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🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟥🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟥🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦 ← Today, 10/03 Day 27 without PMO. Which by the calendar, puts me several days past a month. That's far and away a record for me, with respect to the MO part. It's been a wild time. But I'm managing. At this point it's a bit discomforting how...

Day 18 without MO. Probably the longest I've gone since I was what, 10 years old? Like I said before, I feel very different. It almost feels like I'm someone else. Abstinence is changing how I interact with everybody, everywhere. It also seems like my brain has begun to get used to the idea...

Rooting for you AJ7!! I am confident you can get the ball rolling again, and once you have I think you will feel much better very quickly.

Sorry to hear that you've been struggling, Trisquel. But you've got this!!! I totally relate to how you've been feeling about not integrating with people; I've been worrying about the exact same thing lately with my own program. But that is not "you"; that is trauma and addiction lying to you...

Hey guys! It has been an exhausting couple of weeks, but I am doing alright. I ended up fully relapsing a few days after my last post, unfortunately. But like before, I immediately observed how deeply miserable that made me feel the ensuing week, and that has given me what I needed to push...

Congratulations on one month @the_mountain_goat! That's huge. I will have to check out easy peasy again sometime, when I have some down time... Wishing you well on your big trip my friend.

I hope you feel better Trisquel! This is a big moment for you what with starting college, but I think it has the potential to be something really special if you can stick with this commitment. Good energy attracts good energy and I suspect making new connections with your fellow students could...

Hey all — it’s been awhile. I’m taking some inspiration from our friend @Trisquel here by starting a new thread. Lots of things have changed lately. I busted my ass these past two months to get into the program I mentioned on my last thread, studying and preparing and doing multiple rounds of...

Rooting for you man. I think for people who have really big hardships (like many of us on the forum), it is easy to not see just how hard we have it, and then be harsh with how we judge ourselves each day. I believe that in these cases the addiction is very much a symptom of the depth of those...

Great stuff dude. I think what you're describing is a perfect case of how stumbling can also be a form of progress, because here you have come out of it with a deeper, thoughtful understanding of yourself. That's really nice. Hope your weekend plans treat you well. 🙏

Day 12 no P. Thank you very much everyone, I appreciate it. Today was rough as usual but at least I managed to be productive. I got out of the house to get work done and made progress on applying/preparing for the big program. After that I hit the weights for the first time in maybe 5+ weeks...

Day 11 no P. Feeling really rough today, as I have almost always lately. I've been super stressed out, in part because there is some very concerning stuff going on with my sister's well-being, and I feel responsible to help her somehow but I really don't know how. I am also still dealing very...

You've got this AJ7. Sometimes I think that the heavy emotions you're talking about here in part come from the addiction (disappointment and fear give us a reason to keep using). Not that it's not understandable to feel the way you're feeling. With a little time and some patience I think you...

Sorry to hear that things have been challenging lately, @Trisquel. However I admire the mindset you have about building new habits and connections. It's a good reminder that I need to do more of that myself. I hope you've been well since you last posted. How was this week for you?

Sorry to hear that things have been challenging, @the_mountain_goat. I have experienced a lot of what you're talking about with the multiple relapses lately -- I know that's not fun. About this, I think maybe it's important to remind yourself that this is exactly what addiction does; control...

Hey guys. I am back and ready to start having some accountability again. Sorry for dropping off. I did relapse a number of times since I last checked in, and it was a very rough period in that respect. It reminded me the hard way of everything I truly hate about this addiction. I really, really...

Well, today's gone well so far. I've been doing a bunch of physical tasks, which I think has helped keep me distant from the urges. Right on, that I will.

Good luck today Trisquel. Sorry that you have been feeling worn down, but good job catching yourself this morning. 💪

Checking in early this morning as planned. Last night I had some powerful relapse dreams. What seemed like hours of them. It gave me what felt like the same "rush" as relapsing, but also the deep, sickly feeling of dread and hollowness. Despite that, I slept pretty deeply for most of the...

Had unplanned MO today, which isn’t ideal; if I'm going to MO, I want it to feel like a choice, not because I've lost control. What happened is that I let myself get carried away after a series of triggers. I’m always vulnerable to that sort of thing starting around the 3rd-4th day without O...