Advice

[harpoon]

So over the past week i have been hooking up with a woman i know, shes married, and has kids. We generally always hook up after drinks, i dont know if its the thrill of the chase or what but it had always been after alcohol. It was always fun and kind of living out a fantasy.

So i met her one day, not drunk, and not hungover. I wanted to find out what i felt. I dont know if it was the fact that i'm off porn and my body is basically in shock or what but i felt very little, i felt like i was using her.

Years ago before we started messing around, i genuinely liked her and found her mysterious or something. I wont lie, at that time i had feelings for her.

But last night i met her at her house (her husband had gone away for the night) i walked in to the house and noticed all these photos of the kids, i felt horrible, it felt was wrong. Eventually we messed around a bit and i left. I dont know if i wanted her but i did say what i thought she wanted to hear. I dont know why i did that. Well i guess i wanted more opportunities to fuck around. To me the person that i liked is gone. Maybe i'm just so fucked with porn no one would every be good enough.

I did say to her that one day i might have to say goodbye to her forever, which upset her but i think it may be true.

I dunno, i always wanted to fall in love, but this aint love, It seems to be lust on her side and i'm using her to fill the void left by porn, so its fn ridiculous.

Anyway its just bullshit and lies and whats the point in damaging a marraige even more for that?

Anyway, if any1 has any insights into that i'd appreciate it, i cant think straight atm.

 

[Fappy]

if youre using her as a substitute for porn, even if she wasnt married with kids, its not very good is it. its sort of playing to the way porn absue has caused you to objectify women and see them only as sex objects. im guessing if you end it with her youll feel better about yourself.

 

[harpoon]

Thanks for reply Fappy

Yes, i know your right, thats all i do now, objectify woman. Its sad. I remember when i was free of porn for a few months and i could actually notice a smile. Porn is just bad. But yes, i did end it and while feel a little shit, i wasnt willing to cause pain to a family just to get my kicks for a few weeks and then say, its not you its me shite.