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Middle of the night seems to be a problem. I don't know if I'm having bad dreams or if my brain is just processing stuff. I frequently wake up with angry thoughts or questions. Last night I had just fallen asleep and woke up with a jolt, I had images of LOTS of women/girls (porn type pics)...

Thank you for that. I guess that is the question that was in the back of my mind, although I suspect whether it leads back to P varies from person to person. I think the conversation I need to have with my husband is if he thinks it would or not.

Stupid off topic question, @Blondie did you change your profile pic? It looks the same but different.

@GBS Thanks for the reply. I've been thinking a lot about the subject of MO. Frankly I'm not sure how I feel about it. My husband and I haven't broached that subject yet. I think no release of any kind would be very difficult and has the potential for leading back to P (just my humble...

That gave me a laugh. Just the way you worded it. (I'm sorry) On a more serious note, just curious how you feel about it. (If you feel like sharing)

@Blondie As usual, thank you for your thoughts. And that my friend is the nuts and bolts of it! I think this is my key. And this! Perhaps you should become a counselor! Your words have me pondering another thing - if he had not hid it from me, if he had not excluded me, would I still...

Someone mentioned this book as a helpful read. Wondering if any have read it. I've read mixed reviews on it. Some saying it was a Godsend and others saying it puts the work/blame back on the partner of the addict. Looking for ways to rebuild the trust without having to babysit or stalk him...

33, also in September. Dreading this one right now, hopefully that feeling improves by then.

WOW! That is a lot to digest. It sure sounds like you got full disclosure (no pun intended). That is definitely a good first step toward healing. You've done the research, so you are aware of how difficult overcoming this addiction can be. Have you thought about how you will handle if he...

Question for you and any other recovering partners out there, on the topic of forcing recovery on him, does it seem fair to say that I need some sort of proof that he’s working on it if I’m going to trust him again? Or is that still requiring him to make an effort that he may not want to put...

Thank you for your thoughts. What terrifies me the most is the struggle insofar as it is very clear how out of control it can get and the lines that potentially will get crossed. It's very clear from reading through many journals that there are some good men here that had clear lines they...

Hi Blondebee, I was going to say welcome to the group, but I feel more like saying sorry you're here. Maybe you could start by sharing a bit of the background story and where you are at with your feelings. If you read through some of the partners' posts you will find that although there are a...

This is exactly what I've been deeply pondering. If our marriage is important to him then HE should initiate the fixing. I will gladly participate, but forcing him to do anything to stop P, or fix the marriage, in my mind means nothing if I have to force or threaten him into it. AND it would...

I am just a bit older than you, getting a little to close to 57 for my liking at the moment. 5'4" 110lbs (actually 107 after the stress of yesterday), don't have a six pack although been getting back to the gym since getting double boosted for covid. (Of course now that I have a good routine...

Partner here with my 2 cents. First thing is every partner handles thing differently. My thought is yes, you cheated, and apparently with people closest to her. (My personal definition of cheating is when you were "getting off", who were you thinking about. If it wasn't your gf then it was...

I applaud you how far you you've come, more over, for realizing your selfish thinking. Truly that is a big deal! Maybe consider sharing that with her...the whole story. I think it really shows your commitment as well as the fact that your being introspective which is so important in both...

So he just came downstairs and asked if I was coming to bed. (HUGE deal after not talking all day - I always have to be the ice breaker and at this point I don't have it in me anymore) I said no. He asked if I was afraid of getting covid and I said no. He looked at me cluelessly. I said you...

That moment when your husband returns from a 4 day trip, you've been sucking face and having sex, he get's covid and then you find dick pics on his phone. Literally can't leave because I am contagious. (At least it isn't monkey pox) So here's the deal...several weeks after he "stopped" P, I...

WOW! This is exactly where I need to get my head and heart to. It's what I feel I need to do to regain my sanity. I'm not quite there yet. Please keep posting!

Is this a thread or a book? I did a couple searches on the forum and can't find it.