Recent content by CodeTheMind

Day 3 I'm happy for these small victories. Starting to gain confidence and most importantly peace again. Detachment from pornography is possible, slow and steady.

Thanks Blondie, I'm hopeful. Wishing to reach a point where I can think of porn as just something from my past (perhaps I could start now). That with each step I take porn will occupy less of my thoughts, less of my dreams and memories, less of my desires. My objective is to unmask the worms...

Day 2 I had forgotten how difficult this is some days. But it is a matter of perspective, since I can also say that I had forgotten how good this is for me (if I succeed). I focus on my goals, and at this point the most important goals are peace and health.

Day 1 (again). Today I went through the culmination of a series of realizations. I am exactly where I should be. My very own nature, my decisions, my destiny (if I believe in destiny), is what brought me here. And what is here? The place of addiction. Doom. I do not believe nor feel that...

Thanks for the support. To answer your question, not really. I only have myself- and even though I could ask for external help I feel people wouldn't get me.

Day 3 This is a marathon not a sprint. This is a whole life project involving many areas of my life. I rather advance with slow and secure steps, allowing time and opportunity to provide healing and growth.

Day II I've been thinking how silly it is to be addicted to masturbation, pornography and sex for so long. It just sounds very silly. It cannot be possible that my main problem in life now and for so many years has been something as stupid and real as this. It's a compulsive and immature...

Thanks, sincerely. I agree, and I am proud of myself for this year that is reaching its end. I've done way better in comparison to my past self and I wish to continue forward. Self acceptance is as important as self improvement. I know pain and confusion are just momentary experiences. And as...

Day I Unfortunately I remain unable and unwilling to fully quit this drug. There's not much to say, I decided to return here because I hit rock bottom once again. Nothing terrible happened. I was dating a woman (we dated for around a month) and yesterday I decided for us to go on different...

I will take a break from public journaling and continue with my journey through a private diary for a while. I will return to update on my situation, not exactly sure when (sooner than later).

Day 4 Things are fine overall. I am a bit worried however, since a few of my friends have pointed out that I may not be enough for her...reinforcing some of my own thoughts. The issue with that perspective is that it gets me nowhere! Certainly, things might not work out. But everything in life...

Day 2 Today is such a strange day in the most pleasant of ways. I think I still can't comprehend what it means to me: I didn't surrendered the love I feel for my coworker. And, unexpectedly, she has agreed to go out with me one day. This means a lot. What we have going on, what we have both...

Day 1 Indeed. I was feeling prideful in its dark side of expression. And I was angry. It is necessary and crucial for me to learn to control my emotions and cultivate healthier ones if I will fulfill my recovery process. I can't avoid to see a parallelism between myself and Dorian Gray, the...

I relapsed most unexpectedly, just once. Will get up and do it better. I appreciate everyone's support. Sorry for disappointing. And I definitely will continue to improve and continue to fight. I want to eliminate this from my life forever and clearly I haven't. But I will. What happened was...

Day 7 I'm feeling well but I'm trying to be very careful with the early feeling of the recovery journey. Nothing wrong with taking a few seconds to appreciate the increased levels of attention, confidence, and calmness. And having appreciated them I also recognized other darkest feelings...such...