Recent content by Brianstorm

So far the Welbutrin hasn't done much. I'm on a higher dose now but still don't have motivation. And my porn use has been worse lately. I saw on Reddit someone said they got over porn by not punishing themselves for it. They just admitted that they liked it and were choosing to do it. And...

I haven't been here in over a month. It was bad at first, doing it a bunch of times a week, sometimes days in a row. Which for me is a lot, especially as I go for hours, sometimes all night. But after a while I stopped doing it as often. Lately it's been hardly at all, been keeping busy. But...

I just did it. Barely a few hours into the new year. Dammit! It was a good day too. My niece and nephews finally got to play the Switch they got for Christmas because my one nephew has been sick. Later on my whole family ate together at the table which we never usually do because it's always...

So far so good today.

Someone mentioned H.A.L.T.B.S., adding on Bored and Stressed. Ha, yes, HALT BS is right. I have bad feelings about myself, which a lot of that is because I'm a porn addict. And then ironically I look at porn which compounds the shame. But often I just look at porn because I'm bored I think...

I looked at porn the last 2 nights. Or maybe it is one big night. I was so tired from having to get up early for Christmas Eve because we had our bigger family Christmas then at my aunt's house. Then I didn't get much sleep that night either and had to get up even earlier for Christmas. I ended...

I've heard that from someone else. I may have to stop using Reddit until I'm really out of this. Which stinks but I have to admit it has been a trigger before more than a few times. There are triggers everywhere but I can limit them when I can.

I think it's a balance between being kind to yourself but also holding yourself accountable. If you do something you feel is wrong or that you didn't want to do you might think "Damn, I'm an idiot." or that you're a piece of shit or bad, etc. But that's not really being accountable, it's just...

I ended up relapsing that next night. It was my own fault, I should have been more alert. There was a surprising vid on Reddit from TikTok where a girl was skinny, flat-chested but turned to the side and had a big nice ass. I could have just left it there but I searched her username and saw she...

I'm feeling it deep down. That subtle thing. But why listen to it? And yet I'm getting the feeling that "It's inevitable so why fight it?" But why is it inevitable? It doesn't have to be. I'm not just trying to cut back on porn here. The aim is to quit it forever. So I'll just ignore the...

Still going strong, not even an urge. But maybe that's not going strong, maybe getting an urge but choosing not to engage is a better sign. We'll see. I hope this continues. Recently had some amazing personal news and am feeling hopeful in my life a way I haven't in years.

The last 2 days have been fine. Trying to keep busy. Everyone's sick here and I might be getting it too. I got the flu vaccine yesterday though so maybe it's just that. But as far as porn I'm keeping my nose (dick?) clean.

Dang. Once again. Was it because I missed one day not being here? I talked about addiction and these forums in therapy today. Maybe that triggered it. Well, back at it.

Today was good. No porn or thoughts to do it. Which is good a day after relapsing, didn't feel the chaser. I've been keeping occupied with games and watching a bunch of episodes of a show with my mom. I also took off my hair replacement system and cleaned it, etc. which took some time.

Well I just relapsed again, this time it was for like 4 hours. I'm not sure what brought it on. I was playing a game, Tis-100 which is a coding game, no visuals. But all of the sudden it came out of nowhere. I tried the NoFap Panic Button. I clicked a bunch of times but nothing really helped. It...