Recent content by SajithKR

Very good advice. I need to keep reminding this to myself.

Day 13: Still staying away from Porn. YouTube is still an addition. Aimless watching with no specific aim is an issue. Am I doing it to just to stop doing nothing or is it the trick of my hijacker to take me to a situation to slip? What ever may be the reason, I have to overcome this habit to...

Day 11: Back to spending lots of time on mobile. Need some distractions all the time. It is so difficult to do nothing. There is fear of missing out or fear of negative thoughts hurting me. Mobile distractions and work keeps me engaged all the time. Am I missing life? No wonder I find some...

Day 8: Could not hold myself from YouTube. Now it is mainly news and debates. I can feel my mind getting more frustrated by end of day. Instead of news, I am trying to watch porn de addictions videos. This reminds me of the danger of slippery slop that I can get into.

Day 2: I am staying away from YouTube. Felt calmer. I was aware of occasional mild urges. My phone is also in do-not-disturb mode most of the day.

Day 1: It is good to start fresh. Let me take this to 2024 with a clean canvas. 2024 should be my lucky year. The year I conquer this hijacker. This is an urge to view some social media. This is a trick by the hijacker. I am resisting this. Don't want to go down the slippery slope.

Day 1. Grumpy most of the day. Went out with the family in the evening and felt better.

Well back to 0. I watched a movie, then switched to adult stuff on YouTune, and watched it till 2 am. Still had to get up at 6am to take my kid to school. Feeling sleepy at work today.

Day5. Unconsciously get sucked back by YouTube and waste time, but it gives a false impression that it is important to watch it and we should not miss out on this or utilise our free time. Utilising my free time to watch YouTube seems to be a trap for me.

Day4. Holding on. The end of day 3 was not great with some big quarrels with the teenage son for blocking his wifi internet access at night and asking him to go and sleep, but I could go and sleep well. Not watching YouTube or even listening to some podcasts (even though the content is...

Day 2. Was very busy from 6am to 10pm. Did some volunteer work for total strangers. Back home after hectic physical work. So no time or even some honey thoughts. My phone was switched off most of the time. Sunday went like this. If only every day was like this.

Day 1 went well. Reduced my YouTube time. I am planning fixed time for this and only specific channels.

Again back to 0. This time I can't blame anyone. I just gave in to addiction. Just browsing through YouTube and not finding anything to take my full attention. My mind is not clear now. Has to bring back clarity. Now I am in an unreal world of illusion. If anything disturbed this, I will find...

Gave up after 8 days. The urge is coming in waves. I had not had real sex for 2 months. There is no real bond with my wife. Married for more than 17 years and having two kids. Sex with her is always a struggle. She has pain even after using lubrication. She does not like any foreplay. Does not...

After 10 days, back to 0. I feel more relaxed. I had a lot of internal stress staying away from PMO. Now things are back to my routine. As long as my family does not find out, it seems fine. One day they will find out. Maybe they will understand or humiliate me.