my stress/anxiety better than other days. The other piece of good news is that I managed to stay alone at home (and do...
  4. McNutty

    Escaping the status addictus...

    Day 6 - No PMO: Mood: 3/10 Energy: 3/10 Another difficult day, but at least it's almost out of the way now. I keep having OCD flare ups and I just hope this doesn't last too long. Usually this early on in the journey nothing surprises me when it comes to low mood. I've done this enough times to...
  5. McNutty

    Escaping the status addictus...

    Day 5 – No PMO: Mood: 4/10 Energy: 5/10 Today is significantly better than the past couple of days, although I don’t feel great by a long shot. I have some urges to PMO as I have been home alone for a while now. My partner has been going out for work a lot lately and I found that it’s...
  6. McNutty

    Escaping the status addictus...

    Day 4 – No PMO: Mood: 3.5/10 Energy: 3/10 Today has been relatively smooth with no significant OCD attacks to report on. I haven’t had an urge to PMO at all the past 4 days, but not to say that I will be complacent at any point. I expect the next few weeks to be very stressful and therefore...
  7. McNutty

    Escaping the status addictus...

    Thanks @Androg - that's very helpful. I've been looking up a few therapists lately and will probably start seeing one soon. I am however, still resolved to continue the journey of quitting PMO as I know from experience it really helps with my OCD/anxiety. That being said, feeling suicidal is...
  8. McNutty

    Escaping the status addictus...

    Day 3 – No PMO: Mood: 4/10 Energy: 4/10 Today is better than the past 2 days since I (re)started this journey. The first day was one of the most difficult days I had to endure in a long time. I really felt like I am approaching the ‘end’. It is not a fun place to be for sure. In order to combat...
  9. McNutty

    Escaping the status addictus...

    Day 2 – No PMO: Mood: 3/10 Energy: 3/10 I recorded down my average daily mood and energy levels to keep track of my progress. My main obstacles remain my OCD and severe anxiety issues, most likely brought about by my continued indulgence despite negative consequences. Put plainly, there is no...
  10. McNutty

    Escaping the status addictus...

    Day 1 – No PMO: Mood: 2/10 Energy: 4/10 I am actually on day 3 as I started this new streak on the 22nd. In the interest of being consistent and journaling every day until 90 days (and beyond), I decided to log my entry for the past two days retroactively. I will then journal for the 3rd day...
  11. McNutty

    Escaping the status addictus...

    Day 10 - No PMO: It's interesting that I bounced back relatively quickly after my last relapse. Usually I take about 2 weeks of bingeing after a relapse before I reach double digits again. This time I only relapsed for a couple of days and just got back to it. Anyways, just an interesting...
  12. McNutty

    Escaping the status addictus...

    Day 9 - No PMO: I'm back at nine days after my last relapse. Going through a bit of a rough patch as of late, but hanging in there. Today has mostly been BDD-free, so I am grateful for that. I'm trying a mindset shift and also trying to reframe my OCD thoughts so that ruminations don't consume...
  13. McNutty

    Escaping the status addictus...

    Thanks! I know they will
  14. McNutty

    Escaping the status addictus...

    Day 8 - No PMO: My mood was still in a decline today. I try to keep a positive mindset but I am finding it difficult sometimes. My BDD and OCD is getting worse and I am struggling to finish mundane tasks. Mental health problems are very crippling and they cause me to question everything about...
  15. McNutty

    Escaping the status addictus...

    Day 7 - No PMO: This one really has to work. Not because I'm tired of relapsing (which I am), but because my mental health is not as resilient as it was just a few months ago. I'm on the verge of cracking every day I continue with this journey. A relapse at this time in my life can have very...
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