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God, you articulate all the feelings that go into this SO well. Absolutely relate to everything you’ve said. Hoping for more healing for you!

That is very true. Thank you!

I’ve tried to explain to him that I have betrayal trauma, I’ve asked him to do some research on it so he will have more perspective of why I’m acting the way I do. He did look into it, but in the end he basically said that I need to work on myself to heal the trauma and while I know that is...

Sadly at this point I can’t even trust my own gut instincts. I’m already forever questioning myself. I guess that’s what happens with lying and gaslighting someone for so long 😩

Thank you. It does really suck, the gaslighting, lying etc. does make it feel like I can’t even trust myself. It makes you feel crazy, especially when they try to make you feel bad for even thinking they relapsed. I want to believe him, but given his track record I cannot take his word for it...

I initiate 90% of the time. It kind of becomes exhausting. I’m really glad to hear that some of you are straight forward and honest and don’t lie to your partner about it, as that creates so many more issues.

update: I brought it up to him that I have some suspicions that he has relapsed. It has been met with extreme annoyance, he said he is pissed off that I would even think/or believe that. That he apparently “can’t do anything”. Overall just seems over it and over me for checking in tbh. my gut...

I struggle badly with the fact that my partner fantasizes about and objectifies women daily. I understand that there is intrusive thoughts. What I don’t understand is how they check other women out constantly and then think about them. I’ve always been extremely confident with myself until being...

Awh, I am so sorry and absolutely heartbroken for you. I actually read most of your posts in here, and was bawling over them and many others. It is honestly the hardest thing to go through. Like you said, you don’t know who they are anymore. It is extremely selfish. I’m the same as you when it...

I’ve heard that video game addiction can go hand in hand with porn addiction as well. But I feel that is one of his outlets to relieve stress of daily life, anxiety etc. as well as it’s a hobby of his! (I game as well) I think him using the computer for it would be too much of a pain compared...

Thank you for your reply! He does have a computer, in a room in our basement, it’s mostly used for the games he plays. Usually all of his acting out is done on his phone, since he can use incognito. We’ve recently been doing FANOS check-in’s every few days, and that’s been super reassuring...

Hello, I’m new and found this forum through a support group I’m in! Reading everyone’s stories and threads has been heaps helpful but also heartbreaking. Long story short my partner and I have been together almost 6 years now. D-day was 5 years ago. Since then there’s been lots of hidden use...