brook trout11
Member
I have been in recovery for several years. I have struggled with internet porn for several years. Having internet access and a private space can be challenging for me. Working in a cubicle environment was helpful for my recovery. Working from home during the pandemic with no one home has been challenging for me.
I go to SAA meetings once a week, as my schedule allows. I have a sponsor. I guess I thought it could not hurt to try joining Reboot Nation, as it sounds like it has been proven to be an effective online support community. I have Covenant Eyes on my phone, which helps. Since it appears that I will have to continue working from home for an extended period—I saw yet again that I need help. My current approach is not working. I can’t stay on the right path alone. And, I know that life can be so much bigger without porn. I guess if I have to work from home and have internet access, when no one is around sometimes – I need to reach out for help when I am online. I am hoping this support and accountability will help me stay porn-free.
My signing up with Reboot Nation is an amend to myself. (And, using the 3 R’s of making an amend— Responsibility, Remorse & Restitution---e.g. 1. I was wrong when I…. 2. Use an “I” statement that shows that I understand why my actions resulted in a harm and the possible consequences of the harm. 3. Then, offer whatever restitution might appropriate. Then, maybe ask the person—is there anything else that I can do? And, just listen.)
I am sorry that I wasted so much time and my life by looking at yet another video of….
I harmed myself and many others in my life by not getting my work done sometimes and not being available to my sons, wife, and myself since I was lost in shame after slipping.
I can make amends to myself and others in my life by asking for the help that I need to not look at porn. Hopefully, sharing my story will also help reduce the shame and isolation that I have because of this addiction.
Did I use porn today? No, I have not used porn today.
What were my triggers? My addiction has a variety of triggers—but, I suppose one common one is—anxiety—I worry about starting and finishing a task for work.
How did I soothe my anxiety—I listened to some solo piano or classical music. I said a prayer before beginning my task. I reminded myself of a funny saying from a co-worker—confusion rocks! It is a sign that you are learning something new. So, instead of trying to run away or escape from that anxious feeling in my body—and that tight feeling in my chest and the shallow breathing—I try to see that as a sign to welcome and embrace—as it is a sign that I am learning something new. Also, I made a very short list of things to do—once, I work on that and start a draft or even finish it—then, I can move on to the next task. This makes my work more manageable and helps me focus on just one thing at a time instead of maybe getting anxious if my list is too long. To start my day, I also said a 3rd Step prayer, asking that my actions be guided by the wisdom of the Buddha and the 12 Steps. And, I meditated. I ran 3 miles.
What am I grateful for today?
I have 2 beautiful, healthy sons. I am l lucky to be married to a loving, smart, kind, and supportive wife. I have a home, a pretty good job (and a kind boss), and loving brothers and sisters.
Today is Day 2 – PMO free : ) Thanks for your support.
I go to SAA meetings once a week, as my schedule allows. I have a sponsor. I guess I thought it could not hurt to try joining Reboot Nation, as it sounds like it has been proven to be an effective online support community. I have Covenant Eyes on my phone, which helps. Since it appears that I will have to continue working from home for an extended period—I saw yet again that I need help. My current approach is not working. I can’t stay on the right path alone. And, I know that life can be so much bigger without porn. I guess if I have to work from home and have internet access, when no one is around sometimes – I need to reach out for help when I am online. I am hoping this support and accountability will help me stay porn-free.
My signing up with Reboot Nation is an amend to myself. (And, using the 3 R’s of making an amend— Responsibility, Remorse & Restitution---e.g. 1. I was wrong when I…. 2. Use an “I” statement that shows that I understand why my actions resulted in a harm and the possible consequences of the harm. 3. Then, offer whatever restitution might appropriate. Then, maybe ask the person—is there anything else that I can do? And, just listen.)
I am sorry that I wasted so much time and my life by looking at yet another video of….
I harmed myself and many others in my life by not getting my work done sometimes and not being available to my sons, wife, and myself since I was lost in shame after slipping.
I can make amends to myself and others in my life by asking for the help that I need to not look at porn. Hopefully, sharing my story will also help reduce the shame and isolation that I have because of this addiction.
Did I use porn today? No, I have not used porn today.
What were my triggers? My addiction has a variety of triggers—but, I suppose one common one is—anxiety—I worry about starting and finishing a task for work.
How did I soothe my anxiety—I listened to some solo piano or classical music. I said a prayer before beginning my task. I reminded myself of a funny saying from a co-worker—confusion rocks! It is a sign that you are learning something new. So, instead of trying to run away or escape from that anxious feeling in my body—and that tight feeling in my chest and the shallow breathing—I try to see that as a sign to welcome and embrace—as it is a sign that I am learning something new. Also, I made a very short list of things to do—once, I work on that and start a draft or even finish it—then, I can move on to the next task. This makes my work more manageable and helps me focus on just one thing at a time instead of maybe getting anxious if my list is too long. To start my day, I also said a 3rd Step prayer, asking that my actions be guided by the wisdom of the Buddha and the 12 Steps. And, I meditated. I ran 3 miles.
What am I grateful for today?
I have 2 beautiful, healthy sons. I am l lucky to be married to a loving, smart, kind, and supportive wife. I have a home, a pretty good job (and a kind boss), and loving brothers and sisters.
Today is Day 2 – PMO free : ) Thanks for your support.
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