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  1. SimonM

    Moving Forward

    Thank you for sharing. In many ways it mirrors my story, and of many others. We can regain our self-respect on this path! We can.
  2. SimonM

    Holding the Fool (me) to Account

    Three weeks without P. Not bad. Probably better than I've done in a few years. But it's just the start. I am not looking back. Climbing this mountain is tough 0 but the reward, I KNOW, will be worth it. I already feel better about myself - not good - but better.
  3. SimonM

    New Start

    Welcome back! Do you focus on creating intimacy / connection with your wife? Maybe it could help your recovery AND your intimate relationship with her. Think of ways to surprise her, spend time on something she likes to do, cuddle, compliments... etc.
  4. SimonM

    Resuming the clean journey

    Yeah, for me those edging activities usually tend to be the first indiation that I'll relapse fully within a few days. Stay away from them! :)
  5. SimonM

    My Journal from my dark side

    Welcome @Huntilt87. I noticed so many changes when I did my first PMO stint. I hope it's illuminating for you too and I definitely think being part of this community, posting your updates, but also reading about others' experiences will give you a further perspective that may be very helpful.
  6. SimonM

    Another story - probably the same as everyone else

    Excellent! Stay strong brother! :) You inspire as well!
  7. SimonM

    hi, i’m chap :)

    I don't think we should call it square one. Yes it's day 0. But it's day 0 after building strength, new habits, determining to post on this forum, etc from a clean streak. If we can learn from our failures we can keep growing. This is some bad days among some good ones before that. Now tack on...
  8. SimonM

    A solution that will finally work?

    Your thoughts reflect very much how I feel and act... Honesty with ourselves is truly key, and being able to share honestly with a partner can be very strengthening I think. Keep it up this week - getting through a regular routine where you used to fail safely is very powerful I think. Don't...
  9. SimonM

    Holding the Fool (me) to Account

    Yeah, my challenge is to go porn free only. I know that dropping MO is eventually a goal too but at this point I have to take it one step at a time. Having said that I have MOd maybe 4 times in the last month, much better than my 3 to 4 times a week before. I definitely fantasize in porn...
  10. SimonM

    Resuming the clean journey

    That's great Percival! Have a great week without giving in. Having to fess up here also keeps me on the straight and narrow but ultimately we know that we will actually WISH we hadn't given in even if we don't report it here. Our brains are just extremely good at convincing us that this won't be...
  11. SimonM

    Holding the Fool (me) to Account

    It's been a few days but things are going well. I just had a busy weekend. Too busy to get into any sort of temptation almost. Today my wife is away all day and most of the evening. So vigilance is important. I did MO this morning to take the edge off for today. Hopefully that was not a bad...
  12. SimonM


    Focus not just on having sex with your partner but actually healing/building your relationship. Maybe you already are of course. I find that especially when we try to quit porn we sometimes have such a strong need to replace that sexual energy that we really expect, consciously or unconsciously...
  13. SimonM

    Shemale Addiction

    Maybe regaining trust in others needs as a foundation you believing in your own good and self worth? So keep up the fight and be patient. Good things WILL come.
  14. SimonM

    Another story - probably the same as everyone else

    That's great! Rebuilding trust takes time and patience and by giving both to you and your wife you will make your recovery effort that much stronger I think.
  15. SimonM

    Holding the Fool (me) to Account

    I always get worried when I reach this point when I put myself in a really triggering situation (like right now - up way later than my wife in front of the computer) and I barely feel an urge to PMO. I mean that's great, right? That's what I'm aiming for. But I feel like I'm missing...
  16. SimonM

    Journal of my long journey

    Working out is a great way to get dopamine :) ... and pursueing a relationship with a real girl of course. Let me tell you too - I was a young guy once. If I could go back I'd tell that guy to freakin' stay away from porn. What a waste my 20s and 30s were in terms of hours spent on that...
  17. SimonM

    Day 1 again

    Welcome! Let's beat 55 days! Strength brother.
  18. SimonM

    Resuming the clean journey

    Welcome! Thanks for the tips on enforcing safe search! Maybe I should look at that. For a while I blocked certain sites on my router... that was good too. I hope coming here helps you. I was in a similar place once - fairly clean but starting to slip again. I didn't rejoin a forum and things...
  19. SimonM

    Holding the Fool (me) to Account

    Last few days it's been a bit easier. I am not as grumpy (everyone around me knew something was off a couple of weeks ago). I can focus better. My pains are not quite as bad. They are still there though - and I actually think now I have to be especially vigilant as I am starting to "forget" how...
  20. SimonM

    Pride and joy

    Great work on reaching 40 days! Keep it up! ... Does boredom lead to P addiction? I am also a person who like to be busy. Always doing something. I feel bad when I am "lazy". I find some of the toughest times to stay away from P are when I am bored. I want to fill my time with something...