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  1. BrassBalls707

    Unbusting my balls

    Day 39 I had a close call after being in private and having alcohol in my system. I am not a fan of my behavior, tendencies and thoughts when I am tipsy or drunk by myself, so I will concede to only drinking and sleeping in company. Even then, I think it may be worthwhile to consider...
  2. BrassBalls707

    Unbusting my balls

    Day 38 I have just returned from a short vacation and experienced no urges whatsoever. Now that I am back home I had the experience of just one. The struggle had evaporated from my mind like snow in the sun but I am conscious of it now again. I am continuing taking the measures I have been...
  3. BrassBalls707

    Unbusting my balls

    Day 30 I made it to one month, but the allure of porn stays strong. As long as I 'refresh' it in my mind, it feels like I will never be able to release myself from its pull. I started going to a mental health professional again, the same one I had gone to before. We're working some other things...
  4. BrassBalls707

    Unbusting my balls

    Day 28 Had a rough day focus-wise but managed to apply mindfulness practices as I said to great effect. It is hard to be satisfied with yourself if you consistently underperform to your expectations. This kept me occupied most of the day. I experienced an urge that originated from boredom, I...
  5. BrassBalls707

    Unbusting my balls

    Day 27 Today I slipped further unfortunately, and was struck with deep regret late in the evening. I try to reassure myself that what was accomplished is good, but it is hard. I have the feeling I can not trust myself to take things easy. My slothful self takes over, I worry, I cope and risk...
  6. BrassBalls707

    Unbusting my balls

    Day 26 I feel myself slipping as I maintained less of the good habits I want to build. I survived today however, and tomorrow is a new day. Onwards.
  7. BrassBalls707

    Unbusting my balls

    I am well on my way to applying what you say and I agree. This is not something I want to actively work on when I am older when I have different stressors. Although I accept that I am at risk for the rest of my life and need to stay conscious of it for some time yet to come. Old habits die hard...
  8. BrassBalls707

    Unbusting my balls

    Day 25 I did what I said I would do, albeit after some urges struck. I kept busy throughout the day and feel satisfied and fulfilled. I had a mood dip in the evening and immediately meditated to prevent reaching for coping mechanisms. I am glad to say it helped. Onwards 💪
  9. BrassBalls707

    Unbusting my balls

    Day 24 Had only one urge today and managed to exert some self control. Once again saying I should meditate tomorrow and get ahead of these urges before they "strike", as I haven't been as mindful/conscientious as I wanted to be today. Onwards
  10. BrassBalls707

    Unbusting my balls

    Thank you for the kind words. If you don't mind me asking: what was your process for replacing those habits? What did you replace them with?
  11. BrassBalls707

    Unbusting my balls

    Day 23 Today was fine urge wise but the day before was purgatory. I was constantly bombarded by urges but managed to stay the course. I had difficulty due to fatigue as I had been up since 3 am (unfortunate, I couldn't sleep despite my best effort). I decided to pace naps through my day today...
  12. BrassBalls707

    Unbusting my balls

    Day 21 I looked at porn today and the day before. It was out of sheer boredom. I hate the fact that I can't tolerate boredom or turn my attention to something productive, it's something I will focus on more the coming days through (you guessed it) meditation. I've taken heavy hits to my...
  13. BrassBalls707

    Unbusting my balls

    Thanks for the inspiring and sympathetic words, I appreciate it. It's good to be reminded I'm not alone in this.
  14. BrassBalls707

    Unbusting my balls

    Day 14 I did some research into nail-biting, anxiety and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and learned a lot about myself by combining it with other insights. I believe I have a personality which is sensitive to falling in the traps I have. Reading papers, they almost seemed to fit too...
  15. BrassBalls707

    Unbusting my balls

    Day 13 I've relapsed quite a few times since September but I have gone without (PM)O since the end of December. I am still applying what I've learned, but balancing it all is a bitch. For two weeks now I've been unable to sleep between 2-6am and that's caused a decrease in resistance to...
  16. BrassBalls707

    Unbusting my balls

    Day 16/30 I relapsed again, getting further than last time. I recall not reminding myself of the steps necessary to curb this addiction. It really is as simple as staying conscientious for me, and if I don't cultivate that I will keep relapsing. I know what my mistakes are. Bringing phone to...
  17. BrassBalls707

    Porn is not an option.

    Porn is not an option.
  18. BrassBalls707

    You're as strong as you wanna be.

    You can do this! Your mileage is proof! It helps me to write out how things went, and what went wrong. To commit your thoughts to text processes them. Good luck on your path friend 💪
  19. BrassBalls707

    Unbusting my balls

    Day 7/30 I haven't been posting as I come to the same conclusions often. I am posting now to keep this battle at the forefront of my mind, lest I let down my guard like I did last time. I've been continuing to meditate to cultivate conscientiousness, to prevent having as many close calls...
  20. BrassBalls707

    Unbusting my balls

    All truths there, I agree. Already put my phone far enough away when I go sleep, so that's not an issue. But I'll take your advice about naps and focus on getting my nightly sleep right, as opposed to patching holes with naps.
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