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  1. I

    I want the second chance for normal life

    Here is what we have after the weekend: I still have not done anything constructive in terms of job search and preparation for interviews. Even though I do not have any interview so far, I do not want to be caught off guard and to prepare quickly with huge stress and anxiety. Obviously, I am...
  2. I

    Escape Velocity - Orbiters Journal

    We all have such moments when we want to start tomorrow and just relax now. Sometimes it is difficult to control it, especially when you already have erection and porn is just in two clicks out of reach. One thing that I think you might do is to install an adult content protection extension in...
  3. I

    I want the second chance for normal life

    Some other thoughts here: I compared myself with my friend, who I really love and admire, and I saw some striking differences between us: He does not let any failure ruin his motivation and desire to achieve his goals, so he says it was a good experience which taught me smth. Although I try to...
  4. I

    I want the second chance for normal life

    @Orbiter Thank you for your insight, my friend. Sometimes people can better judge about a problem from outside because we are too obsessed with some thoughts that we cannot evaluate the situation correctly ourselves. I do agree with you about the idea that you have just brought. I am a...
  5. I

    I want the second chance for normal life

    After the last post, I do not have many news. The last week has been very passive and non-productive. Instead of concentrating on something constructive, I was playing video games almost all day long. Hardly applied anywhere. I noticed that as I play and attain goals in these online games, my...
  6. I

    I want the second chance for normal life

    Not many things to mention here. I did not do sports for one week or so because I was preparing for my certification exam. I studied all days long to show the best result, and took the test. But I failed by mere 1-2 percent. I would have never ever failed this kind of tests before. This is a...
  7. I

    I want the second chance for normal life

    @Orbiter I am sure that this is the effect of porn because I never liked guys and I never watched gay porn. Regarding transgenders, I think that it is some kind of ill fantasy that came into my mind because of porn. I try my best to isolate myself from the thoughts related to sex, but they still...
  8. I

    I want the second chance for normal life

    Okay I have to tell it. The last two days were really awful in terms of productivity. I did not sleep good yesterday night and could not concentrate at all throughout the day. So, the day was wasted. And then I downloaded a game I used to play before and played it all day yesterday and today...
  9. I

    I want the second chance for normal life

    @Orbiter @Freerider thank you men, your support gives me additional strength to move forward! I already applied to bunch of companies, and even though I have not got any positive response yet, I can clearly see that I am on a positive track. I also continue with push-ups and squats. The...
  10. I

    I want the second chance for normal life

    A couple of days ago, I had a wet dream. I am not sure whether it happened due to the relatively long period of PMO or because I was super tired for the previous days. But the concentration of sperm was very bad, probably because of long time without ejaculation. It would be good to have...
  11. I

    I want the second chance for normal life

    Thank you for the support, @Orbiter, it means a lot to me! Yes, I still can see the traces of my old addictive behaviour which I can deal with so far. I continue my streak of days without porn and masturbation, but I do not count them. I should be close to two weeks now. I feel more pressure...
  12. I

    I want the second chance for normal life

    Yesterday I had another dream, but this time with super famous pornstars who I watched all the time having sex in different positions. It was so vivid as if I watched in the reality. I do not understand why I have these dreams because I had a lot of periods of 2 weeks or so without porn and...
  13. I

    I want the second chance for normal life

    Today in the morning I had a dream, and while I do not remember the details, I remember that the subject of my desire was a lady in her 40s from middle-eastern origin with three children and huge breasts. She lived in a European or North American country and was not religious. I do not remember...
  14. I

    I want the second chance for normal life

    Yes, it surely is one of the instincts that was developed by our ancestors throughout many years, and even though we have our bad habits for 20 years or more, I am sure that this problem can be cured. Just need to be sure that we make continuous efforts and do not relapse. Otherwise, we will be...
  15. I

    Escape Velocity - Orbiters Journal

    Maybe you will try to stay outdoors and find some hobbies in order to be away from home where you are usually prone to relapse? And you will go home just to sleep?
  16. I

    I want the second chance for normal life

    Another observation: throughout this week, I noticed that sometimes I want to masturbate, and yes, not to have sex, NO! I have done it so much in my life that now my sexual desires are associated not with a real sex, but with masturbation. But this desire is psychological, not physical, I do not...
  17. I

    I want the second chance for normal life

    Two observations which I wanted to write here are the following: 1. I noticed that I watch only some crazy types of porn, normal porn does not stimulate me at all. I get excited by interracial porn where a white girl is totally dominated by a black man of a huge size, or by the videos of...
  18. I

    I want the second chance for normal life

    Here we go again. After some time of abstinence, I am back. However, no good news to share. Only negative vibes. Let us start from what we have. The only consistency I have is in bad habits - I constistently masturbate, even though not as often as before - the reason is probably PIED and low...
  19. I

    I want the second chance for normal life

    81 days without PMO 💪 This has been my longest streak since I started masturbating. I had urges to watch porn or to masturbate today, but somehow I managed to overcome this feeling. Maybe 1 week ago, I almost had a wet dream, but managed to awake and stop it in the last moment. Other than that...
  20. I

    I want the second chance for normal life

    Haha this is exactly what I did before. When I masturbated once, I thought that the day was already ruined, the streak was ruined, I had to start over the next day, but today was already gone, and masturbated another three times the same day. I better continue from where I was, but will try to...
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