Man_in_30s_trying_to_quit_from_last_10years

GeminiMan

Well-Known Member
Thanks for your encouraging words . Yes I am into self pity sometimes and judge my abilities to come out sober in my life . This bad habit loop has indeed destroyed my self confidence , I try not to label myself a “loser” and stay positive , even if I relapse time and time again . I guess we should realize that it has nothing to do with who we are , but rather about how our brain is been programmed because of the large number of choices we have made through our addicted life

yes , knowledge and self awareness and discipline is the key to change your choices and building new habits , only that can replace old ones and get us sober .
Good luck
MI30s
 

Larrymagoo

New Member
Hi mate, maybe try using the app detoxify. I have it on both my phone and computer. If you try to view porn it asks for a pin which you can get someone you trust to set for you. Helps me not looking when I go to bed and browse around internet on my phone. I'm sure if I try hard enough I could find a way round it. Good luck with your struggle. I'm also curious with the sexting, is this people you know or a service provided by a phone sex company?
 

GeminiMan

Well-Known Member
I have tried asking my partner for help . She used to help my by setting pin codes and stuff on my phone to help me . But not anymore. I always found a way around the phone security codes and would end up in PMO or texting . I feel it did not work for me . Now the ownership is solely on me since my partner said she doesn’t trust me anymore with this recovery and says I have been acting out like a recovering guy but secretly into bad habits . So yeah it’s a enormous change that needs to happen in my life all on my own .after each relapse , sobriety, It feels like an impossible mountain to climb . I still have hopes alive in my mind so I am here in this forum .
Feels like you are alone fighting an entire army of 300 soldiers.

all that said I feel it is possible to recover and get sober . I have started letting my loneliness go away in this fight by surrendering to god and praying and asking for help . Atleast it helps me feel supported even if there is no one around and fills hope in me each time I pray .

day 1 today and marching out again in search or reboot success
Good luck to all of you.
God bless you all to heal and come out sober
 
Hello friend. Have you read Your Brain on Porn by Gary Wilson? It really clarifies why we have cravings and what we need to do to stop them. It's hard wired into our brains to keep going back to our addiction. So unless we cut it off it'll be very difficult to come out the other side...
 

GeminiMan

Well-Known Member
Hello,

I have not read the book yet. I will read it cover to cover and try to understand it. Thanks for suggesting.
MI30S
 

zackergeet

Active Member
Hello man! Don’t worry about the relapse, when I had mine what I did was not to post anymore for a while I felt ashamed and embarrassed that I did not continue. I should have continued writing. So analyze everything that made relapse and understand for real how bad PMO is. Unfortunately P is not an option for me since this gave PIED, and it is the worse. If you need help just message me we are here for you. Let’s heal once for all.
 

GeminiMan

Well-Known Member
I had a relapse today on 7/23 and I will be starting over from tomorrow . About to complete “your brain on porn book”
 

GeminiMan

Well-Known Member
I keep relapsing to chat rooms I am targeting 90 days hard mode but not able to attain it .forget 90 days I haven’t even made it past 10 days in recent years.
I recently listened to the audio book “breaking the cycle” from George Collins ma . It was insightful and gives you some tools to increase chances of your recovery from a psychological counseling side . Do read it . It’s a good read/listen . I am on day 1 today after my recent relapse yesterday to chat rooms.
stay sober , stay happy
MI30s
 

GeminiMan

Well-Known Member
Hello Rebooters,
hope y'all making some progress. I was down in trenches yesterday and so trying to get up this time and with a new vow.
There's only 101 days left in 2021 and if not now its never. I am going with this idea that I will never get to live 100 sober days in 2021 ever again if I relapse again before the new years day on 01/01/2022. So here I am on day 1. Join me and let us all march to 100 days of sobriety towards Jan-01-2022.
I will not post every day because I am out of sight when not relapsed so next time I will log on will be on 01/01/2022 to post that I indeed never did PMO/never sexted/never succumbed into anything immoral except "sex with my wife" That to me will be a significant achievement , one that I haven't attained in last 10 years.
LETS GO!!!
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Hello Rebooters,
hope y'all making some progress. I was down in trenches yesterday and so trying to get up this time and with a new vow.
There's only 101 days left in 2021 and if not now its never. I am going with this idea that I will never get to live 100 sober days in 2021 ever again if I relapse again before the new years day on 01/01/2022. So here I am on day 1. Join me and let us all march to 100 days of sobriety towards Jan-01-2022.
I will not post every day because I am out of sight when not relapsed so next time I will log on will be on 01/01/2022 to post that I indeed never did PMO/never sexted/never succumbed into anything immoral except "sex with my wife" That to me will be a significant achievement , one that I haven't attained in last 10 years.
LETS GO!!!
I'm in, definitely. 113 days would be.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Hello man! Don’t worry about the relapse, when I had mine what I did was not to post anymore for a while I felt ashamed and embarrassed that I did not continue. I should have continued writing. So analyze everything that made relapse and understand for real how bad PMO is. Unfortunately P is not an option for me since this gave PIED, and it is the worse. If you need help just message me we are here for you. Let’s heal once for all.
I can relate to that. After relapsing, I would want to take long breaks from coming here but in the end I had to return soon because without a community like this it's difficult.
 

GeminiMan

Well-Known Member
Day 3 today
I realize it’s important to revisit here to seek and fill up your motivation tank to ride out the next few days of sober living .so I guess I will keep visiting here until the goal is achieved .
So all those who are with me let us end 2021 with 100 days of sober living in 2021 without any traces of PMO until 01/01/2022
LETS KEEP MARCHING !!!
 

GeminiMan

Well-Known Member
So I succumbed to chat rooms last night and that was end of this reboot . I feel like kicking myself. I don’t know when I will master the art of self control and disciplined life . I M restarting my reboot from today and I will make clean streak of 95 clean days without any traces of chat rooms or PMO in 2021 this is my last chance to make 95 days in 2021.

HERE I GO AGAIN !

this time I will seize control in those moments when my mind is ready to sink me and I am about to succumb to bad internet behavior before I start any type of actions and consciously and deliberately divert my attention to another hobby or work my way out of vulnerable situations into safety to help me make progress .
Please cheer for me .
MI30S
 
Hey man! You've got this!

It's so tough to stay on track (I'm struggling pretty badly myself) but each time you relapse, you get back up and try again. I'm sure there is some great quite about that being bravery. It's so much easier to just stay down and go with our urges but you keep fighting & eventually (so I'm told) the mess ups get further and further apart.

I hope this helps. This may be more for me. You have a forum of guys cheering you on. Keep going
 

GeminiMan

Well-Known Member
Hey man! You've got this!

It's so tough to stay on track (I'm struggling pretty badly myself) but each time you relapse, you get back up and try again. I'm sure there is some great quite about that being bravery. It's so much easier to just stay down and go with our urges but you keep fighting & eventually (so I'm told) the mess ups get further and further apart.

I hope this helps. This may be more for me. You have a forum of guys cheering you on. Keep going
Thank you squidward81
 

GeminiMan

Well-Known Member
I have been thinking of ways to stop myself in those most vulnerable moments .
I think it helps to meditate and visualize the next time you are so vulnerable and how you would get yourself to safety and thwart any possibility of relapse . I am going to do that to help my next fight against relapsing moments .

I feel the practice of self control will go a long way when it is actually war time inside our minds.
 

GeminiMan

Well-Known Member
I again succumbed to chat rooms today :( . I will be restarting a reboot from tomorrow and I will reap the 88 day clean streak this time to hit January 1st 2021 with a 88 day clean streak milestone .
I know I maybe sounding like a joke right now .
but I could not stop myself i tried god knows :(

I will keep trying and get atleast an 88 day clean streak jn 2021 . I have to do this now or never .

things I did better last time was I kept telling myself I will take control in those vulnerable moments and I did once … but by second time the urges hit me In no time I was on bad websites and that too after unblocking router each time as I know all passwords . I would see that monster prepping up my mind to go to bad sites I would fight those thoughts off and then there you go the urge is back next day to break the rules I ward it off all again with some scathes , and then BAM!!! it comes back with a HUGE urge inside my mind the third day of fight and then I go went down succumbing today : (

restarting towards 88 day clean streak in 2021 from tomorrow morning. This time I will not loose . I promise to myself
 
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