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  1. M

    Down 7 up 8

    Day 3 Going to focus on studying all day. I hope everyone keeps strong today.
  2. M

    Down 7 up 8

    DAY 0 I feel like I've stopped really caring about recovery at this point. This is not the best mind set to be in I realize. I used this time having covid and being quarantined as an excuse to be lazy and let my discipline slack. Now that I am able to leave the house it's back to the gym and...
  3. M

    Down 7 up 8

    I restarted my streak. I forget when it happened, but I have been sick with covid so I used porn to cope and waste energy so that I could sleep. I should probably be a little bit more active on my post to get things off my chest. If anyone here wants/needs an accountability partner, let me...
  4. M

    Down 7 up 8

    Day 12 I think... In the past couple days I have tried watching P and I can't bring myself to do it. I have intentionally gone back to consume P to pacify my negative emotions multiple times this week, and I can't even get an erection while watching it. I haven't been dealing with PIED...
  5. M

    Down 7 up 8

    Day 10 The more I practice mindfullness, the more intense the urges are becoming. I need to focus my awareness to the sensations of the urges instead of the cause of the urges.
  6. M

    Down 7 up 8

    Day 10 I got some early sunshine in my eyes with a little bit of cardio to start the day. Time to catch up on studying.
  7. M

    Down 7 up 8

    Day 9 When I urge surf, I have noticed when focusing my attention on urges, instead of whats causing the urges (triggers), the urge goes away quicker. They have been small weaker waves as well. My main trigger I have been dealing with is negative emotions. Anger especially. I still haven't...
  8. M

    Down 7 up 8

    Day 7 I have no energy, discipline or motivation to be studying.
  9. M

    Down 7 up 8

    Day 6 Today was rough. I was able to practice urge surfing though.
  10. M

    Getting my life back

    It's been inspiring reading your journey over the past 7 years. Thanks for sharing.
  11. M

    Down 7 up 8

    Day 6 How can I re-frame my idea of a streak? If I continue to think in terms of 'longest streak' am I setting myself up for a an inevitable slip-up? I have learned to be much more compassionate to myself after a 'streak' ended and I have been able to get back up and try again immediately...
  12. M

    I know I can do it. I can feel myself getting closer to success.

    This may not be applicable to your situation due to any number of reasons, but what has worked for me is having my phone out of reach while I sleep. It has multiple benefits for me. I know as soon as I am in bed it's bedtime, not screen time. Secondly because my phone is also my alarm clock, I...
  13. M

    Down 7 up 8

    Day 4 I am finally back from our camping trip and the kids are at school and wife is at work which means my cue to leave the house. I am aware that I am in a scenario that can cause me to slip-up and set me back so it's time to go out somewhere to study or walk or read.
  14. M

    Down 7 up 8

    I have told her numerous times before about my dislike about p. Her response at first was more or less "Why watch it then?". I have asked myself that plenty of times as well. Then I finally read YBOP and understood why. Since after reading it I explained what I was experiencing so now she...
  15. M

    Down 7 up 8

    I used punishment in a hyperbolic manner. Maybe a bit extreme. I wasn't in the mindset that I needed to be punished though. At the time I knew that some hard physical activity would be beneficial for me, that's why said it. I have been working on being more compassionate towards myself after...
  16. M

    Down 7 up 8

    Day 0 This morning I was doing some studying for an I.T. certificate I am pursuing and along with the agitation of focusing on reading, I have that familiar voice telling me to just relax instead and relapse. My wife and I had plans to leave separately. She was to take the kids to her friends...
  17. M

    Down 7 up 8

    Earlier this year I opened up to my wife about my issues with P. It was easy to talk about it because at that point I was abstinent for a few weeks. Now I feel the overwhelming presence of imposter syndrome. It was easy to talk about it to her because I felt like I was finally able to gain...
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