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  1. MapleSyrup

    Attempt number one thousand? A 22 year old's latest attempt at rebooting

    Day 111 Thanks for the encouragement, TryingHarder and mountain_goat. This week went a lot better than the last. I've been trying to go to the gym more often, especially when I have urges. I had some brain fog throughout the week, which I haven't had in a while. But I had a good week in terms...
  2. MapleSyrup

    my journey, 25, male, PMO since ~11, 100% ED, done with this shit forever, it did enough harm

    Congrats swimmer! Looking forward to reading your longer reflection post
  3. MapleSyrup

    Attempt number one thousand? A 22 year old's latest attempt at rebooting

    Day 104 Urges have been nearly out of control. Had a close call yesterday morning, where I nearly MO'd before getting out of bed to start my day. Also close calls with my browsing today, where I've been reading/watching stuff that I know makes me start fantasizing... Really need to stay in...
  4. MapleSyrup

    A fresh start for a mountain goat ⛰️

    Really sorry to hear this, mountain goat :( But I just want to encourage you that your progress isn't over, and you don't have to re-start from scratch. 4 relapses in 96 days is pretty stellar if you ask me, compared to probably 90% of guys who are more like 80 PMO in 96 days. Keep up your...
  5. MapleSyrup

    my journey, 25, male, PMO since ~11, 100% ED, done with this shit forever, it did enough harm

    Holy cow, almost a year! What an inspiration for the rest of us. Keep it up!
  6. MapleSyrup

    Attempt number one thousand? A 22 year old's latest attempt at rebooting

    Day 99 So I speculate this could be related to my wet dreams - if they functioned as a sort of physiological "mini relapse", but urges have come back this week with renewed vigor. Except they're not really porn-related, just strong urges to fantasize, and to seek release. It almost feels like...
  7. MapleSyrup

    A fresh start for a mountain goat ⛰️

    Nice, that's huge. Keep it up!
  8. MapleSyrup

    Attempt number one thousand? A 22 year old's latest attempt at rebooting

    Day 97 Had another wet dream, where I woke up right at the end, so it was really uncomfortable and felt too close to a relapse. Still involuntary though, so not much I could do about it. I think it's because urges have been high the last few days. Been meeting lots of people at uni clubs the...
  9. MapleSyrup

    Attempt number one thousand? A 22 year old's latest attempt at rebooting

    Day 94 Had a wet dream last night. Another weird one where I had a sexual dream and nutted, then woke up into another dream where I thought I had PMO'd and got sad about my streak being over. Then woke up for real, and realized that I hadn't PMO'd, but I did have a noctural emission and had to...
  10. MapleSyrup

    Attempt number one thousand? A 22 year old's latest attempt at rebooting

    Day 91 For the first time, I have achieved 90 days free of PMO! 🎉 The journey is still ongoing. I still fight urges every so often, although they've gotten few and far between. There's also still much room for improvement in my life and healthy habits that I want to implement. But I've come...
  11. MapleSyrup

    Attempt number one thousand? A 22 year old's latest attempt at rebooting

    Day 89 Smooth sailing so far this week. Been really tired lately, probably sleep deprived from busy days in grad school. Anxiety feels waaay lower the last couple weeks, hopefully it stays this way. As of the end of tomorrow, I'll be at 90 days! I had pretty much given up hope of ever...
  12. MapleSyrup

    Attempt number one thousand? A 22 year old's latest attempt at rebooting

    Day 84 Another week down. One week left to go until the big 90. Urges have been pretty in control, although every now and then while lying in bed, they'll just come out of nowhere. This past week, fantasizing and avoiding MO has been more of a challenge than urges to browse actual porn...
  13. MapleSyrup

    Unbusting my balls

    The binge drinking and self-harm were the first things that I quit. My therapist really drilled it into my head early on about how damaging those habits can be, and helped me come up with adaptive replacement habits - working out, running, and short-term stress reduction techniques like box...
  14. MapleSyrup

    Unbusting my balls

    Wishing you good luck man. I read your post and I can really relate to dealing with exagerated anxiety responses to expectations. In my case, my maladaptive coping habits came in the form of porn-use, binge drinking and self harm, which I'm glad to have put behind me now. I'm doing way better...
  15. MapleSyrup

    How it’s going?

    Hey DLS, rebooting is going pretty well. I'm on my longest streak yet, but I still don't feel like my brain is totally recovered. A success story for me though is feeling like I have nothing to hide when talking about PMO with friends, and being able to honestly say that I don't watch porn...
  16. MapleSyrup

    Attempt number one thousand? A 22 year old's latest attempt at rebooting

    Day 77 The last week went a lot better. Urges were there, but manageable. Had a close call with risky browsing, but didn't escalate to actual P. Getting closer to the 90 day checkpoint. Two weeks to go. Still feels a bit surreal that I've gotten this far, after 6-7 years of trying and failing...
  17. MapleSyrup

    Attempt number one thousand? A 22 year old's latest attempt at rebooting

    Day 70 Thanks for checking in, TryingHarder and Mountain Goat. Urges have continued to be quite distracting for the past few days, especially at the end of the day when I'm lying in bed and trying to fall asleep. Luckily I haven't totally given in, and haven't directly looked at P or MO'd...
  18. MapleSyrup

    Success

    Congrats man, happy for you!
  19. MapleSyrup

    Attempt number one thousand? A 22 year old's latest attempt at rebooting

    Day 66 Urges came back with a passion the last couple days. Totally out of the blue, I've woken up with crazy urges and nearly MO'd while half-asleep. Unfortunately today, I even watched stimulating stuff on YouTube in the morning, which had my brain in relapse-mode for the rest of the day. I...
  20. MapleSyrup

    Attempt number one thousand? A 22 year old's latest attempt at rebooting

    Day 64 Almost New Years here, at least for fellow EST people. Happy new years to everyone! This year was a pretty solid one of recovery in general for me. I rebuilt a lot of mental stability and confidence, and really worked on my anxiety in therapy and on my own. I quit weed and solo-drinking...
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