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  1. GBS

    Finally sick and tired of being sick and tired

    Keep going @FreedomFromTheStruggle_11 - stay strong, and be proud of your strength.
  2. GBS

    Another story - probably the same as everyone else

    Hi @Jlied - yeah, me too. My kids are older So the issue doesn’t exist. You’re right, there’s always someone suffering more. I derive no comfort from that thought. Seeing people struggle is a hard gig. Also SAA is not group therapy so whilst one can have conversations afterwards, you can’t...
  3. GBS

    Another story - probably the same as everyone else

    Gentlemen. Loving your essays on libido. I think I conclude that one shouldn’t be scared of a change in libido. Just because we had altered our brains to be almost completely sexed up all the time, it doesn’t mean a lower sex drive is less masculine. In fact the opposite. I won’t bang on about...
  4. GBS

    Porn is not an option

    Love your paragraph about being genuinely committed never to watch porn again in your life. I can say it to myself in a glib way, but when you wrote the words and there they are in bold….it’s actually really important to embrace the reality of that. Never again. Not once. I am alone in the house...
  5. GBS

    Another story - probably the same as everyone else

    335 days. There are days when my libido is flagging, and other days when it’s sky high. I did read, somewhat depressingly, that libido will over time drop if you don’t have sex. So there you go…….that’s the abyss. I am not getting into the darkness areas here. Just saying that I do get these...
  6. GBS

    Porn is not an option

    Powerful stuff @Blondie boy. It is not envy that I feel but expectation. Love your analysis of what the definition of “horny” is. True arousal does not come from a screen or a magazine. We need oxytocin. Keep going, mate. Never stop.
  7. GBS

    Moving Forward

    Hi @PrometheusUnbound - being less annoyed by one’s partner’s foibles and idiosyncrasies is one of the benefits of reboot. The fact that you notice you are still topping up is a huge sign that you can release that bad habit. This is growth. Massive. Can I have a ticket to your party in May, please?
  8. GBS

    Another story - probably the same as everyone else

    334 days free from the pornography beast. You will ne’er see me again you revolting emasculating freak. Freedom is mine. Not Much to say today as have been at a friend’s mother’s funeral. Highly charged, highly emotional. I had a drink afterwards. So, not that 3 glasses of red renders me...
  9. GBS

    Another story - probably the same as everyone else

    I am going to a funeral tomorrow, so Tuesday looks best for foot massagegate . I shall report back.
  10. GBS

    Another story - probably the same as everyone else

    Hmmm…..interesting @Androg ….short answer is no I haven’t tried foot massage. Her resistance to almost anything/everything even slightly sensual has been near total repulsion so there’s risk attached to that. She set boundaries back last March and I haven’t crossed them once. I have been through...
  11. GBS

    Another story - probably the same as everyone else

    Thanks @Blondie - your empathy is clear as day. I bet I do actually make it almost deliberately hard to comment on my situation - no one can resolve it except my wife. She either will or she won’t. That could be the last word on the matter , but it won’t be because I am a human being and need...
  12. GBS

    Another story - probably the same as everyone else

    Thanks @Nico . I knew the second I posted that it had somewhat invited your kind response. A gratitude list is something I should do. Today actually I feel immense as a man. Truly masculine and decent and ready for everything and anything. I heard someone saying something a bit sarcastic about...
  13. GBS

    Another story - probably the same as everyone else

    332 days. Genuinely depressing day yesterday. I could lapse into self pity but won’t. All I shall say is the walls are firmly up. 11 months sorting out this shit and zero rewards. Thanks.
  14. GBS

    Another story - probably the same as everyone else

    Actually very helpful @Jlied . Self pity - tricky. Someone at SAA a week ago said we should have zero tolerance for self pity. Yeah, sure mate. No problem. I’ll just make myself into a robot, that should do the trick. I didn’t say that, but thought it. And you’re right….knocking one out...
  15. GBS

    Crawling from the wreckage

    Hero. Inspiration.
  16. GBS

    Porn is not an option

    @Blondie - now you’re talking my language. Hard core monk mode means no sex with girl as well? So you have to do a full month. Go for it. I am so impressed. You know this is my speciality. And it’s so good for your brain. Keep a record, maybe on here, of what your emotional state is like. And...
  17. GBS

    Another story - probably the same as everyone else

    330 days. @Jlied - I will let you know how I get on. Playing a difficult course with slope rating of 131. Playing 18 holes. Solo. What time does your flight land? Ok day yesterday but had one of those slight panic attacks where I simply think: I am doing fine, in fact I am being nearly...
  18. GBS

    Another story - probably the same as everyone else

    Thanks @Ezel - blessings upon you too, my friend. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do, and weirdly it’s the sort of thing I thought I would fail at. I didn’t think I had a backbone but I do have one. You guys helped me get it. I owe you so much. And @Jlied ……once again my...
  19. GBS

    Another story - probably the same as everyone else

    329 days. Still good karma, but no real difference in Mrs GBS’s behaviour. A tiny bit more friendly but nothing that stirs the python. I shall persevere.
  20. GBS

    Porn is not an option

    Thanks. Helpful research. It seems obvious, doesn’t it, that although you’re high 400’s in recovery, there are still physical improvements to come? I mean, we harmed our brains and our dicks for many years, and expecting back to normal in roughly a year and a half seems too good to be true. I...
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