I want to live.

tay97

Active Member
Day 12 ✅ No P (Day 26 since I started the fight and journal)

I was looking through 9gag.com because I needed some laughs and holy shit it's a mine field there. So much porn in the funny section, and in the comments people also post memes or gifs that are basically porn. I feel a pull towards it. It's brutal. Need to get off this site and the internet in general.

I want a girlfriend.
 

TryingHarder

Well-Known Member
Yes, it sometimes seems that porn and erotica are everywhere. Doesn't help that there are so many avenues to see this stuff, even when you're just surfing for whatever.
 

tay97

Active Member
Day 13 ✅ No P (Day 27 since I started the fight and journal)

It's really tough rn. I feel the urge to look up P pictures of woman. I feel like a looser without friends and a partner. The little monster sees that I am vulnerable and he wants to get back in. Haha sorry, buddy. Even in this pathetic state of me, you will never be a part of me again.

I also MO'd twice today but it was challenging to get my fantasy in my head going. I feel like I thought of every sexual encounter that I ever had. Maybe this is the reason why I am drifting a little bit to the tought of porn. Interesting.
 

tay97

Active Member
I keep failing with abstaining from digital media and surfing in general. Is anybody else trying the same and what are your experiences?
 
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Simon2

Well-Known Member
I made a new years's resolution to stop watching any videos on facebook (it was a huge timesink before) and have pretty much kept to it. It's really helped me. So maybe choosing ONE thing other than porn of course that you waste a lot of time on and make a resolution to not look it up anymore?
 

TryingHarder

Well-Known Member
I keep failing with abstaining from digital media and surfing in general. Does anybody else is trying the same and what are your experiences?
This is really common - the entire world is mildly (or strongly) addicted to the internet. I do my best to limit my time loitering on the internet, and it's not easy. I even find coming to this forum too often a bit of a problem!

One thing that I am totally strict about is turning off all screens at least 30 minutes before bed and never looking at my cell phone first thing in the morning. Maybe try to limit your time on the internet to specific tasks (banking, online shopping, reading news) and then when the task is done, log off. Otherwise, the endless scrolling and browsing can be (at best) a real time-waster and (at worse) could lead back to porn.

I can recommend a book called The Digital Diet by Daniel Sieberg.
 

ADFECTATIO

Member
Maybe have a look at the stuff from Cal Newport. I would recommend reading "Deep Work" before "Digital Minimalism".
There is an Easyway book by Allen Carr for this topic as well, which I am reading at the moment "Smart Phone, Dumb Phone".
 

tay97

Active Member
This is really common - the entire world is mildly (or strongly) addicted to the internet. I do my best to limit my time loitering on the internet, and it's not easy. I even find coming to this forum too often a bit of a problem!

One thing that I am totally strict about is turning off all screens at least 30 minutes before bed and never looking at my cell phone first thing in the morning. Maybe try to limit your time on the internet to specific tasks (banking, online shopping, reading news) and then when the task is done, log off. Otherwise, the endless scrolling and browsing can be (at best) a real time-waster and (at worse) could lead back to porn.

I can recommend a book called The Digital Diet by Daniel Sieberg.
Literally everything requires the use of the internet nowadays. Humans are not made for this kind of information overload. We have the exact same body as the first homo sapiens ~ 300.000 years ago.

Thanks for the reminder that I can use a timer. I will do that from now on. And thanks for the book recommendation, I will look into it!
 

Recovery Will Come

Active Member
I keep failing with abstaining from digital media and surfing in general. Is anybody else trying the same and what are your experiences?
I definitely will advise to delete social media… I would have never gotten far in my reboot with out deleting every social media app… Only use YouTube and created my separate YouTube account specifically for the my reboot and only motivational videos and music…. Trust me that works wonders
 

tay97

Active Member
Maybe have a look at the stuff from Cal Newport. I would recommend reading "Deep Work" before "Digital Minimalism".
There is an Easyway book by Allen Carr for this topic as well, which I am reading at the moment "Smart Phone, Dumb Phone".
I have seen some interviews of Newport. Good stuff.

I already switched to a dumpphone over a month ago, but thanks, nevertheless!
 

tay97

Active Member
I definitely will advise to delete social media… I would have never gotten far in my reboot with out deleting every social media app… Only use YouTube and created my separate YouTube account specifically for the my reboot and only motivational videos and music…. Trust me that works wonders
I agree 100%. There is no way around it. I still have an YouTube account but I use the Unhook extension which blocks suggestions (Very helpful!). Other than that, I don't have anything else, but I keep browsing reddit and 9gag without an account for instance.
 

tay97

Active Member
Day 14 ✅ No P (Day 28 since I started the fight and journal)

Two weeks of no p. The second week was more challenging. The little monster inside my head tried his best to lure me back into the rot. That means that the reboot works and the cleaning of my brain has begun. I am free of this shit and I love this. There is not one single pro argument for consuming porn but countless con arguments for why it destroys every aspect of your life. Never going back. Freedom feels fantastic. ✅
 

tay97

Active Member
I was looking for phone sex as I thought that it isn't harmful the way pics, videos or sexting are. Couldn't find anyone on the internet so I just MO'ed. I think it is just as bad as the other things. The little monster is desperately wants back in. I need to be more mindful.
 
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tay97

Active Member
I am going to change the course of my reboot once again. This time back to NO PMO /Hard Mode.

The constant thoughts that I had about woman and their bodies on the streets or in the gym in the last 2 weeks ... I just can't take this anymore. It's so frustrating to see all these beautiful woman, just for me to go home, be lonely and sexually frustrated and eventually jerk off (without porn). I am objectifying them and it's not good for my mind.

I need to change. I am just afraid to to something stupid while on hard mode, like hooking up with some stranger just for sex.

😞
 

tay97

Active Member
Day 15 ✅ No P
Day 01 ✅ No MO

(Day 29 since I started the fight and journal)

I went for a walk this morning and read a little while sitting in the sun. I was very horny. A lot of sexual thoughts. At home I was browsing some 9gag and I came across SFW pictures of girls. Then, I looked them up on google until I realized that this behaviour is bad. I have blocked this site now for good.

I keep fantasizing about literally every woman I see outside. Did anybody else struggle with this too? And when did it get better? What can I do other than abstaining from PMO to not be such a creep?
 

tay97

Active Member
Day 16 ✅ No P
Day 02 ✅ No MO

(Day 30 since I started the fight and journal)

Crazy dreams and thoughts about sex mainly with same-sex. Also, some loose thoughts about hooking up with someone through an app. I have to remember why I gave away my smartphone in the first place. These things never made me happy midterm and they devalue other people as sexual objects that I could use whenever I want. This is a bad.

You want sex? Go out and meet people, get to know them and develop a natural desire for real intimacy. It's neither good nor healthy to go on an app, exchange nude photos within 10 minutes and meet someone just for sexual pleasure, only to go home depressed.
 

tay97

Active Member
Day 19 ✅ No P
Day 05 ✅ No MO

(Day 33 since I started the fight and journal)

Horny like a bull in the mornings with a lot of thoughts about sex, fantasies and scenarios. Much more calm during the day.
 
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