My journal, my friend

imsorrynotsorry

Active Member
Hey guys,

it's 793 days now and this is our first day of vacation. Lying in bed, family sleeping, i feel like i 'deserve' some 'input' (in terms of P). To realize that this is an very old urge that wants to lead me into that old dark place is crazy for me. The addiction is still here and the moment when it is saying 'hi' is really dangerous. But, i recognised it and said no, i instead came here to check on you guys. Still, this forum is giving me motivation to go on and i encourage everybody to support Gabe Deem on patreon with around 3$ per month, or what it is. I will reach 800 and i will reach 1000 one day! It's been so long now, i tend to forget that i was an active addict for around 20 years, suffering from symptoms.

positive energy to everybody!

imsor
 

imsorrynotsorry

Active Member
Hey guys,

i'm back to let you know what's up on my side. In general i feel good. Son and wife are well, we have a lot of fun with our son. He's about to learn to walk, amazing time.
When we became parents my wife and i asked ourselfs, what do children need in general? After some articles, books and documentaries later i found what i was looking for. There is this german guy, Herbert Renz-Polster, who's a doctor for children. He said in one documentary, that a child needs only three things:
- security
- recognition
- the feeling to belong to someone (parents)

When i think back to my childhood i find years where 'recognition' and 'feeling of belonging' weren't there. Mostly i missed those two from my father's side. After my parents got divorced something went wrong, i know that. And that is the root cause for what made me an PMO-addict. I was also overwhelmed with the new situation. This will never go away. I just want to make it better with my son.

all the best to you guys

Imsor
 

imsorrynotsorry

Active Member
Hey guys,

nothing out of the ordinary here. Son and wife are ok, i'm a bit sick lately, cold or sth.

I'm here to write down one thing i came across:
Getting away from an addiction is seeing the profit of work from today in the future. You know what i mean?
Thousands of years ago, in the nature humans lived more in the moment. Sometimes they thought of future threats, but mostly they only cared about today. The ability to think ahead is something that a human has to learn. It doesn't come with our genes. So, what if you didn't really learned about that when you we're young, then it would be harder for you to work against something that is promising you good feelings right now? Even though you know it feels worse afterwards.

What do you think? Is that making it harder for you? Do you see parallels in your life?

all the best to you guys
Imsor
 
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