Search results

Hey @BrassBalls707, thanks for stopping by! Good to be back. I do have a lot on my mind, as you know this struggle is really humbling. I can see that you're back on the wagon and close to hitting your month one target - good on ya! I hope I get there soon too.

Day 5 - No PMO: Toughest day yet. Not even half way through the day and I've (firmly) decided to relapse 3 or 4 times already. Only thing keeping me from a relapse is the logistics of it all with me being swamped with work and everything. Regardless, that did keep me from relapsing and I guess...

Day 4 - No PMO: The day started off well but I got a few urges as it went on. Nothing I couldn't handle so I am relieved. I do have to stay vigilant as I have a 'pre-urge state' I experience where I start rationalizing a session or find myself planning them in my head when I zone out. A bit of...

Day 3 - No PMO: Passed the first 'mini milestone' of 3 days. It's been good so far, no thoughts about PMO or feelings of deprivation. Although it is way too early in the journey to be making any kind of assumptions about how the trend will be over the next few weeks. I have one sole focus...

Day 2 - No PMO: Another uninspired, uneventful day. Very early on in my journey so I'm not expecting much by way of improvements. But also, another way of looking at it is that I did not watch this filth today, so in a way this day is already better than most days in my life. Everyday without...

Day 1 - No PMO: I've been dabbling with different methods to try and quit PMO-ing. The interesting thing is it feels that every new method I learn causes the addiction to have a tighter grip on me. I've tried AVRT, a variant of SMART, Allen Carr's method (adapted to PMO), The Freedom Model...

Day 0: I am back. 867 days have passed since I first posted under this account. That time I made it to 67 days PMO free. Today, however, I have hit a new low. Unfortunately, what I have learned over the past 2 years, 4 months and 13 days - is that I have no rock bottom. I keep descending in...

Day 4 - No PMO: [07/20/2024] Missed another entry due to my job. Yesterday was a good day except for the odd pangs here and there. I got some of my motivation back and kept thinking of what I would do differently this time around to make it to 90 days. Mood keeps fluctuating between optimism...

Day 3 - No PMO: I feel like I am on a mission...a mission to free myself. Looking back, I feel that most people who started this journey around the time I did (2012-2013), have successfully kicked the habit. At least from the subreddit I used to frequent, it does feel that way. It's scary to...

Day 2 - No PMO: [07/18/2024] The second day was just as uneventful. I had some relapse ruminations with vivid PMO flashbacks but luckily I was still too tired to follow through with it, luckily. I guess just living a sedentary lifestyle, coupled with my job, makes it harder to allocate time to...

Day 1 - No PMO: [07/17/2024] The first day went by relatively smoothly, with the exception of slight urges here and there. I was seriously planning to exercise in order to alleviate the urge as I found myself leaning towards giving into it - but I was so tired from work that I just collapsed...

Day 0: Another day another thread. As per usual, I had a huge relapse that prompted me to try and bring back balance to my life. Since the last time I posted, I have not had any notable streaks, and have been oscillating between the desire to be free and continuing my addiction. I've long...

I'm back for more. I just came out of a nasty binge-relapse where I wasted 4 hours edging to porn. Things are at an all time low over here in more ways than just one. But PMO is one of those things that, even after all this time, I could still single it out as one of the most destructive forces...

1% - No PMO: I logged in tonight and realized that I haven’t put an entry since the end of June. I had a tough night tonight, bingeing for hours like a zombie – most of us know this scenario too well, and only the lucky ones experience it as a sour memory of where they once were. I have trouble...

Day 7 – No PMO: Mood: 4.5/10 Energy: 4/10 Today was better than I expected. I woke up feeling rundown but as the day progressed I started feeling better. Some days I handle my stress/anxiety better than other days. The other piece of good news is that I managed to stay alone at home (and do...

Day 6 - No PMO: Mood: 3/10 Energy: 3/10 Another difficult day, but at least it's almost out of the way now. I keep having OCD flare ups and I just hope this doesn't last too long. Usually this early on in the journey nothing surprises me when it comes to low mood. I've done this enough times to...

Day 5 – No PMO: Mood: 4/10 Energy: 5/10 Today is significantly better than the past couple of days, although I don’t feel great by a long shot. I have some urges to PMO as I have been home alone for a while now. My partner has been going out for work a lot lately and I found that it’s...

Day 4 – No PMO: Mood: 3.5/10 Energy: 3/10 Today has been relatively smooth with no significant OCD attacks to report on. I haven’t had an urge to PMO at all the past 4 days, but not to say that I will be complacent at any point. I expect the next few weeks to be very stressful and therefore...

Thanks @Androg - that's very helpful. I've been looking up a few therapists lately and will probably start seeing one soon. I am however, still resolved to continue the journey of quitting PMO as I know from experience it really helps with my OCD/anxiety. That being said, feeling suicidal is...

Day 3 – No PMO: Mood: 4/10 Energy: 4/10 Today is better than the past 2 days since I (re)started this journey. The first day was one of the most difficult days I had to endure in a long time. I really felt like I am approaching the ‘end’. It is not a fun place to be for sure. In order to combat...