36, PIED, new plan

logicprox

Well-Known Member
8 days. Felt like using PMO a bunch of times last night, and woke up in the middle of the night and wanted to use again. I didn't.

I kind of tore the mask off of my PMO use earlier this year. I used to feel like it was out of my control but that just simply isn't true. It's a choice. It's always a choice. It may be a choice I want to make really badly, but it's a choice.

It actually kind of sucks to know that, cause it takes away the excuses and puts responsibility on my shoulders and nowhere else. But it's the truth.

There's plenty of good reasons for me not to use PMO, but this is one more. To learn to take control of my life instead of following the path of least resistance to an empty and unsatisfactory life.
 

SmokenMirrors

Well-Known Member
8 days. Felt like using PMO a bunch of times last night, and woke up in the middle of the night and wanted to use again. I didn't.

I kind of tore the mask off of my PMO use earlier this year. I used to feel like it was out of my control but that just simply isn't true. It's a choice. It's always a choice. It may be a choice I want to make really badly, but it's a choice.

It actually kind of sucks to know that, cause it takes away the excuses and puts responsibility on my shoulders and nowhere else. But it's the truth.

There's plenty of good reasons for me not to use PMO, but this is one more. To learn to take control of my life instead of following the path of least resistance to an empty and unsatisfactory life.
Its great to see you pushed through! Those nights are very hard to get through, you've done an incredible job king
 

logicprox

Well-Known Member
I am back at 1 day. I MOed to some soft-ish material on Wednesday. But doesn't matter what the material is, obviously. Still fantasy nonsense, so I have reset. Didn't mean to skip posting that day, just have been busy the last couple of days.

Disappointing but forward is all there is. Thursday was fine other than just being annoyed with myself.
 

logicprox

Well-Known Member
2 days. So. I traveled for work a couple weeks ago, and there was a fair bit of drinking, work happy hours and such. Halloween parties brought more drinking. I have fallen off track after drinking enough times that it is now clear that it can be a trigger for me. I am figuring out what to do with that. I don't generally drink often, or consider it problematic in my life...except in regards to PMO.

It didn't help being out of town trashed my routine generally. I'll be traveling for work again next week and will likely be more of the same in terms of alcohol.

The thing is, I still made a conscious choice to use every time I did. I generally wasn't hammered or anything, just a little buzzed. For the moment, I'm not taking any significant action on this, but we will see how this next work trip goes. I would hope that I could just make better decisions...but I'll do what I have to do to stop using,
 

Blondie

Respected Member
You know what I love about you? You just keep coming back. So you've slipped up a few times over the course of this year (I've done that so many times I wouldn't want to admit it!) but here you are, still kicking and giving the middle finger to porn. I hope you realize how cool that is.

Keep going brother, don't ever think you're not "making progress".

Best
 

logicprox

Well-Known Member
OK guys. I went out of town for work two days after my last post and I didn't do too hot while I was out of town. I didn't completely fall apart, and I haven't been on a PMO binge since then but I did have some slips after returning home too. I honestly just haven't gotten my focus back since that work trip, including not coming back here and not getting my routine back. But I'm back. I won't be traveling for work until sometime next year I think.

So time to make myself bulletproof before I do. Morning routine is back. Including stuff like making my bed. I just re-deleted instagram from my phone (I have had it for the past few months). Going to replace my evening TV/movie before bed (another bad habit I redeveloped over the past few months) with working on music production or reading.

2022 was, despite the flailings for the past few months, the best year trying to break this chain that I have had since it all started. 2023 will be better. But to make sure of that, I need to start now.
 
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