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    Escape Velocity - Orbiters Journal

    Thanks Chris, that's a good idea. I did a similar-ish thing with restarting martial arts last year. That however did cost considerable money and swiftly ended due to Covid lockdowns. The thought of a free neighbourhood group didn't occur to me. I'll give it some thought. Day 5 today. I've been...
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    Escape Velocity - Orbiters Journal

    Day 1. Time to return back from the hole in my head to reality as another working week is upon me. Definitely disappointing that another weekend panned out this way but at the end of the day, there's no one else to blame. I think looking back, though I crossed the line with many behaviours this...
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    Escape Velocity - Orbiters Journal

    Thanks Chris, there was one PMO later that day due largely to * Using the computer on the couch and in bed late at night or when excessively tired. That wasn't good, should've known better but I need to leave it behind if i'm going to get some of my momentum back. Edit: Plus two more PMO's
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    Escape Velocity - Orbiters Journal

    Day 0 today. Didn't want to come on here and say it but here we are. It started with a bad day at work, like, a really bad day at work with plenty of unresolved issues waiting for me next week. I self soothed with a couple of drinks at the pub after work, which lead to one more over dinner with...
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    Escape Velocity - Orbiters Journal

    There's a disconnect with ourselves but also importantly I think a disconnection or withdrawal from our lives where we become trapped in our brain, where our thoughts & feelings become increasingly disconnected from reality. There's an emotional element but also yes that habit/reflex element...
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    Escape Velocity - Orbiters Journal

    Thanks Chris, wishing you much strength & self-conpassion bouncing back from some of your recent troubles as well. I think you're right on the money with taking a mindful approach here, catching the mind drifting, recognising & accepting it for what it is, breathing and bringing the mind back to...
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    Escape Velocity - Orbiters Journal

    Day 8 today. I've noticed instances of the Excessive fantasizing concerning women I know, ex-gfs, escorts, make believe scenarios behaviour beginning to creep in over yesterday and today. There could be many reasons behind it but I feel I need to take this seriously. Fantasizing at this point in...
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    Escape Velocity - Orbiters Journal

    Day 7 today. Still feels like early days but everything has been all in all, smooth sailing. The work thing I was worried about over the weekend worked out well and not spending the weekend frying my brain consuming mindless, revolting hardcore porn made a difficult day that much easier to...
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    Escape Velocity - Orbiters Journal

    @Wolf, It's an interesting theory. The less time we spend living in our reality, the less rational our decisions regarding it are. I never really thought of it that way but it makes a lot of sense. I think an additional to this is, over time the decision to escape becomes default which not...
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    Escape Velocity - Orbiters Journal

    Day 6 today. Not much time to post this morning. The rest of yesterday was quite difficult with persistent urges and low mood, complicated by my friend cancelling at the last minute leaving me without plans for the evening and plenty of idle time to wallow in bad feelings & entertain urges. I...
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    Escape Velocity - Orbiters Journal

    Day 5. It's the last day of the weekend today. Which means, once i've made it through today, it will be the third...maybe fourth time this year I have gone a whole weekend porn free. As I say this though, I need to be honest that there are flashbacks and urges swimming around in my brain and...
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    Escape Velocity - Orbiters Journal

    Day 4 today - Just another day really. Mood is very, very low today. On top of the general low-level discomfort of disrupting a lot of my 'relaxation' routines that lead to PMO, I had a important but very difficult therapy session the previous day. There is also some challenges waiting for me...
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    Escape Velocity - Orbiters Journal

    Thanks Phineas. I feel like porn for me at the moment is like a super-tight elastic band. Every time I stretch even a little way away it snaps back hard and fast. I need to take some drastic short term measures just to weaken the hold, stretch the band to the point I can realistically stay clean...
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    I'm a porn addict (by far the crappiest, lamest addiction ever)

    Love the focus & determination Force. Keep up the good work!
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    Escape Velocity - Orbiters Journal

    Day 2 today. Not much I know but it's better than 1 or 0. I was looking back at the list of behaviours I wrote down. I think rather than a list, it is better to think of these things as a chain of events that lead to PMO Eg - Drunk/Hungover and/or Tired -> Mindless computer browsing on couch...
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    Escape Velocity - Orbiters Journal

    Thanks for dropping by Escape. Sorry to hear of your recent troubles but i'm sure once you make a decision on how best to tackle it this time around, you will be able to get back to where you were. All the best man. Feeling the after effects of the weekend bingeing this morning but really that...
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    Escape Velocity - Orbiters Journal

    ^ Quality post up here Force. Some really good, practical strategies and good advice. Definitely taking it on board and will consider how some of these things apply to my situation. So it's Day 0 again. Been PMOing twice a day on average since my last post. Having a really difficult time...
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    I'm a porn addict (by far the crappiest, lamest addiction ever)

    Nothing but a stumble my friend. If you can live without porn for 81 days, you can live without it forever.
  19. O

    Escape and never come back

    Same here...
  20. O

    Escape Velocity - Orbiters Journal

    I'll take it on board. Thank you Phineas Day 1 today.
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