Ive Swornoff
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  • Just checking in. I'm still chugging along at 9.5 months. There are signs things are probably better down there. Haven't had much opportunity to "test" that. Occasionally tempted to try P ... "just once" to see if at least I've come THAT far that P would do it again, but ... no. Not going to do that.
    Yesterday makes 6 months p*** free.
    3
    3rdJohn
    Ive— that is fantastic. Keep going brother! every day free is a day of healing for your brain and psyche.
    Today is day 163 with no porn. The PIED is still strong. In recent weeks I have had 2 occasions where it barely started to stir due to either a tame visual stimulus ... and once it was I think just a warm electric blanket. Very subtle encouraging signs. But I am afraid I have a long, long way to go yet.
    Day 120. A milestone to be celebrated. And hey, this afternoon I did start to become aroused at a visual suggestion of femininity -- not electronic. Encouraging. First time in a long time.
    Perhaps it is time to start rewiring.
    Ive Swornoff
    Ive Swornoff
    Maybe. I was kind of waiting until I saw any signs of actually being aroused by anything. I mean other than the thing we're avoiding like the plague here.
    Day 112 ... still going. No real change.
    Ive Swornoff
    Ive Swornoff
    It had always been quite high until about 10 years ago. The desire was still there even until my reboot. 10 years ago I lost the ability to keep it up for real sex, and for the next 7 years while my usage increased and got more intense, no issues staying hard for porn, either. Further increase in intensity and use over the next few years slowly eroded to not being able to even get hard for porn.
    Ive Swornoff
    Ive Swornoff
    Oh ... Benefits from rebooting? I have time to do more constructive things now. Other than that, nothing yet. I have a feeling that I am going to be a long hauler. I've heard some people take a couple years or more. I'm really hoping it doesn't take that long. But if that's what it takes... Not going back.
    M
    MoreCoinfident
    Yeah man i also sufffer from low libido and ED thats why im on reboot day 66
    I joined quite a way into my journey here . I noticed about 45 or so days in that my nighttime involuntary erections are about every night now and have been since. And they last a long while. So all of the physiological things work. It's just mental. My libido is still practically zero. Advantage of this is I hardly even care about porn anymore. Disadvantage is ... zero is not really the goal, is it?
    So 85 days. Urges have been piping up a bit more lately, maybe to about a "4" ... but I still have plenty of will to shut them down. I'm pretty pissed off about what I've done to myself by watching all this crap for years and desensitizing my brain. That's what keeps me going. That kind of anger at the situation. That and the longer the streak goes the more I don't want to break it.
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